Role of Expression in Parent Child Relationship

Have you seen your parents cry?

I guess you may not have seen it many times. But how would be the feeling? I guess that would take the world out of you…

Does it happen the same way when parents see their children cry?

Do they get a sinking feeling when they see their children cry? Do they see the world collapse in front of their stoned eyes; do they feel something as if bursting out in their hearts? I guess we would answer in the negation. They must not feel so deeply every time they see their children cry. After all, they are grownups. They are mature, have seen life and are not easily shaken. But even then there should be times and situations when no matter how much they have seen life, all would seem trivial; when no matter how grownup they are they would feel helpless in front of the situation. I hope you would agree with me. In those situations, what do you think - would their pain and grief be graver than ours? I think it is difficult to answer, though the pointer would be tilted towards “yes”.

I think we take expression too seriously. If we love someone, we are taught that we should express so. If we like someone, we should tell him or her how much they are for us. After some time, we tend to think “seriously” that expression is a necessary indication of what goes inside our heart. It may not always be so! And this is where I find connect with my example of parent-child pain situation.

If parents start expressing all their pains, problems and objections, I think our life would become very depressed. On the other hand, though we would always love to see them express their happiness, pleasure and applause, this knowledge can also make us over confident, relaxed and uncaring in extreme situations. Therefore, I think “trust” is an immensely important ingredient in a parent-child relationship. Though it is important in all other relationships too, it plays a very critical role in parent-child relationship because when children grow up and become laden with responsibilities while parents become old and non-contributing in worldly matters, the dynamics of relationship changes. A “trust” between them makes them perceive, imagine, empathize and feel more than simply react according to the expressions of the other.

I think expression is important, but not always necessary. It is good, but its absence is not always bad. A trustful relationship based on mutual empathy would turn the silence into another language of expression…

- Rahul