Lone Musketeer

 

On my way to the office, I noticed a young boy, around 8 to 10 years old, standing by the roadside, signaling to passing motorcyclists for a lift. I saw several bikes ahead of me ignore him, so when I approached, I decided to stop. The boy looked at me, seeking confirmation, and I nodded to let him know he could hop on.

But what happened next took me by surprise. Instead of getting on, he walked away and returned with a large sack filled with empty glass bottles—beer bottles, to be precise. It appeared he had been collecting them from the roadside along the highway. I had seen similar bottles scattered on the footpaths, likely left behind by people who drank there at night.

The boy struggled to lift the heavy sack, and I immediately told him that I couldn’t give him a ride with that load. Then I continued on my way.

For a while, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Was he a ragpicker? Or had he just started trying to earn money this way? Maybe he had done this before and was hoping someone would help him again. Or perhaps he was simply a resourceful child, finding creative ways to make a living.

The encounter made me reflect on the reality that we live in a world filled with “parallel lives”—realities that exist around us but often go unnoticed.

- Rahul Tiwary

Pictures: A Bird Story

- Rahul 

A Pigeon At the Window

 

I noticed some activity at one of my bedroom window and when I went to check, I found out that a pigeon was trying to settle down in the gap between the window pan and iron grill, perhaps to assemble a next and lay eggs. I made sound to scare it away. The bird was back after a few minutes and hence I scared it away once again. This went for 4-5 times in next 10 minutes.

After a while, I felt a bit guilty for scaring away the pigeon. I noticed that I was not feeling bad about what I was doing, i.e. scaring away the pigeon at the time of its need. In my subconscious mind, I tried to find out why was not feeling sympathy of kindness for the bird. I realized that it was mainly because of the articles I have read which have convinced me that pigeons are bad for cities, are not real birds, these do not live on trees like other birds, produce lots of waste and spread several disease. In short, the knowledge acquired from reading had taught me to feel indifferent towards pigeons, if not outright hate those.

Although I understood where my behaviour was coming from, I could also recall the past incidents where I was sensitive towards pigeons, and I had even written few blog posts about those episodes. I wondered if remaining a bit naïve makes us enjoy life better. Knowing objective information about all things sometimes kills the fun which comes from a bit of lack of knowledge.

Well, one of the tragedies of growing up is loss of innocence.

- Rahul

'Papa Takle Ho Gaye'

 

Picture credit

There is a neighborhood kid of about 6 who used to play with me a lot. He was visiting our home after a few weeks. I had recently colored my hair, hence I showed it to him and asked him how did my grey hair turn into total black? He did not reply. After repeating the question and making him recall how my hair had lots of whites earlier, he finally said that he did not know how it turned back. I realized that he had not noticed my hair; whether grey or white! It reminded me of another incident.

My kids were seeing me after a long gap. My daughter was about 3.5. I went to get a hair cut and as soon as I returned home, she came, noticed me, and said, “Papa takle ho gaye”, pointing to my short hair! She had not only noticed that I had a haircut, but she had also noticed that I had short hair now! Plus, she thought to share her observation with me. I was really impressed with her intelligence as well as thoughtfulness. And somewhere, it was also got to do with gender. My son did not notice my haircut at all!

At any given age, we can notice in small children that most of the times girls are cleverer than boys. Their minds work in slightly different manner than boys. We can notice the differences in the way they choose toys or express themselves. Now, imagine a society which tries to raise boys and girls in the same manner! Will that be called feminism? By all means, it will cause harm to both boys and girls. We need not force our gender-righteousness on our kids. Let girls be ‘girly’ and boys be like ‘boys’ if their natural inclinations are showing in that manner. Let us not force them to behave and be the “same”.

Thoughts triggered by the kind of news media outlets expose to me these days.

- Rahul Tiwary

#Picture: Little Boys Watch Cartoon

This picture is from a tea shop near my office. The shopkeeper and his wife run the shop preparing tea, pakoda and other snack items; while their kids watch TV. Their TV is an LCD TV with big screen (at least 32 inches). Perhaps not satisfied with the sound volume because of noise by customers and the surrounding, they have even installed a sound system which you can see in above picture on the left hand side of the TV. The brand of the sound system is Sony. 

This picture is from the first days I had gone there. The boys were watching Motu & Patlu cartoon. The other day I went there, they were watching some 'item songs' of latest movies; in full volume. The volume was deafening and then their mother came near the TV and I guessed she would reduce the volume a bit. But to my surprise, she adjusted the direction of speakers in order to make it even better. This family must be a Bollywood fan! But I kept wondering if the transition from Motu Patlu cartoons to the latest Bollywood dance numbers has been for good or for bad. Most probably, it was just a mood-changer for them. I plan to notice their channel of choice next time around, in order to conclude finally. :) 

- Rahul Tiwary

#Photos: ऑफिस परिसर में गौरैया

ऑफिस परिसर में हर सुबह गौरैयों का एक झुंड दिखाई देता है। छोटी गौरैया जमीन पर फुदकती हुई जब गरदन ऊपर कर के देखती है तो ऐसा लगता है जैसे एक छोटा बच्चा जमीन पर माँ होकर चलता हुआ थक कर बैठ गया हो और गरदन ऊपर उठाए देख रहा हो…

#Moment: The Kid

While returning from office, as I started on the footover bridge, I noticed that a small kid and its grandfather were just getting to sit down on the top most of the stair-case. It seemed they were going to sit on the topmost stair of the footover bridge and watch people go by and also the vehicles go under the bridge. It might be their favourite past time at this hour. But in that moment I also noticed that the kid was looking at me.

When I reached the top of the staircase and tried to pass by, the kid who appeared to be a baby girl, got up and started looking up at me as if she was expecting me to pull her up in my arms! Perhaps I reminded her of someone she was fond of. Her grandfather also realized what she was trying to do and immediately started telling her “bye bye”. Mechanically the baby raised her arm and started waving “bye bye” to me which I reciprocated by smiling back at her and waving her “bye bye”.

As I went away, I noticed how touched I was by the pure innocence of the kid and how eagerly I wanted to be able to hug the baby... 

- Rahul

#Personal: Some Wandering Thoughts

I was born and brought up in Bihar. So obviously I loved it and I can relate to a lot of stuff related to Bihar. I feel differently about things related to Bihar; as compared to how other people understand and decipher Biharis. 

Then for one year I lived in Lucknow ('98-'99). I really appreciate their language and culture; which is much 'refined'. Even now I 'feel' something whenever some stuff related to Lucknow/UP comes up. I very fondly and clearly remember the dabbawala who delivered food while I studied there; and all the guys; people and places around. 

Then I went to Bengal for engineering and stayed there for 4 years (2000-04). I really loved their culture as well and felt people-to-people connect which naturally happens if you are at a place for long. Even now sometimes when I catch a Bengali movie on DD Bangla; I watch it completely. There is something 'magical' in Bangla and Bengalis. 

Then I stayed for 2 years in Chhattisgarh due to my first job (04-06). I really liked how happily and peacefully people lived there. I much appreciated the simplicity of people and 'spirit of life' there. 

Then I came to Maharashtra (2006) and after working for 1 year in Thane, I joined MBA in Mumbai. Staying for 4 years in Mumbai, I really loved the big buzzing city and had got fully aligned with its fast lifestyle. I thought I would stay there forever. Then I went to Pune in 2010 as I joined Infosys and stayed there for 6 years. With 10 years in Maharashtra I was in awe of everything - their history, life and essence of religion and culture. 

Then I arrived in Delhi/Noida in 2016. Before coming here, I never really liked it. Summer was too hot and winters were too cold. To top it, there were stories of crime all around. After living here I saw summer meant water-melons, kulfis, and chhach/lassi. Winter meant delicious food, fresh vegetables, til ke laddoos and tasty gazaks. And everyone spoke Hindi. I never dreamed I would love Delhi some day; which I am totally into now. 

I remember, even after switching 2/3 places, I had realized that I loved everyplace I went. In fact when I had stayed in Denmark for 1 month, just after 10 days I had started feeling so 'at home' that a colleague in office remarked about it. I used to walk by a big Danish Castle daily and it used to remind me of the college building near our childhood home at hometown. Is it normal to feel comfortable where ever different places you go? 

I think it is possible because ultimately all people are humans and all places are on the same earth. Degree of their differences may vary but from inside they are 'more same than different'. Every place has something nice about it. From outside we cannot understand or know the place very well and hence would make different opinions about the places. But once inside, we may start seeing similarities and start appreciating good things about it; and hence would start loving the new place as well. That helps getting 'settled down' at new places. 

- Rahul 

[#Personal] Looking Images!

You might have felt it too. It happens many times with us when somehow our thoughts are fixated about someone and we happen to see that person’s image in some unrelated person or thing. For example, as soon as I saw the picture of this little bird, what came to my mind? Image of my baby daughter!

Then I realized that the bird is looking a bit sad. So why should my daughter be sad? Because she is not with me and wants me to pick her up!

- Rahul

[Smiley] Respect!

Today as soon as I took a turn in our lane on my bike, I found a small boy on his small bicycle talking to two little girls in their little frocks at the middle of the road. Now, as the small boy saw me approaching, he immediately paused his conversation, got off his bicycle, dragged it to the side of the lane and then raised his face to look at me so sincerely, as if expecting some reaction on my face.

I don't know if he did so because of good education given by his parents, or if he had learnt its importance after having a bad experience with some dare-devil speeding bikers. Whatever be the reason behind his gesture, it was so heart-warming!

I mean, honestly I have not received such kind of 'respect' in ages!

- Rahul 

Dear Brother's Wedding!

In the beginning of my childhood we lived as a joint family and hence bonding between members was too strong. We cousins, brothers and sisters grew up together. There is one special cousin about whom I want to write today.

I was one year older than him but we were always good 'friends' rather than elder brother and younger brother. Even our pet-names 'rhymed' together. People often took our names in one breath. We were so much together than once in childhood when I dreamed and saw myself as 'Prince Rama', I naturally saw him as 'Lakshmana' in my dream. Our natures complemented each other. I was shy and reserved while he was outgoing and bold. Therefore I cherish so many memories which may sound childish to you but are so special to me. I recollect two of these below.

Once in childhood I had been to a relative's place for the first time where he had been before. We were playing and I felt the need to pee. Being a shy boy I tried to control the urge until possible. But in the end it felt uncontrollable. I could not find courage to tell any other boy and ask where the toilet was. So I asked him and you know what he did? He quit the game then and there, and took me to a long way to the toilet. This may sound a small incident to you but I knew it mattered a lot to me. I still have very clear picture of walking with him in my mind. In the house celebrating a marriage, once he took me to a secret room where sweets were stored and we had big-big rosogullas! I can never forget it.

He was a very naughty child and always so bold, unlike me. One scene is frozen in my mind. Till UKG, I used to go to a school near to our home. One afternoon as the school ended, I saw him having arrived at my school riding our small kid's tricycle! The tricycle had a rider's seat and a pillion seat and he had brought the small tricycle so as to bring me back from school! I could never have dreamed to be able to do something so cute. Having done this, my dear brother was my 'hero'! I still have very clear picture of this special day.

Today, my this younger brother is going to get married! I wish you all the very best! You have been special to me, and you are still so very dear and wonderful like you were in childhood. My best wishes and love! May your new phase of life be filled with happiness and great joy always!

- Rahul

Mother Cat

A cat in our neighborhood started crying and moving around restlessly some days back. Cats do that when they don't find any of their babies at their expected place. When cats cry in this manner, their voice resembles human voice and it is heart-wrenching to hear. But this cat continued doing that daily; never giving up; and we wondered what the matter was. Yesterday we got to know what had happened. 

One of the houses in the neighborhood had picked one of her babies to keep it as "pet". When cat was restless and crying, a man from the house brought the kitten in his hands to show it to the mother cat. This is typically a "human" behavior. Was the man expecting that when mother cat would realize that her baby was in "safe hands", she would stop pursuing it? Cats have not learned such evolved human tendencies and she still cries every evening; waiting to get her baby back... 

I think our "humanity" is overrated.

- Rahul Tiwary

Lesson from Kids Yoga

When we were kids and did too much masti, sometimes mother would pull us (me and elder sis) up; mount us on the dining table (so that we could not escape); and give us a challenge (which was another trap) - sit still, close your eyes and for 10 minutes think only about Lord Ram, Sita ji and Hanuman ji with no other thought in mind... We tried but never succeeded - we were surprised why it did not work out - why we always had some other thought cropping up our mind - why we did not have that self control! We would ask mother why we could not do it - but mother would only smile and say two words - "try again". I think the idea was that even if we did not succeed but if kept trying, at least during that time we should be calm and rested...

I think that is a key to many things - keep trying; even if you don't succeed fully, at least during the time you are trying you are much better than otherwise!

Who moves the train?

We were on a train journey and our co-passenger next berth was a super-cool uber-curious kid who kept asking questions. Once he looked outside the window, felt the train running, and asked, "how does the train move?" I thought to play game; to give him a stupid but logical answer which he could understand... So I said, "There are big elephants at the front of the train who are pulling the train and running fast..." To my relief, the kid bought the answer. He was satisfied and went to sleep.

He woke after an hour or two. As soon as he opened his eyes, he saw outside and realized that the train was still. And he exclaimed, "The elephants have stopped!!!" That was so cool - instead of saying "the train has stopped", he more appropriately said, "the elephants have stopped!"... I felt guilty of misleading this super-intelligent kid.

May be one day when he grows up a bit and knows how trains move, he would say, "that uncle on the train was so stupid to think elephants move the train!" :)

Different Worlds

Keep pressing remote control's buttons and each TV channel shows a different world. Similarly at this very moment so many different worlds are unfolding. At this very moment, someone is in bed, some other travelling, some driving, some working, some fighting, some eating, some are in dreams, some are in others’ dreams… So many worlds in a single world…

Ego impacting our behaviour

How ego works and how our behavior changes because of our ego-association with things can be seen in what happened a few months back. 

I was at our hometown after a long time. Normally father does all the shopping for the house. I am not used to buy things for the house in presence of father as it looks awkward. This time my nephew and niece were at home. Father used to buy for them ‘Kurkure’ snacks which they are very-very fond of and demand all the time. Once I went to market and bought them one pack of ‘Kurkure’ each. They were enjoying it when another kid from the neighborhood came and demanded some snacks for herself too (all kids are mad fans of Kurkure). My niece offered her the same, but the kid grabbed almost all that was in the packet and quickly started eating. Realizing the ‘loot’, my niece cried. Father became angry saying I should either have also bought one more pack for the neighborhood kid too since I knew about her presence, or else I should not have allowed my niece to eat it in the open in front of other kids. I noticed that I protested against this position and made my point bluntly that rather my niece should learn how to protect herself and same situation could have appeared even if I brought one pack for the neighborhood kid and yet she tried to rob my niece. While I had a valid point, but the manner in which I asserted myself in front of my father even surprised me. Why did I raise my voice and asserted myself on such a trivial issue? 

In a moment it became clear to me that my behavior was so because I felt “I” had right of opinion since “I” had bought the packets of snacks for the kids. This ego generating from “I” surprised me. I was ashamed of my behavior but by that time harm was already done. Though I don’t think father felt bad about it or remembered it afterwards but I knew I was wrong and I had a guilt feeling...

Life and Mystery

I remember the days when I was reading Paulo Coelho. His writing full of mystery and symbolism impacted me and for some time I took his things seriously and literally. So when I spotted a white pigeon among a colored flock, or heard a new bird's voice, saw some new flower, or clouds forming a different architecture, I wondered if those were for some specific "reasons" :) When I look back, I don't see any significance of all those "phenomena" happening around :) But yes, life was more interesting when I took his mysticism too seriously. In fact nothing can beat childhood when it comes to seeing life differently and seeing same things with more interesting angles than the boring grownup people do :) I wonder if we tend to think differently either when we are too innocent or too wise...

Just Thinking...

In childhood, we had three small gardens/ kyaari of plants and flowers - one for each sibling. Each had plenty of roses and other flowers in it - mine had white roses and its plant climbed over our house's walls to reach even the roof. We kids used to maintain our gardens, water the plants, remove the weeds, also apply ash as insecticide at times. Till our younger sister was a too young, my elder sis and I used to maintain her garden also. Once father planted a coconut plant each in my sisters' gardens and also three Ashoka trees which have over the years grown into big trees. We also had guava trees, papaya plants and lemon trees - in which many birds made their nests, tweeted around the branches and played hide-and-seek with us.

I think growing up took so much toll that I closed all those nice real memories in a shell and tried to behave as if nothing really happened. About two years back when we moved to our own flat, my wife bought many plants and we kept several flower pots in our balcony. Since then, we see flowers in our balcony daily; we water the plants; worry about them on vacations; and rush to see them first thing when we are home. She also managed to grow some green chilies in the flowerpots! Of course we have Tulsi ji in one pot too; and she leaves children before going dry every time.

When children traveled far, our mothers would give us something to cling on - a hanman chalisa, some beaded garland, or some piece of cloth. Once I saw a stranger boy on the road bringing out his wallet which had passport size pics of both his parents - how positive was the feeling! I think the idea is to keep us connected to our true self... This is how human civilizations survive and keep moving without losing the soul...

Besan Laddus and My Need to be Right

Discovered a pack of 'Besan Laddus' lying on the dining table. As if to encourage my temptations further the pack was already unsealed. I started by tasting one laddu, and the next ones started testing my capacity. But I made sure not to touch the last piece. When wife came in, I proudly announced that I had left one laddu for her. This process repeated itself every time a pack of sweets was found on the dining table. I noticed that even after doing this theft, I was keeping a moral high ground focusing on the fact that I controlled my temptation and sacrificed the last piece of sweet for wife. Not sure if it was ethical or unethical but I think it can be called creative for sure. So the eaten laddus satisfied my taste buds and the last one standing satisfied my need to be morally right. Perhaps this is why it is so difficult to differentiate between good and bad, true and false, ethical and unethical, because we are partially all?

When I Sold Laddus

Our school used to celebrate ‘fun fair’ on every Republic Day. We used to sell its tickets in the neighborhood and then ran stalls selling sweets and games. One year our Principal also gave me the opportunity to sell. Perhaps my qualification was my personality which suited it most; so he declared “Rahul will sell laddoos”! I got a tray of laddoos to keep company for the whole day while my friends enjoyed being vagabonds as usual. It did not help either that the Bundi Laddoos were of immensely tempting color and aroma and I always had a sweet tooth. Though I found it surprising that not many came to buy so lovely laddoos which cost Re 1 each. By evening, since the sales were low, I had to eat some of those and keep the money in my collection box out of my own pocket money. With regretful heart, I returned the remaining laddoos in the tray and explained the accounting of sales to the Principal. I think it is always better to be customers than salesmen; especially if the items of sale are so delicious…

(Childhood memories...)