The Wine Shop

I was sitting in a restaurant waiting for my order to be served. Just in front of it was a buzzing road. And on the other side of the road there was a wine shop. I gave it a look and also noticed that it was very busy with business. Many people came in after stopping their vehicles by the side of the road. They went away with a package or black polythene bag in their hand. It was an afternoon and it seemed the shop did a very good business. It was also because it was on the main road and in a very populated area. Next moment, I saw a couple walking in there. They were a young couple, the man was in his shorts and the lady seemed to be from the North Eastern part of India. They went in holding hands of each other and also walked out after few minutes in the same manner. I didn’t feel nice – it seemed to me that today wine and alcohol had entered into people’s daily life like never before. And such shops which made alcohol easily available – near their homes and anytime they wished – also contributed to their drinking habits. But then I tried to control my thoughts. Some drinkers would be young but they had the freedom to decide what was good and what was bad for their lives. I tended to be too idealistic and moralistic too – and hence I convinced me that may be it was I who was seeing too much into the whole thing. I didn’t drink; it didn’t mean no one should drink. Gradually, I let the thoughts fly away and started having my food. Just before I was to leave after finishing the meal, I watched something that disturbed me.

A father stopped his motorbike by the side of the road. He had a three year old baby girl in his lap. He carried her in his lap and entered into the wine shop. Few minutes later, he came back with a black polythene bag in his one hand. And his baby daughter in the other. The scene made me uncomfortable.

Agreed, that the young or otherwise parents had the freedom to enjoy their lives by drinking as and when they liked. But while doing so, were not they also bringing alcohol in the lives of their children? I didn’t know if they drank while hiding from their children; but one day the children would definitely know their habit. I had no idea how the parents would behave with the young children while in drunken state. But the whole picture revolving in front of my eyes – after seeing the father leaving the wine shop with his baby daughter in his lap – was not at all nice…

Does someone from the governments keep a tab on the number of wine shops and their vicinity with densely populated areas? Do they have any mechanism to prevent young children from getting exposed to others’ drinking habits and alcoholism from very early age? I don’t think so.

Then are not we doing something wrong somewhere?

- Rahul

The Drawing Competition

Our office celebrated the Republic Day one day before actual 26th of January. Many games and events were carried out for us in the office. A part of the contests was a drawing competition. All of us made drawings on any of the three themes given to us. The idea was to take us back to our childhood days when we took part in similar competitions and won prizes. Colleagues used pencil, sketch pens and crayon – or whatever they got. At the end of the day, all the drawings were put on the wall and three best drawings got prizes.

If one gave one look at the drawings, one would not be able to correctly guess the actual age of the artists. All drawings looked like those made by children in the age group of 10-15. Even the selection of themes in general was like those of the children, barring a few exceptions. The picture elements – the huts, the river and mountains, as well as the use of colours, and the art in general – all were exactly like those from the juvenile. Noting that, I made an interesting observation.

When we grow up; its not that each aspect of our personality grows up in the same proportion. That is why children are better than the grownups in many respects. And that is why all of us still remain kids, no matter how old we become. The Drawing competition painted this clear message for us.

- Rahul

My Ring

I used to wear a slim silver ring which had a pearl at its centre. I had been wearing it for around 15 years. After some years of use, it used to get loose and I would get it fixed by the silversmiths. In my hometown they would charge me only Rs 10 for the job. They would heat a pair of metallic tongs and press the metal around the stone, thereby fixing it.

I needed to get the same job done while I was in Mumbai. But I found no jewellery shop agreeing to do the job! And to my horror, they criticized me and had a ‘you are so cheap’ look in their eyes when they saw me wearing this ‘light’ and ‘thin’ ring! One after the other all jewellers offered to help me only if I agreed to get some more metal and get the ring remade as a heavier one. That would make them earn some hundreds of rupees and I would get a big heavy ring. I didn’t like the idea as it would give me flashy jewellery and was costly too, but I had no choice. If I didn’t agree with them, I would have to bear with wearing a loose ring which had the risk of the stone getting out and losing itself. Ultimately I agreed to their design.

Just some weeks afterwards, I felt an itch in my little finger with ring. I took out the ring and was shocked to see the skin below it. The skin was swollen, pinkish and very different! I removed the ring for some time and it became alright. I wore the ring again and faced the same problem! Water would go inside the ring and since the ring was too bulky and big, it would keep some water beneath – resulting in skin becoming wet and swollen. I got the ring enlarged a bit but now it became more uncomfortable to wear because of its weight. After hanging on with it for some more weeks, I permanently removed the ring. I lost my dear ring and the white pearl – the ring that had witnessed ‘life’ with me.

I realised that I had made a wrong decision by agreeing with the money-minded jewellers. My earlier ring was thin, light and comfortable. It was unnecessary to use a ‘big’ and ‘heavy’ ring. The jeweller gained by making a heavy and big ring for me, but I lost.

‘Less’ doesn’t necessarily mean ‘scarce’. We should be careful, because businessmen’s lust for money is creating an environment which doesn’t support those who are ‘content with less’. My dear ring gave me this message. I will try to get another thin and light ring made for me and will be content with it.

- Rahul

Lesson from illness

I had developed a boil on the skin of my leg. Within some days, it grew big and became painful. I consulted a doctor and started medication, but for initial days there was no respite. I had decided not to buy the pain-killer as was prescribed due to fear of side reactions. The boil was in no mood to give me any peace; and it pained all the day. Some puss came out initially; later on blood was all that I saw around. I didn’t tell anyone in the office about my illness. It was business as usual for others; but for me it was as if I saw every moment passing by.

I was in a meeting and we were discussing things. I was as usual at exterior and no one knew what pain I felt within. Suddenly it occurred to me if I could be sure that I was the only one in such a situation?

Everyday, we meet and interact with dozens of people. Some of them would be friendly, some others not so much. Some would be courteous, some others a bit rude. But many of them would be in a similar situation as I was in at the moment. May be, many of them would also be suffering from some illness which they won’t have told us about. Many others would have some problems and worries in their minds, which we would never know. Therefore, if we don’t find someone at his/her best or courteous enough, we should not judge one at sight.

We can’t see the whole truth. We can’t see what lies behind a face. Therefore, we should not conclude.

- Rahul

Fallen

One day, our office was converted into a Comedy Circus because someone fell down! But there was a very useful lesson in the end…

The time was just before lunch. There was a new person who was working since morning in a glass chamber near my cubicle. I had recently joined the company and didn’t know who he was. Just before lunch, there was a huge commotion near his cabin. When I went there, I found a group of people looking down at a point on the floor. I went in and saw it was the same gentleman, fallen down flat and apparently unconscious! I guessed a heart attack and asked to contact the control room for help. Suddenly, the peon entered the scene in haste and banged his head on the glass door – he had missed to see the transparent but visible door despite crossing it every day! It was a loud big-bang which later left its mark on his face in the form of a big swelling on the forehead. By this time people had made a discovery – there as a moveable chair which was lying broken!

Moving ahead, colleagues helped the fallen man on his feet. The man was huge – obese to be honest - and in his 50s. His age should generate some sympathy, if his situation was not enough to. The first thing he did after getting up was to say, “I have fallen like this (breaking a chair) for the first time in my life!” His statement appeared to be an explanation in the light of his weight! The high drama continued. He started sobbing, at the apparent ‘insult’ of having fallen down flat breaking a strong chair! Someone proposed and others obeyed – he was given a ‘pain-killer’ tablet. Someone else made the pantry-guy console him with two gulab-jamuns! It was not enough. People from other floors and divisions started pouring in to see the ‘accident’ scene by their own eyes! (People now days have perhaps lost either trust or patience or may be both!)

When I went for the lunch, another colleague asked me, “Rahul, why did you made the guy fell down”? I smiled and said I had done nothing (even nothing to help him). Next, I heard a huge laughter from another corner. Someone had asked another colleague the same question and he had replied with, “Gire hue ko kaun girayega?” (Who will make a ‘fallen-guy’ fall?) I couldn’t understand the joke! But the laughter it had generated had made me amused! How could they laugh at the poor fallen-guy in his mid-50s? I couldn’t understand it! Until it was close of office hours, when I got to know who the fallen-guy was.

The guy worked (for too many years) in the administration department and was a devil in the eyes of the employees for his unaccommodating nature. He would often harass them for small mistakes and would not try even a bit to help them. He enjoyed his position as a matter of prestige and since he was in admin he got too many opportunities to throw his weight around. It was because of this reason that no one really felt bad for him when he had fallen down. And hence the joke, “Who can make a ‘fallen-guy’ fell down”?

His ego of being ‘higher’ than the rest resulted in him getting into such an insulting ‘fallen’ position!

- Rahul

Instant Karma

Jaisa Karoge – Waisa Bharoge: As you sow so will you reap. All of us have heard this saying. Some days back I saw it happening in front of my eyes.

I was travelling to a locality which was not known to me, in an auto-rickshaw. To my surprise that auto-driver was highly uncooperative (as an exception to the extremely helpful Mumbai auto-wallahs). He was rude, non-responsive to queries and even pretended to be in half-sleep. Before getting into his rickshaw I had asked him about the place and he had nodded in affirmation. But after reaching nearby that place he showed complete ignorance to the place and the lanes. I needed to stop him and get down many times to ask for a proper way to reach. I was angry at his apathy and laziness. It was then that a traffic-policeman stopped him and took him away. When he returned back he told that he had crossed a red light in haste and hence was panelised with a bribe of Rs 100.

Reaching nearby my destination, I got down and left after paying him the basic fare. He complained about his loss of revenues due to the penalty – apparently hoping that I would help him with some tip. After having that kind of experience with him, the tip was hard to come by.

His lazy and inattentive attitude not only resulted in him getting penalised by a fine, but it also put me off to help him in anyway. Indeed that was an example of Instant Karma in action

- Rahul

Greed

How negative attitudes like greed are self-defeating can be seen in one of my recent experiences.

One of my friends was stuck up in his job and was eagerly looking out for a change. I helped him with fixing an interview with one of my previous employers. I was sure that he would get through and I assured him of a positive result in order to boost him up. Now when this guy saw something coming up to him, he showed some hidden traits. First, he increased his ‘expected salary’ to a level to match ‘my’ own present salary (perhaps showing envy to me). While doing this, he forgot that his educational/professional credentials never matched mine and hence his expectation was unjustified. Secondly, he cooked up his present salary to a very high level in order to justify the demanded jump. When I heard what he salary he had demanded in the interview, I was disappointed because I knew the company could never afford this salary for the open position. The result: even after renegotiating for several months, he didn’t get selected. And he has not got any further opportunities so far. The lost opportunity costed him dearly, and he was left in a frustrating condition. And after this experience I too would never help him again.

If only he could have been realistic – which was possible only if he didn’t possess greed – today he would be in a much contented position.

- Rahul

Roomie and Doggies

One of my ex-roommates told me a story about his leg injury:

One fine morning he was walking by the side of the road. Suddenly trouble arrived on wheels and on four legs. When he turned back, he watched in horror a motorbike zooming past him with a pack of dogs chasing it at full speed. Before he could understand anything, the bike had gone past and one of the dogs had run from in between his legs! Yes, while all dogs ran past him, one dog couldn’t wait to move sideways and found his path between his legs! My friend was stunned and paralysed, still not realising what had happened and he fell down on the road, hitting his leg badly. The drama didn’t end here!

As the dogs realised that this guy had fallen down; and perhaps also because the motorbike had vanished by the time; they returned back. They came near to the guy who was on ground, suffering in pain. The dogs started weeping (this was his guess), making a sound of mee-mee… He was conscious enough to recognise the dog which was the ‘one’ who had passed in between his legs and this dog was the most humble with wet eyes, as if showing sympathy and repenting what he had done! By this time, some people came and sent him off to a hospital.

When I heard this story which was funny indeed, I started laughing uncontrolled. My poor friend asked me not to laugh at him, though accepting that everyone so far who had heard this story had laughed without exception. Who won’t laugh at this funny incident? But the friend tells the bottom-line of the story: that day he realised how animals like dogs have also got sentiments and feelings of pain and sympathy for others! (I would add other ‘creatures’!)

This is called a humble learning gained at a costly expense!

- Rahul

Celebrity Worship and Our Attitude

When we were kids and we did something great '" like doing well in exams or winning a prize '" we would naturally like to show our achievements to all. We would love if people came to know how brilliant we were and if they patted us on the back. Not that we got many such opportunities. The reason was not that we were not brilliant, but our parents didn't allow us such appreciation. An achievement should be hidden '" may be not to make others envious of us; and children should not be praised much '" may be to prevent us from becoming proud and flattered '" this faculty got embedded in our psyche. Now I realize how good our parents were at what they did; or didn't do. I see it in the life of Tiger Woods and his parents.
.
I read a report which says that on December 25th, 2009, there were at least 14 women with whom world # 1 golfer Tiger Woods had had an extra-marital affair. With him going deep into ever-appearing sex-scandals; no one wants to idolize him anymore. Accenture has broken their sponsorship with him; and so have many other companies which were using him as brand ambassadors till now.
.
Tiger Woods was a child prodigy. He started playing golf from the age of 2. No doubt, he reached the top and personified excellence in the golf grounds. Tiger Wood’s parents have been very proud of him. But even without my parent's standards it seems their pride in 'him' broke all boundaries:
.
“Tiger will do more than any other man in history to change the course of humanity. ' He is the Chosen One. He’ll have the power to impact nations. Not people. Nations.” '" Earl Woods, Tiger Wood’s father.
.
“Tiger has Thai, African, Chinese, American Indian, and European blood. He can hold everyone together. He is the Universal Child.” '" Kultida Woods, Tiger Wood’s mother.
.
Today, I wonder if Earl or Kultida Woods would stand by their words. I wonder how they celebrated Tiger Wood’s birthday just yesterday (Dec 30th)?
.
Earl Woods was of mixed African American, Chinese and Native American ancestry. Kultida Woods is of mixed Thai, Chinese, and Dutch ancestry. Tiger Woods refers to his ethnic make-up as 'CaBlInAsian' (CAucasian, BLack, (American) INdian, and ASIAN). Did his 'genes' and ancestry give him some advantage? Apparently, this is what his father and mother thought! Still, if we accept their logic - that he having blood from various ancestries and races would unify all nations and would do 'more' than any other man in history - then we would also have to accept that in this way he would inherit the 'negatives' too! Isn't it so? Then did he get his spiritual void - which needed several women and lot of sex to fill with - all because of his 'lack of stability' '" stemming from his mixed genes and confused inheritance? I wish we don’t believe in this theory! I wish we call his parent’s proud statements as their merely emotional outpouring…
.
But the problem is: until such Tigers show their real face, we tend to accept all the theories going around them. As it happens in Bollywood movies, the evildoer gets punished only at the end of the story! Before that, the heroes struggle and the villains eat drink and enjoy. So this brings me to one very nice thought: 'What we see may not be the truth.'
.
What do we do then? Should we stop idolizing anyone? Should we stop being fans of celebrities like Michael Jackson (whom we find one day accused of paedophilia)? Should we stop supporting sportsmen whom we all love to connect with? What will be a life without a Sachin Tendulkar, Diego Maradona and … (Barack Obama) - the superstars in our eyes?
.
I think the answer can be more tilted towards yes, rather than a no. Why do we ‘idolize’ personalities? Is it because somewhere we are trying to hide our own ‘mediocrity’ by clouding us with the celebrity worship? Does celebrity worship give us a momentary false sense of high that we need to get out of mundane days and nights which we keep ploughing through? I think the answer is close to yes.
.
I have a strong feeling that we should not idolize anyone. Because when we idolize someone ‘else’, we in a way abuse our own ’self’. Hindu philosophy would say that all of us have the same God inside us (and hence no one is greater or lower). Even if someone’s self is more awakened than ours it doesn’t mean we are ’small’ in comparison. Self development is only matter of time. Also, we should avoid trying to find solace outside in ‘external’ sources. Idolizing personalities and celebrities is a sure way of getting motivation and ‘feel good’ because of ‘external’ sources. Such external sources will change or digress one day and we may be left with a deepened void.
.
Just like we know the phrase “Hate the crime, not the criminal”, I think we should also keep this attitude of “Appreciate the deed, not the doer”. Appreciating the doer fulfills one's ego and makes him/her proud. Appreciating his deed inspires others to “do like him” rather than “be like him”. There is a vast difference between the two.
.
I think it is the Kali Yuga when no “absolute goodness” and no “absolute evil” would exist. Since we can’t change or even affect the celebrities and personalities we idolize, we should keep this attitude of aloofness and personal-detachment from them. Otherwise, if someone grew up being a fan of some exceptional performer and this idol turns out to be the face of evil at the end of his/her life, it would be a psychological disaster.
.
Let us make the spirit of 'doing good' immortal. Doers may come and go. So the talent of Tiger Woods will be remembered; yet Tiger Woods won't be idolized. The 'sportsman' inside Tiger Woods will be praised; yet the 'man' inside him would be detested. If this was the message that Tiger Wood's life was to give to all of us '" I am happy even with his revelations.
.
- Rahul