Happy Rakhi

Someone sent me this message: "I am Rakhee how you you?" (her name changed :). I thought there was some grammatical error! Now I know there was none! And I am loving it, when I say: "I have 7 Rakhees, how are you?" :)

From the childhood, the more number of Rakhees we had, the luckier we were. And those who didn't have sisters were really unlucky ones :) I have seen aunts with only two sons, longing so much for a daughter. Rakhee has been the day, when friends show off: I have 7 Rakhees, how many have you got? I too want to show off, so I repeat this again and again: I have 7 Rakhees today, how are you? :) It was also Rakhee, which always kept sisters richer than us. But Goddess of wealth is a lady anyhow, so we never complained.

And today, I hear a new story about my sister's kiddo: At 2+ of age, he has got a girlfriend in his class! (play school) One day, sister asked: Did Vrinda come to class today? He said: "Lekin bahut door baithi thee" (But she sat very far away ") And some days back when they celebrated Rakhee in school, he took chocolate for her and she came in a new dress to tie a Rakhee to him :)

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I saw this message yesterday. I think it was meant to be shared today only! I agree with all points, except the brother-sister fights. I think brother-sister fights in the childhood are a way of learning and growing up too. In such situations, the only thing the parents have to take care about is to be just in their decisions/settlements of fights irrespective of the gender. How do you like this? :

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Don’t let your son grow up to be a male chauvinist. Teach him to respect women as equals, so he grows up into a fine young man who will do you proud.

1. Teach your son that he should never, ever strike a girl, no matter what the provocation. If he has a sister who he constantly fights with and they regularly exchange blows, he may not easily grasp the concept that boys don’t hit girls. However, as your children grow, they will outgrow the phase of fistfights, so it is important that you inculcate this value in him.

2. Teach your son to question sexism by teaching him to respect his sister as his equal. By doing this, you will be teaching him to respect all women as equals.

3. Make sure your son contributes equally in the household chores. If your daughter lays the table, your son can clear it after the meal. Chores should be rotated, so no child feels that they’ve got the raw end of the deal.

4. Don’t expect your daughter to serve your son, or your son will expect the same of his wife. And if she does not meet his expectations, there will be marital discord. Similarly, teach your daughter to respect herself and her gender by not asking her to iron your son’s clothes, or to prepare lunch for him when you or your cook are not available. They can order food from out, or the two off them can scramble some eggs together.

5. Teach your son cooking. Most chefs are men, and many of the world’s best cooks are men. You will be doing him a service, not a disservice, by teaching him how to cook. If he’s got a sweet tooth, start off by teaching him how to bake a cake and take it from there. There’s nothing effeminate about entering the kitchen. Some of the most macho men I know love to cook, so break out of this old school of thought. You could start off by asking him to watch you bake a cake, and to help you out by whipping the eggs, passing you the sugar, etc. Get him involved, and his interest will rise.

6. Teach your son chess, teach him how to use a computer or teach him a subject at school. Don’t expect only your husband to teach him things that require him to use his brains. If you teach him how to, say, use a computer, his respect for you, and consequently, his respect for women, will increase tremendously. The fact that you may be a stay-at-home mother has nothing to do with it. If your son sees you as intelligent, you’ve done very well! But if he thinks that ‘only papa is intelligent’ or ‘boys are much cleverer than girls’, you’ve got some serious catching up to do.

7. Be a good role model for your child as a father. Respect your wife, and respect her opinions. Avoid cracking sexist jokes with your son, and if you do, make sure that your son knows that they are just jokes. Seek your wife’s opinion. As a mother, strengthen your child’s opinion of you by not nagging your husband constantly in front of your child, by not losing control of yourself or your emotions in front of the children, and by appearing strong and balanced in their eyes.

Happy Rakhee to all of you!

© Rahul