From Feminism to Taking a Stand

For quite some time around my college days, I had thought of myself as a 'feminist'. It suited me because I had two sisters. From childhood, we all studied in the same school, were treated with same respect, and saw the same dreams. Why should not my sisters or all girls be able to make their career well and make their own decisions? I was so happy from inside about my thoughts which I found liberating at that time.

After marriage, my feminism evaporated in a phased manner. Having been proud of of my sisters' careers and education, I saw the downside of it as my wife worked and how it constrained personal life. And for the first time I started seeing a new world. Unless by some lucky charm two persons start thinking exactly alike, in the end either of them has to agree with what the other person says. Best would be to do things which both are fine with, but such an option is not always the case. Now feminism gave way to realism. I realized that women also liked things in the manner which suited them. It seemed that our inclination to do "what suits me" was a generic trait.

Looking from the ground of realism, everything appeared different. As they say, things are not always either black or white. Sometimes we are selfish, sometimes the other person is selfish. And a new popular line of thinking said that in the end we all were humans, prone to flaws. No matter how good you are, still you would have some flaws. I still can't say that it is okay to be at peace with one's flaws, but I think we should definitely be aware of them, acknowledge them and avoid them as much as we can. We are not so powerless.

In general I realized that in most of the things, whenever we are taking sides we are actually compromising somewhere and being unfair somewhere. Think of any decision govt takes - if we agree with it, it might be because it suits us and if we disagree it could be because it does not suit us personally. Coming in terms with the real world was like ice bucket challenge done to me. I miss the old days when I could say, "I support this", or "that is bad" and "this is good". Such youthful yet unwise stands which we could take. It made life interesting and purposeful. Having even some amount of wisdom is so boring.

- Rahul