Movie Review: Barbie (2023)

The problem with radical feminism is that it projects men as "enemies" of women. And its second-best trait is that it teaches women to be "self-centered", even at the cost of breaking up anything that comes in its way. Could a movie in the name of "Barbie" be made without ideals of radical "feminism" in it? Certainly, for some time in future. Because "Barbie" of 2023 brings the same old rhetoric just colored in lots of pink. 

The first thing that comes to mind after looking at the cast of the movie is their age. Age is a polite way to put it, but it is the "baggy eyes". Or "tyres" around the eyes of Margot Robbie. Just look below: 

Just so that you don't misunderstand me, I have been a fan of Margot Robbie and last time I saw her in "Once upon a time in Hollywood" playing Sharon Tate in the most epic manner possible. In her roles, she always brings grace and positivity, and we always need more of her. 

At the same time, it is really interesting to notice how men and women age at a different pace. Because Margot Robbie is just 33 but looks 53 while Ryan Gosling is 43 and looks 35. At least in this movie. 

The movie starts in a confusing scenario where everyone was calling everyone else "Barbie". It went on like this and its weirdness did not wear off for long. Only later, the need to see Barbies in hoards stopped, as the "Steriotypical Barbie" moved to the real world. Ken, moved there with her too; because what would boys do in life if not chase girls? 

I guess the makers of this film knew that kids would also go to watch this movie (it has 12A rating). Then I felt that all the references to all the evil byproducts of modernity, including mental illnesses, feminism, patriarchy and "fascism" were highly objectionable. In an epic scene in this movie which I loved, a small girl calls Barbie "fascist"! 

The funniest part of this movie was when Ken shouted, "Men still rule the world!" and goes on to search books about how he could use patriarchy to "rule the world". He then goes back to Barbie land and establishes "Ken's land". It was hilarious and ironically, this part by Ken was the most enjoyable part of the movie. Ryan Gosling says, "Mojo Dojo Casa House" and it was so funny. 

One of the most boring part of the movie is when "Mattel" (the company which makes Barbie) starts using the screentime to give us a historical account of the types of Barbies and Kens which were made and later stopped. This was not supposed to be a "biopic" I guess! The other major boring part competing with Mattel is the part played by America Ferrera gives a very long lecture about how it is "difficult to be a woman". Come on, you are making one of the biggest blockbuster movies ever made, and here you are lecturing us on something which everyone always knows!  

In the end, Barbie land is saved, and Ken's land is dismantled in most ridiculous manner possible - the Kens forgot that it was the voting date! (men forget dates). And once Kens return to the venue, a "Black Barbie" uses a cussword (Mo*) against them (though the term is offensive to mothers, perhaps it works differently in the gospels of radical feminism). Well, all the kids who came to watch this movie certainly learnt something new. 

Now, how could men (Kens) deal with an abusive Black woman (Barbie)? The movie shows Ken "running away crying". Well, well, well. What did we expect? 

Despite all the rhetoric and pink, the most beautiful scene and dialogue of the movie is when Ken says, "I just don't know what I am without you". For a moment it seemed that even the most ridiculous scriptwriters get flashes of heart in between. But immediately, Barbie lectures Ken in order to prepare him to be "Ken without Barbie" (the ultimate heights of radical feminism) and then Ken repeatedly says, "Ken is me!", "Ken is me!" Why did not the world end before this movie was released?  

If it matters, the movie also generously promotes "fur" which is height of weirdness. 

The movie certainly tries hard to give us a mix of experience of Cartoon channel, Disneyland and fancy-dress competition combined.  

And in one scene, all men are "tickling" each other. Welcome to the world's most weird lost opportunity ever. 

By the end of the movie, Barbie is searching for an identity. And she ends up wishing to be a human. The long chat she has with the inventor of Barbie (btw, the inventor was a woman, not a Patriarchal man), is the most boring part of the movie as well as most boring part of my recent life. 

Due to the lack of priorities, lack of imagination and a plot which gets completely lost by the half-time, the movie of this name should be remade for the sake of Hollywood's worth. 

Making a "Barbie" movie was such a huge opportunity, and it is disappointing that the movie makers used it just to lecture the world on feminism and patriarchy. 

- Rahul