Sunday, March 30, 2014
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Thoughts: Financial Vs Emotional Cheating
A person cheats another one in relationship and yet people don’t judge him or brand him cheater or dishonest. On the other hand if someone cheats another one financially, the person is readily branded cheater or dishonest by society. Is it that society has become so much materialistic? Is it materialism at display in such different treatment of emotional cheating Vs financial cheating?
I think people have not become so much materialistic but they have become skeptic Even people who are very honest and ethical in personal life, when asked to talk or share opinion about honesty and ethics, may speak negatively or may avoid talking about it, or think of other aspects (e.g. financial as you said), because of skepticism…
So I am in a bus and an old lady is fighting with the conductor, telling that she does not have money to reach the destination but please allow since she has no other means to go. I see the scene but decide not to help the lady with a 20 or 50 rupee note. One person watching this can say that this is materialism’s victory over emotions (since I did not pay and old lady) but actual reason can be different (I doubting whether she was genuinely poor or faking it). Since no one can be sure about others emotions (people fake it most of the time), we ignore giving emotional responses. As a spectator, we can never know who actually cheated in any relationship; it may be that only one side of the coin was visible to us. So we tend to ignore and not judge people by their responses to emotions. On financial matters, it is easy to judge and hence we can call people dishonest easily…
For cheating in general, from personal experiences I see seldom a person cheats another twice financially. One can take legal recourse or break the friendship with that person forever. Now on emotional cheating or personal cheating etc, we never know why the person cheated in the first place. Was it a revenge for some other cheating received? Even if the person cheated, the other person may decide neither to take legal action nor to break off the relationship forever, because of various reasons like dependency or need. So as a society or community or observing individuals, we can seldom be sure what cooked up, what led to what, and even if we are sure that A cheated B, there is high probability that A may not cheat C or D (or us) since each relationship by their nature are unique . Since it is very difficult to judge relationships, in general we don’t call people honest/dishonest by how a particular relationship turns or ends… If one cheated another financially, one, it is easy to prove and be sure about, and second since financial transactions are not really unique like each relationship, we may decide to label a person as a fraud or cheater with confidence…
E.g. a person has piled up credits in his grocery bills. If I am a medical shop owner, I would know that the person is very much likely to default on medical bills also and hence I won’t sell anything to him on credit. But a friend fighting with another friend and being insensitive towards him, does not lead me to also breaking off with him fearing the same to happen with me. I can be cautionary but since his ability to hurt me is also decided by my ability to react, or his actions are guided by other person’s actions, I may not feel threatened. Financial transactions are give OR take. Relationships are give AND take. So both are very different…
Monday, March 17, 2014
Movies and Moments
‘Queen’
The
movie ‘Queen’ is a great entertainer, though we went to watch it thinking it to
be a ‘family movie’ while it had so many ‘dirty’ segments that we felt let down
many times. We had observed that so many people in the theatre had taken their
kids and entire families to watch the movies, perhaps under the same impression
seeing promos and many of them would have felt embarrassed. Nevertheless it had
many touching moments; if I recall some of those:
-
Rani (Kangana’s character) was depressed but when she found company of three
other guys who had more unfortunate life events behind them, due to relativity
she thought her life was not that miserable. It gave her strength to cope up.
-
At the very beginning of the movie, its touchiest part came when Vijay told
Rani that he could not marry her. Rani’s reaction to this news was a big test
for Kangana Ranaut and she came out very impressive in her acting. In fact this
movie should be remembered as a great show of acting skills and charisma of
Kangana Ranaut. She was very good at it and this may be one of the very few
Bollywood mass movies where lead actor is a female.
-
Rani left for Paris and Amsterdam all alone and managed it well. But she was
fortunate to have come across good people otherwise her adventure could have
gone horrid. In that sense, the movie was not leaving a very good message.
Though the transformation of Rani from one who obeys always to everyone (her
honest statement sums it well: “tell me one person whoever in this world to whom
I have not agreed and obeyed always”) to the one who is able to take her own decisions
was truly liberating. In this sense, the movie was putting up a very valid case
and example.
-
Rani’s ultimate rejection of her fiancĂ© and boyfriend Vijay after he tried to
come back in her life was on the surface disappointing but I think Vijay
deserved it. It was interesting how he was thinking Rani of not being his equal
status, while in two weeks Rani had outgrown him. Near the end of the story,
Rani was more forward thinking and liberated person than Vijay who was
appearing as a boring damp shrub. Another interesting phenomenon was when Vijay
got a high paying job how he changed colours yet at his core he had kept his
previous philosophies. Rani on the other hand had truly grown up with
experiences…
Return to
Paradise
I
watched this 1998 movie only recently on TV and was immensely touched by it. I
read that this is a remake of a French film ‘Force majeure’ released in 1989. Nevertheless
I think this movie; its story and all the performances remain one on the best I
have ever seen.
Three
boys had great fun holidaying in Malaysia and unknowingly did a small mistake
of losing a rented bicycle and are caught for keeping drugs (though this part
they did not do unknowingly). Two of them return to the US while one remains in
the beautiful iland country which appeared like paradise to them and is to be executed
for the crime in Islam dominated country. The other two went on with their
lives but in a dramatic manner are told about their friend’s situation and
given option to share the blame and tolerate tough prison for at least two
years in order to save the life of their third colleague. Their reactions,
psychology, thought processes and working of the mind is very well captured. It
is irony that one of the two who agreed first to take the blame and go to
prison backs out first and one who never wanted to, keeps his promise due to
his own reasons.
It
was also very interesting how the guy they were going to save tells them that
he won’t have returned to save his friends, if he was in their place! His faith
in God and his disbelief in God’s presence due to painful prison life were also
very touching. It was also an irony that the guy hanged for the crime was the ‘best’
person and a good human being and responsible citizen amongst the three.
This
is such an excellent movie which touches our soul and no viewer would remain
unmoved watching it…
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