Why Male Plasma is Being Preferred for Covid19 Related Treatment

I received a ‘forwarded message’ in Whatsapp which contained a list of plasma donors related to Covid19 treatment with their blood groups and contact details. It was a long list with more than 60 volunteers and the message asked to forward it to more people so that the needy can benefit. I forwarded it to a few people.

After a few days, I saw a message from someone which said that “male” plasma was being preferred instead of females. That got me wondering if it was a kind of “gender bias” or if there was a real medical reason behind that. I went back to the plasma donor list shared earlier and I found that all were males! Hence, I searched on the internet and found below article from BBC:

Coronavirus: Male plasma contains higher levels of antibodies

23 June 2020

Studies suggest men are more likely to become seriously ill and therefore produce higher levels of antibodies than women. This means their plasma could be more useful for saving lives. Of the donations from men, 43% had high enough levels of antibodies to be used in trials, compared with 29% of those from women. Higher antibody levels were also more often found in older patients, Asian patients and those who had been treated in hospital for Covid-19. Prof David Roberts, associate director for blood donation at NHS Blood and Transplant, said, "More plasma donors are needed. But we would especially want to hear from men."

Source: BBC

I noticed a few things from the above article summary:

1. Males are more prone to become infected with Corona virus and I have read this in many articles before. So far, I have been believing that this may be due to the fact that males are more exposed to outside environment since they have more compulsions to go out of homes in order to earn or support their families.
2. Since males are more prone to become infected, they also exhibit higher resilience and generate higher levels of anti-bodies to fight Covid19.
3. The difference between males’ and females’ proportions of higher anti-body count is not much: it is 43% for males Vs 29% for females. I doubt if it is so significant that even doctors and hospitals should start openly saying that they would prefer male plasma donors. But I am not an expert and hence I won’t like to conclude from scientific angle.
4. There are more categories of people who develop higher levels of anti-bodies, e.g. older people, Asian people, and those who recovered at home and never visited a hospital for Covid-19 treatment. But mostly, only “males” are being highlighted as “ideal donors”, perhaps due to gender related cultural bias.  

I don’t know if the higher proportion of males having higher anti-bodies is really due to some inherent gender-specific advantage because the same article mentions that it is so because males are more prone to get serious illness from Covid19. But I can see that with doctors, hospitals and media clearly preferring male donors, it means that a lot of eligible female donors would not be coming out to donate their plasma. This will be a loss to the cause at an overall level. In fact, in many such cases whenever media or government make something a “gender issue”, it harms the cause at the overall level.

I would want the medical professionals to stop spreading a message of “preference for male plasma donors”. Blood plasma has no gender and let it come from whichever gender of donor chooses to volunteer. Hospitals are not in the state of luxury that they need to differentiate between "higher level" vs "not so high level" plasma; since plasma is in shortage. The fact that there was not even a single female plasma donor’s name in the list I received on WhatsApp proves that this open gender preference is leading to female recovered patients not coming out to donate plasma. Hope our hospitals and government would be more aware and sensitive of how their actions and messages lead to unfavorable results and would be careful in future.

- Rahul Tiwary

Justice For Manav Singh

Pictures: Manav Singh Source: Twitter

This is going to shock you, so please be prepared. I came to know about this only yesterday and I searched to read newspaper articles about this case before writing this. I have mentioned references at the end of the blog post.

Manav Singh was a 17 year old boy from Gurugram. He was a student of class 12^th at a prestigious school in Gurugram. He was a member of an Instagram group; along with many other boys and girls. A girl, perhaps of same age or younger to him, made false allegations of molestation and rape against him in that Instagram group and other group members started abusing and threatening him. The boy got scared, tried to explain but no one listened to him; then some boys told him that the police would arrest him and hence he jumped from the balcony of his 11th story flat and ended his life.

The boy did not leave any suicide note but chats and messages on his phone showed that other boys had warned him that the police would arrest him and hence he was scared.

The sequence of events from what I read is as follows. This was the time when "Me Too" campaign was floating on social media where women from all over the world had started making allegations of sexual or other harassment against men. During that controversy, another controversy broke out in Delhi. It was called "Boys Locker Room" which was a "closed chat room" on Instagram where teenage boys from elite families of Delhi were talking ‘dirty’ against girls. Someone revealed screenshots of the group in the open and it created a big controversy. Delhi Commission of Women (DCW) lodged a formal police complaint against those minor boys and the DCW chief tweeted publicly to Delhi police for taking stern action against the boys. (Later on, it was found that the posts about "rape" were made by a girl who had created a fake ID of a boy!) This was being reported daily in the media.

During this time, the above incident happened in an Instagram group where a girl made a false allegation against Manav, claiming that he had "raped" her 2 years back when he was only 15. She did not provide any evidences or supporting facts and it was assumed to be a false case but the boys in the Instagram group got an opportunity to harass Manav. After Manav committed suicide, the girl who had made allegations against him posted another message that if Manav could not tolerate her allegations, he was "weak-hearted" and it was his problem, not hers. It is shocking to see this level of insensitivity seen in teenage kids now a day.

We have many takeaways from this case:

1. Social media usage is already officially restricted for those below 18 years of age; but this is not being seriously monitored. Parents should discourage their kids from joining social media and should also not talk about social media in front of kids, since they will get curious after hearing about it.
2. Public “naming and shaming” has its own downside since no one verifies the claims. Our society has a general tendency to blame everything on the “boys” and consider girls as virtuous (since they used to be so in the past) and this has caused a very unfair environment for boys since they feel they won’t be trusted even when they are right.  
3. The police or the national commission of women should have traded caution in this case since the boys were all minor and there was no urgency of action. But in these times when a lot is being done for publicity, perhaps caution is a tragedy.

Justice for Manav

Manav Singh’s father has filed a police complaint in this matter and he is waiting for action taken. I read that the girl moved to Punjab after Manav died and the boys who threatened Manav switched off their phones. But this should not stop the police from investigating the case. Proper justice as per the law should be done. 

If you are on Twitter, you can join Manav’s father at https://twitter.com/justice4manav and support his cause. Otherwise, if you see young age boys and girls in stress, try to bring them to perspective and never let them get misled by believing in rumors. Also, we should try to protect kids and teens around us from excessive exposure to media and adult content. These would be true tributes to Manav.

With hope and pray that Manav gets justice and no other kid suffers like he had to.

- Rahul Tiwary

References: TOI, Zee, STP, TMF, FPJ, OpInd

Reasons Why Sushant Singh Rajput’s Death Caused Unprecedented Frenzy

After Bollywood actor Sushant Singh Rajput died last month, everyone was shocked. He was at the height of his career, his last released movie had done Rs 100+ Crores business, he was in the pink of his health and about to get married. No one could come to terms with his untimely death. But his death was not the first such “shocking celebrity death” we had seen. We have had a long list of actors, actresses or celebrities, like Divya Bharti, Sri Devi, or Sunanda Pushkar, who died mysterious deaths when they were perfectly fit and healthy. So, what made Sushant’s case different?

I am thinking about Sushant’s death being “different” because the grief, shock, and mass hysteria we have witnessed after his death have been truly unprecedented. Even Sri Devi’s death shocked one and all, but the mass grieving did not last so long and with so much intensity. Why could not people move on and why are they still stuck in the first stage of grieving process: denial?

Let us go into the details to understand it better.

After news about Sushant Singh Rajput’s death came out, the first thing which shocked everyone were his dead body’s pictures right from his bedroom and a red scar properly visible on his neck. Whoever released those photos out in the public within a few hours of his death needs to answer to his/her conscience about why he/she did that. We had never seen such death images before and after we saw those pictures, we could not forget anything. It was going to haunt us for a long time.

Second, I remember the first day of his death. Most people were able to get it that his death was a case of “suicide”. On that day, I was among the few people who immediately suspected that his death was not a suicide but it was a murder. I wrote about it in a blog post titled, “Reasons Why Sushant Singh Rajput's Death Looks Like a Murder Case” and it was a tremendous hit, getting 1200 views on day-1 and by now it has got 9000+ views and 25 comments. None of my blog posts in the recent past have ever got such a response. One of the reasons why my blog post was a hit was because I was one of the first who started talking about the “murder angle”. And within a few days, everyone was talking about it.

Why did this suspicion that Sushant’s death was a murder and not a suicide become so popular? I think it was mainly because of those leaked photographs which showed Sushant’s well composed face to us. Earlier, most of us had even believed Sri Devi’s death to be a case of murder, but no one pursued it beyond one’s imagination, forget about starting a campaign for its proper investigation. We treated Sushant’s case so differently, even though Sri Devi was much more popular pan-India and in all age groups, as compared to Sushant. I think those pictures made a huge difference.

Then, within a few weeks after his death, autopsy, postmortem reports, initial investigation reports, all pointed to the fact that his death was a suicide and not a murder. But we did not believe any of such evidences. And here, I shall come to the second reason why people reacted to Sushant’s death in an unprecedented manner. It was because “people wished it not to be a suicide”.

Yes. I think that deep inside, everyone wanted his death not to be a suicide, and that was the reason why we have not yet come to terms with his death. We are still in the “denial” phase.

To all people, Sushant looked like a perfect specimen of a “son” or a “brother” most people aspire to have. He was bright in studies, he was good natured, he was a family person, he worked hard and achieved his goals. What more do we expect from our sons? Everyone saw his/her brother or son or friend in Sushant: he had that universal charisma. It made coming out of grief even more difficult for us.

I wish that at some point of time, we all have to move on from this episode. Sushant Singh Rajput is dead; and no fact can change it. Whatever happens to anyone or the other will not impact his soul. The police are already investigating his death and we should allow them time to come to a conclusion. We need to have faith that if there was a foul play in his death, it will eventually come out, as most secrets come out sooner or later.

To conclude, I think to a large extent the initial photographs of his dead body made a huge impact on the minds of people. And then, Sushant had a universal appeal in the minds of most Indians and we desperately wanted his death not to be a suicide. These factors caused us not to accept the postmortem report, or any medical report about his mental health condition. But, we cannot live in denial forever. At some point of time, we have to come to terms with his death and the sooner we get, it will be better for our own mental wellbeing.

Future will tell more about how our country comes to terms with his death. But Sushant Singh Rajput’s death will always be remembered as an unprecedented event where our masses showed empathy and sentiments like never before. We should always be proud of this fact.

- Rahul Tiwary

Nupur Sharma and Live TV Debate Controversy

I had become a fan of Nupur Sharma after I first read about her. Her name was announced by the BJP as its candidate during Delhi Assembly Election 2015 against the big name of Arvind Kejriwal. I wondered who she was and searched the web to read about her. She had got splendid credentials. Born and brought up in Delhi, she studied Economics at the Hindu College of Delhi University and later completed her law degree (LLB) from faculty of law, Delhi University. Then she completed her Master of Law (LLM) from London School of Economics (LSE). This was enough to understand that she was a woman of great talent and intellect. But why was she in politics?

I read that she was involved in student politics from her Delhi University days. She was a member of ABVP and became President of Delhi University’s Student Union (DUSU). That was some feat. She has since then held several positions in the BJP, being associated with BJP’s youth wing and a member of state executive committee of the BJP Delhi.  

Way back in 2009, she was featured among the “Top 10 Most Inspirational Women in India” by the Hindustan Times. If we look at above credentials, it was a place well deserved. You can read more about her here on Wikibio,  or check her profile on LinkedIn. If our country has to become a developed nation and a nation of our dreams, we need well educated and honest people like her in politics too.  

Now I will come at the reason I am telling about her. Yesterday, I got to know through News that a fellow politician from AAP shouted at her and verbally abused her during “Live” TV debate. You can read about it here or here. The leader from AAP was claiming that the BJP was using Shri Ram for political gains; when Nupur Sharma intervened and then the man lost control and started abusing her. Nupur Sharma has said that she would be taking legal action against him for defamation and character assassination. This episode “broke the internet” and last night, #WeStandWithNupurSharma was trending on Twitter as #1 trend in India.

These days, I have been increasingly getting annoyed with the needless “controversies” breaking on the internet and on the TV news media. Anything and everything become prime time news and discarded after a few days once another controversy-worthy news comes out. This is a never-ending trend and creates unnecessary stress in our minds.

I was thinking about how to end this “media mess”. I think we have too many TV News channels and they are continuously fighting among themselves for “breaking news”. In this competition, truth becomes a tragedy. I was reflecting on yesterday’s controversy and wondered how to prevent such incidents from happening in the future. I noticed that this issue happened because the debate was a “live” debate. Had this been a pre-recorded debate, the TV channel could have edited and cut out that portion when the man went berserk. You may ask what the benefit is of “hiding” things and an abuse is an abuse, whether it is shown on TV or not. If the channel hid the abusive portion, would it not be unfair for victims like Nupur Sharma? I think, even if the clip is cut out from being aired to the viewers, the portion would still be recoded and hence if the victims want to take legal action, they could still do it, because they were defamed and abused in front of a larger panel and their peer and that amounts to insult. But it would at least avoid bringing out the controversy in front of the public, save them from some stress and avoid wasting their time hearing or discussing about it. Overall, it will save productivity and energy of the viewers if we ban such content.

Therefore, I was thinking that all TV channels could avoid “live” TV debates. If channels don’t do it, government should ban live TV debates because all such programs become too risky to air. If the show is “live”, anyone among the panelists can always abuse the platform for fulfilling stupid or evil goals. “Live” debate can be misused to spread a false anti-national propaganda, or to defame and harm the image of an important person or organization, for example.

Apart from the risks involved in airing “live” content, this controversy on social media also highlighted how "online abuse" is often tolerated by the same set of people, but if the same incident happens on TV, those people are furious. It proves that TV as a medium is still so powerful, perhaps since it is more "personal" and online content is still taken lightly. If you are on social media platforms, you would notice that people use abuses very frequently while commenting on famous people’s tweets. No action is taken against such people. But if something of that kind happens on TV, it has serious repercussions.

I think that at some point of time we should start making such controversies as “examples” to make real systematic changes in our country. One Nupur Sharma filing a legal case against one stupid man won’t change anything. But if TV channels are made responsible and held accountable for showing bad content to the public, that may be a really beneficial change. The ideas I shared in this blog post may not be perfect. But if we start trying to find ideas and solutions to fix systematic problems, we may create a better future for our country.

What do you think about it?

- Rahul Tiwary

Chandrashekhar Tiwari "Azad": Jayanti of the Great Indian Freedom Fighter

Today (July 23rd) is the birth anniversary of the great freedom fighter Chandrashekhar Azad.

Late Chandrashekhar Azad's real name was Chandrashekhar Tiwari. He was born in MP and his father was Pandit Sitaram Tiwari. He later took the symbolic name "Azad" meaning "Free". He also used a name 'Balraj' while signing documents for his revolutionary organization.

Chandrashekhar’s family wanted him to become a Sanskrit scholar, so he went to Kashi Vidyapeeth, Banaras. He got agitated hearing about Jallianwala Bagh massacre and joined freedom movement.

He first took part in Non-Cooperation Movement under MahatmaGandhi at the age of 15 and he was given "15 whip-lashes" by the British police as punishment. When the police asked about his details, he replied that his name was ‘Azad’ (free), father’s name as ‘Swatantrata’ (independence) and his residence was ‘Jail’.

After Gandhi ji suspended the non-cooperation movement in 1922, he joined the Hindustan Republican Association (HRA) formed by revolutionaries Ram Prasad Bismil, Chatterji, Shachindra Nath Bakshi and Sachindra Nath Sanyal. He rose in ranks and later took charge of the organization. He successfully led many revolutionary campaigns and was counted as one of the foremost revolutionaries or freedom fighters in his time. 

Chandrashekhar Tiwari "Azad" sacrificed his life at the age of merely 29. 

- Rahul Tiwary

Shri Lalji Tandon - A Great Leader of A Gone Era

Shri Lalji Tandon, the Governor of Madhya Pradesh, has died at the age of 85. Born in 1935, he was certainly a politician from an era which has gone past. After getting news about his death, I tried to read more about him and his life, to reflect on how typical politicians have changed over the time.

Shri Lalji Tandon was a stalwart leader of the BJP. He was a politician belonging to the era of Atal Behari Vajpayee and LK Advani. His stature can be understood from the fact that after his death, 3 days of state mourning has been announced in the state of Uttar Pradesh in his honor. And Prime Minister Narendra Modi said the following about him today, "Shri Lalji Tandon will be remembered for his untiring efforts to serve society. He played a key role in strengthening the BJP in Uttar Pradesh. He made a mark as an effective administrator, always giving importance of public welfare."

Lalji Tandon was born in Lucknow on 12^th of April 1935. He graduated from Lucknow University and married Krishna Tandon. The couple had three children. During his initial days, Lalji Tandon was associated with RSS as a volunteer (Swayamsevak). He met Atal Behari Vajpayee during his stint at the RSS and made him his life-time friend and guide. He started his political stint in the year 1960. He was two times member of UP legislative committee and 3 times MLA. He took part in JP Movement against Indira Gandhi. Lalji Tandon is known for many innovative experiments in politics. He is also known to have played a key role in BJP's alliance with the BSP in Uttar Pradesh. He also served as a minister in Uttar Pradesh at more than one occasion. When Atal Behari Vajpayee left politics, his Lucknow Lok Sabha seat was given to Lalji Tandon and he won it easily. And in his later part of life, he served as a Governor of two states: Bihar and Madhya Pradesh. 

What makes Lalji Tandon different from the current crop of leaders is his life and his approach to politics. He was born in Lucknow and remained associated with it for his whole life. He was a very popular figure in the city and derived his strength from the community. He was also well educated and had written a book on the history of Lucknow, titled "Ankaha Lucknow" (अनकहा लखनऊ). He made several new points in his book, including how although the city of Lucknow derived its name and legacy from “Lakshman” (Brother of Lord Ram), later on Mughals and Nawabs had changed the city’s impression and identity to an Islamic one.

He was known to have a good nature and he used to get along with everyone very well. He had a completely clean political tenure with no controversies or charges of corruption, which is now a day seen rarely.

If we think of Atal Behari Vajpayee and then think of his associate and protégé Lalji Tandon, we can easily understand that these leaders constituted a “class” of politicians. These leaders were highly educated and intellectuals in their field; associated deeply with the society; had dedicated their whole life for the cause; and never took shortcuts to success. These leaders had morals and principles and lived by those during their entire life. They achieved success not because of any “accident”; but because of the strength of their character. If we look at the current crop of leaders who are constantly into the “mess” of the things; where they are often seen raising provocative slogans, polarizing voters, or stooping to any level just to cling to the power, we shall realize the importance of having leaders like Lalji Tandon; which I think is important to keep the faith of our future generations in the politics of our country.

Om Shanti.

- Rahul Tiwary

Related News: Hindustan, Bloomberg, AU, NIE, ET, HT

PETA India’s Save-Cow Ad on Raksha Bandhan: An Avoidable Controversy

PETA (People for Ethical Treatment of Animals) recently put out ads for cow-protection, making reference to Raksha Bandhan (Rakhi) festival. Here is the ad (Source: Twitter/Swarajya):

The above ad created a huge controversy on social media where people started questioning PETA about its intention to target a “Hindu festival”. Since PETA’s slogan had said, “Go leather free”, people started making jokes that perhaps PETA thought that Rakhis were made of leather (this imagination was weird to begin with; whoever started it). As it happens on social media, people spend little time in reading more about topics and immediately start making memes and jokes. It is a competition: those who tell jokes earliest, get maximum ‘likes’ and ‘shares’. And those who can sacrifice truth and facts for quick publicity and fame, earn more ‘followers’.

As we can see from this ad, PETA tried to send the message of “cow protection”. The Ad shows picture of a cow, who apparently is herself saying, “This Rakshabandhan, please protect me: go leather-free”. As you can see, there is a colon after “me”. It is obvious that most cows are killed for leather industry apart from being used for beef. But since Rakhi is a Hindu festival, it is obvious that PETA won’t speak about “beef” since Hindus do not eat beef and hence PETA spoke about leather instead, since Hindus still use leather products.

We can realize that the intention of this ad was noble and fine. But it still ended up creating a huge uproar on social media. These days, social media is like a place where land-mines are installed; no one knows when and where one would explode. Could PETA have avoided this controversy? I think yes, if it did not target a specific festival, or if it used more text on the ad. Perhaps it is a PETA strategy to target festivals, since it catches people’s attention, and hence the strategy works fine. But if PETA had used a better catch phrase, it could have saved the day. For example, how about below quote from the cow:

“You take a vow to protect your sisters on Raksha Bandhan. Please protect me too by boycotting leather products.”

The above slogan would have been much more acceptable. Or there may be other better ideas.

After the controversy, PETA India clarified too. PETA said, “We didn’t say Rakhis are made of leather. We said Raksha Bandhan is a good day to extend protection to cows who are our sisters under the skin by taking a pledge to go leather-free, for life. That’s a message all kind people can get behind.” [Reference: Swarajya]

This controversy is a reminder that people should not blindly trust whatever they see on social media, but they need to search the credible news sites like newspapers to read the complete news. Also, they should not react “immediately” if they see a controversy; but wait until more facts become known. Social media users should also not promote “rumor mongering” by some popular channels through their mindless likes and retweets.  At the same time, this controversy is a reminder to PETA that they need to plan their campaign better. This controversy did make a huge impact, but all in the wrong direction. No one is talking about the cause of “cow protection” after this Ad and its related controversy. PETA won’t like to waste such opportunities into wasting money, time and energy.

- Rahul Tiwary

Life: The Most Touching Holi of My Life

This year, I was at my ancestral village for the festival of Holi. Holi is the Hindu festival of colors and happiness. Children wait for it for the whole year and enjoy it like anything. No one stops them from making a total mess playing with water and colors on that day. But as we keep growing older, we are not able to enjoy it thoroughly in the same manner as we did in our childhood. Still, we remember all the fun we had during childhood and the memory is a kind of consolation in itself.

I do not recall if I was at my ancestral village earlier for Holi since I grew up. It was a new experience for me this time. I noticed the difference in customs in the village with respect to how we celebrate Holi in cities. There was one incident which touched me deeply.

As per the village custom, children of poor villagers make a visit to our extended family on the day of Holi. They touch the feet of our elders putting abeer (gulal) and go back. I did not know about it and they caught me unaware.

I was just finishing my lunch when I noticed some noise at the door of our house. I saw children. Dozens, perhaps they were 50-100. All of them were small, from 3-7 years of range. They would not recognize who was whom, but they knew important people lived in this part of the village. They started putting abeer at the feet of my parents and once they noticed me, they also started coming at me. It was complete ruckus. I had never seen so many little kids together in my life. They were all also laughing, talking, playing within themselves. They were all happy. They competed and pushed each other to reach us. I did not feel I deserve their honor. I had not done anything for them to deserve it. But children won’t know. I noticed that the innocent children were not cutting any corners and made sure that they were putting abeer properly. One particular kid made my heart stop. He came, bent down completely, and put the abeer with so much care that I drowned in guilt. He reminded me of my son who would be only slightly older than him. He got same soft skin, same child like cuteness; perhaps all kids resemble each other in some ways. My heart stopped beating and I started feeling chocked. The kids returned like they had come – like a gush of wind!

I asked my mother and she told me that every year she used to keep coins and toffees for the kids; but this time she could not manage to collect in time for the occasion. That pained me more; since the children had returned empty handed.

After that incident, I have been collecting small coins in a small box for next year, if I can happen to be there again.

Whenever I remember the incident, I feel a bit overwhelmed with emotions and guilt. If there are goodness, purity and innocence in this world, those kids embodied all of those. Kids are called closer to God because of that reason.

I am not sure if I shall be able to see them many times in future, but perhaps I shall never forget them. This year’s Holi was special due to this reason. 

- Rahul Tiwary

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गैंगस्टर के साथी 

पिता को गम था बेटा उसकी क्यों नहीं सुनता 

बीवी को गम वो औरों जैसा क्यों न कम था 

बनाई क्यों उसने अपनी ऐसी अलग दुनिया 

भगवान ही जिसमें यम था 

माता नें कहा चढ़ा दो उसे फाँसी 

क्योंकि उन्हें अपनी गलती पर गम था 

ग्रामीण खूब नाचे, खुशियाँ मनायीं 

अब जो वह गया थम था 

किसी जर्नलिस्ट नें नहीं पूछा उसके बेटे से 

क्या तुम्हें भी कुछ गम था

समाज उसे मार कर अपनी गलतियाँ छिपा ले 

पर कहीं उनकी नियत में भी कुछ कम था 

क्यों बनते हैं विकास दूबे तुम्हारी दुनिया में 

या तुम जो इतने भले थे वह तुम्हारा भ्रम था 

अकेले कातिल नहीं बना करता कोई 

उसका साथ देने में कहाँ कोई शरम था  

उसके जीते जी तुमने निभाई दोस्ती 

मरने पर कहा उसका अपना करम था 

मारने से क्या सच्चाई छिप जाएगी

किया तुमनें भी जो अक्षम्य था 

~ राहुल तिवारी 

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बन्दूक 

बन्दूक नें बन्दूक को गोलियाँ मारीं 

तीन सीने में 

और एक उस हाथ पर 

जिसे बन्दूक ने थाम रखा था 

बन्दूक नें बन्दूक को गोलियाँ मारीं  

पूरा शरीर छलनी कर गिराया 

और फिर एक टाँग कुल्हाड़ी से काटी 

जिसे बन्दूक अपने साथ लेकर आया था 

बन्दूक ने कुछ छोटे बन्दूक भी मारे 

खेतों में भगा-भगा कर 

जिन खेतों में वो कभी 

गन्ने, मूली चुरा कर खाया करते  

पर इतने बन्दूक आए कहाँ से? 

कुछ गुलेल बड़े होकर बन्दूक बन गए थे 

कुछ कलम जिन्होंने हथियार लिखा था 

कुछ दातून जो तलवार बन गए 

कुछ अनाज के गोदाम गोला-बारूद से पट गए थे 

कुछ गमछे जो गिरफ्त बन गए थे 

कुछ झूले जो गर्दन की रस्सियाँ 

कुछ खुरपी-कुदाल जिन्होंने जान लेना सीख लिया था 

कुछ घर के आँगन जो बंकर बन कर छिप गए थे 

कब हुआ ये सब; हमने पहले क्यों नहीं देखा? 

जब हम मंदिर मस्जिद की जंग में 

दाढ़ी चुटिया या मूछों में 

घूँघट और जीन्स में फंसे थे 

या जब हम मकबूल फ़िदा हुसैन को क़तर छोड़ने गए थे 

जब हम नारों, वादों में लगे थे 

तिलक, तराजू और मिट्टी तेल में जंग छिड़ी थी 

जब हम काल्पनिक ड्रैगन्स का पीछा कर रहे थे 

या फिर तब, जब हमने पटाखों में प्रदूषण का आविष्कार किया था 

तब हमारे दिलों में सेंध लग रही थी 

दीमक हमारे ईमान खा रहे थे 

बेईमानी का जहर जब हमें कृत्रिम 

गंगा स्नान करा रहा था 

जब हम दवा की तरह मदिरापान रहे थे 

बच्चों को नानियाँ मोबाइल में वीडियो गेम खिलाने लगी थीं 

जब हमने बूढ़े पिता को ऑंखें दिखाना सीख लिया था 

और तब, जब माएँ स्त्री जाति का हिस्सा बन गयी थीं 

तब, जब हम कंकड़ के भाव हीरे बेच 

बचे पैसों को सट्टे में गवाँ रहे थे 

तब मेरे दोस्त, जब हमने नीम के पेड़ काटकर कैक्टस बोये 

और कांटें निकालने के लिए नौकर रख रहे थे 

हमने बन्दूक बोये, 

अब बन्दूक काट रहे हैं 

बन्दूक हमें बाँटकर

बंदूकों में से बन्दूक छाँट रहे हैं 

~ राहुल तिवारी 

..................................................................

कातिल 

कत्ल कर रहे कातिल कातिलों का 

और ताली बजाती आत्माएँ, 

जैसे मुक्त हुई हों 

मारे जा रहे मारने वाले 

मारने वाले मार रहे हैं,  

एक ही बात है

आतंक चाहे जिस रंग-रूप का हो 

खाकी हो या सफेद चेक टीशर्ट पहने 

लंगड़ाता हो या हकलाता, आतंक होता है 

बेहतर हैं वो भेड़िये 

जो भेड़िये की खाल में होते हैं 

वो नहीं जो असली दाँत छिपा लें, मुस्कान के पीछे 

उस कातिल ने कम से कम मंदिर की लाज रखी 

रोकर पछताया 

हमने मंदिर से उठाकर कातिल को भगवान बनाया 

अधर्म के ठेकेदार 

अब देश के बनेंगे 

लोगों पर ठप्पा लगेगा, और मार दिए जाएँगे 

और मासूम बच्चों के माथों पर लिख दिया जायेगा 

"तुम्हारा बाप चोर था"

पासपोर्ट की तौर पर काम आएगा

जब पुलिस कत्ल करेगी 

और बदमाश संसद जायेंगे 

कानून किताबों में पड़ा पड़ा थक जाएगा 

और आम इंसान करेगा, 

इज्जत की 

मौत का इंतजार 

- राहुल तिवारी

Ideas of Marriage: Of Hells and Heavens

He can be considered a typical Indian man. He grew up in a small town under a protective, large family. He had a happy childhood. He grew up to be an “idealistic” young man, which is perhaps common for those who have a happy childhood. By the time he completed his graduation, he started thinking about the natural subject of “marriage”.

When he thought about marriage, the first idea that came to his mind was “friendship”. This may sound cheeky, but it was not so for him. It was based on practicality for him. Every time he had changed classes, schools or cities, he had to make new friends. He never could enjoy long lasting friendships due to this reason. Hence, when he thought of marriage, he thought of an opportunity or privilege of having a “permanent friend”. He wanted to talk, discuss, share things, and have long walks with his wife. At this point, we can understand that when he thought of marriage, he unconsciously always thought of “happy marriage”.

Like it happens in typical traditional Indian families, he left the job of finding a partner for him on his parents. And they found a partner for him, based on their understanding of who was suitable for him. And it turned out to be a total disaster.

Initially, he could not understand what was going wrong. His spouse would behave and react differently. She would pickup fights on silliest of things. Many times, suddenly, she would start criticizing and talking bad things about his parents, sisters and family. He thought it was just a difference in temperament. But with time, he kept getting more confused, because a lot of behavior seemed to be “deliberate”. He remembers the first time he “cried” after getting married. His wife started saying nasty things about his mother and he could not stop her with reason, arguments, or anything. He felt helpless. He could not understand her. His dilemma was because fundamentally he considered her as his family; and a family member is not supposed to hurt us or speak nasty things against us. He had never seen such a person before, forget about such a “family member”. She did not sound like a family member, she did not behave like a family member, and she did not act like a family member. He had never interacted with such a person before and he did not even know that people with such thinking and behavior existed in society. He felt overpowered with emotions and cried. And that was just the first time he cried. His suffering went on over many years.

He tried all his natural responses. He tried to persuade and calm her down by being gently and it failed. He became angry and argued with her and that also failed. Nothing seemed to work. And her behavior and pattern kept getting worse.

Fast forward a few years. By this time, he read about this subject and became more aware. He got to realize that this was a case of “emotional abuse”. In his protected childhood and upbringing under a friendly environment, he did not know that people were able to emotionally abuse others in this manner. And abusing family members was behind his imagination.

He tried to get out of the situation, but he could not. He felt trapped. And the emotional abuses kept getting worse. At one time, he started thinking about ending his life. Yes, the ambitious, idealistic young man who wanted to do great things in his life for himself and for society; who took great interest in spiritualism and religion, that man pondered about life “if it was worth it”. Having thought about it for some time, he stopped. When you imagine the worst, it can only go better. When he saw the end of the world, the daily routine looked more tolerable to him. He decided to hang on until he could.

There are some important messages in this.

When most of us think of “marriage”, we think of only “happy marriage”. We never factor in the prospect of a “bad marriage”. We are not equipped to handle “bad marriage” scenario.

Our families never prepare us to face a “bad marriage” scenario. Our society does not encourage us to even talk about this subject, forget about doing something about it. Our laws are designed to help survive “bad marriage” scenario by keeping the “patients” on “ventilator”. And it is a sad situation.

The most important lesson is that we need to be prepared to face “bad marriage” scenarios. Our society need not try to hide it under the carpet. Life is not a bed of roses. If we are prepared to see life in more practical manner, our decisions would be more practical, and we shall be in a better situation to handle our life. We need to tell our children that bad people exist, evil people exist, and abusive people exist. We need to be prepared to face the worse. Our society as well as laws are designed to prioritize “survival” over “success” of marriage. We need to change that; since our world has changed.

At the same time, we should assess our situation and not take things for granted any more. If you have got a “tolerable” spouse or a tolerable marriage, you are in much better situation. If you have got a caring spouse, you are lucky. And if you have got a spouse who loves you, you are one in a thousand. And then, you need to give back to him or her. If your spouse loves you, never take him/her for granted. He/she needs it as much as you do. So, give back.

Bad marriage scenarios make us humble. We are able to see things which others can’t. We are able to suffer in ways others can’t. We are also able to find relief in ways others can’t. If human life is a miracle, surviving bad marriages is super natural in a way. So, be proud of it.

No one knows what life has in store for us. Ups and downs are part of life. We can never control all aspects of our life. But still, a lot of things are in our control. We can control how we behave. And that will mean a lot to someone else. We may be suffering or may be having a great time; but we should think of how it is impacting others around us. We should try our best not to hurt others.

From long back, I remember the “Gtalk status” of a friend which she had put immediately after her marriage. She had written something like, “there is nothing as wonderful and enjoyable as a happy marriage”. I have never forgotten that. Because I can understand its value. Do you?

- Rahul Tiwary