Sushant Singh Rajput and the "First Love" Concept

After actor Sushant Singh Rajput's demise, there has been excessive media coverage about all aspects of his life. His family members including sisters, friends, relatives, co-stars and ex-girlfriends, everyone has spoken about him. From their statements, we are not only able to judge Sushant as a person, but we can also understand a lot about the people who are making those statements. Much have been covered about Sushant Singh's two ex-girlfriends, Ankita Lokhande and Rhea Chakraborty and we can make impressions about them too.

Based on the media reports, if we have to make mental images of Ankita and Rhea, I guess most of us would rate Ankita as a much better person than Rhea. Ankita speaks straight and from her statements, a genuine affection for Sushant is clearly visible. I would rate her “emotional quotient” not less than Sushant’s sisters. Rhea, on the other hand, looks a bit cosmetic, although I accept that I have not much read about her. But many of Sushant's friends have said that Ankita was a better match for Sushant and Sushant used to regret getting separated from her.

This brings us to a point: Is it true that our "first love" is often our "best match"?

I never had a girlfriend and I directly entered marriage. Therefore, I am not speaking anything with personal experience in this case. But with age, I can understand things much better now and hence I am making these comments. You can always use your own judgements and need not agree with my observations or opinion.

If we think of "first love", typically it happens at a young age when we just follow our heart without caring for the "practicalities" of this world. At that age, typically our parents take our decisions or else we seek opinion from our peer about what is right for us. And that is tricky. Even if we were right, it may happen that others would see things differently for us. For our parents, our career may be of a higher priority than we getting our "perfect match". For our friends, having a beautiful or a rich partner may have a higher priority over getting a good hearted but simple person as our partner. In that phase of life, it is simply impossible that our peers or our parents would have same vision for us which we would have for ourselves. This leads to a "repenting" situation which we also saw in the case of Sushant. And believe me, if I have understood one thing about relationship in my life, it is that relationship is the single most important thing which is going to make us happy in our life. We must rate it much higher than money, career, fame, or anything else in our life.

I think what should happen with the second girlfriend or next partners is that we would always compare them with our first girlfriend at the back of our mind. That would make the whole experience a bit emotionally "tampered"; and also it would feel a bit "artificial" since we know the "drill" now. Long story short, a second time will never be the same as the first time.

Now, if a person got his first match as a good match, it does not make sense to let her go. But if one is not satisfied and there are issues which are disturbing us, we should always have the courage to move on.

There is an old story about a lady who wanted to find a best match for herself and prayed to God. God gave her 7 choices; with a condition that she won't be able to revert her decision once she makes it. She saw the first person, liked him but thought to check the next. She liked the next person more; hence she decided to carry on. She got much better match but then she thought, "why to miss seeing all choices". By the time she went to check the seventh choice, it turned out to be a bad one! Therefore, as per the condition along with the boon, she missed it and remained single. This story will always remain as a universal guide when it comes to the way "greed" makes our judgments unstable.

I won't say that there is such a universal rule that our "first love" is always our best one; but I believe that in many cases it is so and I think many of us take our first match very "lightly" merely because it was our first match. Therefore, as a general advice I can only say that you should move on only if there is a serious need to move on. And if you are happy with your "first love", then you should never take her for granted and decide to move on just to explore more options.

Relationship with a good partner will be the most fulfilling experience you are going to get in your whole life. In the long run, money, career, fame or anything else will not matter as much as having a good partner. If you are blessed to have one, never think further.

- Rahul Tiwary