May I take your five minutes please

It goes back to the time when I was an engineer trainee on my first job. Like most of the work places, we were not getting as much support and guidance as we needed or hoped for. Managers didn't have time to coach us. Some of them asked us to meet them at 5:30 in the evening, exactly after the working hours ended. When we went to meet some others in the first half, they used to call us in the second half. They all seemed to have kept their noses to the grindstone. We had hard time keeping our thumb up.

But when ever I went to meet our Plant Head, he had enough time for us. Often he called us in, even when we didn't have prior appointment. He looked interested in our training and used to ask us to brief him about what we learnt in the previous week. At one time when I was about to leave, he flattered me by saying: Anything else, technical, that I can explain to you? I couldn't believe my ears! Not a single manager, engineer or worker had said that to me. How was that possible? I asked some questions, which he explained with interest. Young people have lots of questions. If solutions to all their queries can't be provided, at least they should be facilitated to search on their own. When I asked him why an innovative practice was not being followed in the plant, he said: think and tell me, what may be the reasons it is not being followed here. What are the plus and minus points associated with it? I thought and found answer to my query on my own!

How that was possible that the top most person had enough time for others, but the lower rank personnel were busy up to the brink most of the time. It became clear to me when I read it in a book: More successful you are, more time you have for your people. If you are successful, you learn to manage time. You know how to take efficient decisions within a timeframe. You know what to delegate and to whom. You know what right thing should be done at what right time and in which right way. You know how to reply in a single sentence, in a situation when others will need a hundred words. In short, your success gets reflected in the plenty of time you have for your subordinates.

God of Smaller Things

He is a road side cobbler; of around 40. He may be 50, but it doesn't matter. He occupies part of the pavement besides Mumbai's busy traffic. He sets up his stall every morning and winds up in evenings. After working throughout the day, he returns back to his home, somewhere on the outskirts of the city. He lives in a slum. His life is full of adventures, if you call it so. It has to be. The roads of Mumbai are not that boring after all. His life is dangerous too. It has to be. Be it the policemen, or the speeding cars, many can get in to endanger his peace of  working life. But perhaps it is less dangerous than the life he led in some remote village, the one which he left forever and came here to be a drop in the ocean of Mumbai. There he was like a less privileged, the fact proved itself everyday in his life. People of his own community were never considered equal to the rich and powerful in his village. But he has some attachment for his birthplace. He should have some. After all, each and every tree in his village and each and every goat in his village knew him. Why he left is another long story. Perhaps he could tell his story to you when Holi comes. The memories of celebrating Holi in his village linger in his inside. Every Holi, he feels nostalgic; some film maker should meet him at time and his story may turn into a film like Vastav. But he is happy most of the times. In this city, he is equal to all. Many Brahmins live in his slum, and they don't look down on him. His kholi is bigger than the Brahmins, who spread their stuff on the same footpath where he runs his own enterprise: papers on astrology, stones etc. He believes he is better than those Brahmins. He has reasons to think so. After all, he earns bread by working with his own hands. And they earn their bread and butter by making fool of others, by reading palms. Can a single mark in his palm change the destiny he made by his two hands? One astrologer had told him in his village that he would become a man of dignity one day worthy of sitting on a chair parallel to the upper castes. Some times he thinks he has achieved this by this time. He has reasons to think like so. When he gets a seat in the Mumbai locals, he sits along with many other people. And some among them must be from upper castes. He has achieved something in his life. When bomb blasts happened, he was on one such train. Thank God, the enemies of humankind where not on his train. He hates all who kill others. He should hate them. Why should they kill innocent people? Despite many provocations from some goons in his slum, he has never done anything like fighting. He cares for his wife and his children. Who will take care of them if he harms that Munna. There should not be any violence.

Today is a beautiful day. One old friend from his very own village met him last evening by chance. How could he meet him in this big city? He believes in fate. Last night, both of them shared the same plate, which was filled again and again by his dear wife. He was not sure if she would have something to eat after they eat much more than what was expected. But a day before, she had got some rice separated from spoiled corn from the shop next to their slum; she would prepare something. He and his friend had a chat late into the night. Not regarding his village, but about their future. His friend too is a cobbler. This morning, he has brought him to his stall, to teach him the tricks of his trade. This city is dangerous. Especially dangerous for people like his friend. So innocent and so soft hearted. He would teach him everything. But he will ask him to work from the opposite side of the same road. He has reasons for this decision. This part of the footpath is his domain. He should not make grants in friendship when it comes to profession. After all, he has made a good reputation for being a thorough professional. People come for his advice in his slum. He thinks professionalism is necessary. He should think so. After all, that chap named Dhirubhai has become richest man on his own, not like the rich in his village who inherit land and suppress others. He had watched the movie Guru with a friend who took him to a theatre. He always thinks how many people could be accommodated inside the cinema hall, if they were allowed to live in. Such a big building! It reminds him of the cold storage in the nearest town to his village, from outside at least. No house for him and such a big building here for fun! He could understand the story of the film. But he doesn't hope of becoming like a Dhirubhai one day. He should not be that hopeful after all. All he wants is a peaceful life for him and his family, and his son to get some permanent job with some government office. He likes government jobs. He has reason to like them. After all, he knows that government is richest of all. Government has all the money in this world and it can do whatever it wants. And imagine someday, the government becomes happy with the job of his son, and then it could give some rewards to his son. That would be so great! His daughter is his big responsibility also. He wants to marry her off with a person who doesn't drink. And it is very difficult to find one in the present times. Though she is still 11, he always keeps an eye on boys. It is a difficult task, he must start early.

He respects Ambedkar. He learnt about him when that Masterjee in his slum called a meeting last year. He told them how Ambedkar, despite being an outcaste became a Saheb. And he started liking Ambedkar from that day. See, he wears such a nice coat and a hat. He looks like a Sahab. And imagine, he was born in a caste lower than his own! He sighs every time he daydreams his son to become like Ambedkar. His son once brought a picture of Ambedkar from some newspaper. He asked his son to keep the picture in their shanty. Some times when he leaves his home for work, he salutes the statue of Ambedkar; several of them are installed in his slum.

He has installed two pictures in his stall. One is of Sai Baba. He respects him very much. When he was seriously ill in his childhood, his mother made a wish in front of Sai Baba's picture in their hut. And he became well in some days! He is God, He can do whatever He wants. His father too respected Sai Baba. The presence of His picture near him makes him feel safe. He should feel safe; after all a lot many things are running smoothly just because of God. He has sworn in the name of Sai Baba and people have believed him. Many times, when he had become completely broke, his wife has brought something to eat from Sai Baba's temple. He has installed another picture also. It is of Guru Ravidas Ji. He is like God to their community. All cobblers worship Him. Despite being from a cobbler's community, he reached divinity. All people, even Brahmins worshiped Him. Such a great feat He is a God.

Guru Ravidass ji the cobbler offereth prayer;

By singing such a prayer to God, for a single moment

He has turned from a lowly caste into an exalted one,

And all the four castes come to bow down at his feet.

His friend has come to have a chat with him. He just got off from his seat and both friends are talking now. A taxi passes on the road. A camera clicks. And you can see what it captured.

Saina Nehwal: A Shining Star

Badminton is my favorite game. Though I tried to be good in all sports and games during school times, I could do well in only two: Kabaddi and Badminton. I did well in Kabaddi because I surpassed my opponents in physical strength, except one or two bullies. I was fairly good in Badminton. (But one of my unforgotten memories is one when in a tournament; they knowingly gave me a racquet with a slipping plastic handle. Being shy then, I didn't object and lost the match trying hard to hold the racquet properly).

I read about Saina in some newspaper. I stopped because the name was similar to Sania. The article discussed how despite holding a better world ranking than Sania Mirza, our Saina didn't attract the same fan following and sponsorships as Sania has enjoyed. Then after some time, I got to watch her game on TV. Superb! She played like a champion! Her body was so flexible and her style so inimitable, that I gave my verdict then and there we have a world champion material in her!

She had it in her family. Her parents Harvir Singh, a scientist at the Directorate of Oilseeds Research, and Usha Rani were former State Badminton champions in Haryana. She won the 2006 Philippines Open, to become the first Indian woman to win a four-star badminton event. She holds the Under-19 women’s single title. She has won twice the Asian Satellite Badminton Tournament (India Chapter). She is currently coached by Pullela Gopichand’s Academy in Hyderabad. Previously she was coached by S. M. Arif, a Dronacharya Award winner. Her play is dominated by power. Her career best world ranking is 21. Currently she is ranked 22nd.

She has got a champion's attitude. In the 2006 World Junior badminton tournament, when Saina lost to top seed Chinese Wang Yihan (13-21, 9-21) she said, “She is a better player than I am. She recently beat seniors world number one Xie Xing Fang. But she is beatable. I can beat her.”

I begun to like Laxmi Mittal more when I came to know that in October 2005, he had set up a USD 40m fund in Mumbai, christened Mittal Champions Trust, to spot, support and enhance the performance of talented young sportsmen to improve India’s showing at the Olympics and Asian Games. Saina Nehwal is one of the beneficiaries of this trust.

Success doesn't come easy. I am now reproducing one article titled Saina: The untold story by Amanpreet Singh, published at The Tribune. Link: http://saina1.notlong.com

What does it take to make a badminton star like Saina Nehwal? Ask her father Harvir Singh.

If Saina battles it out on the badminton court against the world's best players, it has been no less a battle for her father to let her do the same.

Rarely a middle-class family can think of spending half of the monthly income on an eight-year-old child's training without knowing if the gamble would pay off.

But Harvir Singh, a Scientist with the Directorate of Oilseeds Research Hyderabad, opted to go by the advice of PSS Nani Prasad Rao, the then badminton coach of the Sports Authority of Andhra Pradesh (SAAP), who saw immense potential in the girl.

I met Nani Prasad Rao in December, 1998, at Lal Bahadur Stadium in Hyderabad. Saina was standing with a badminton racket on the court and he asked her to play. After watching her game, he said,She has the potential and if you want to train her, bring her to me as a summer trainee, Harvir said.

The tough journey had started. Saina had to be taken to the stadium every day early in the morning and the distance from the house was 20 km.

It was a challenge for both of us because I had to wake up early so that we could reach the stadium by 6 am. The training session used to last for about two hours.

After attending the training session, Saina had to attend school. This way I had to drive my scooter around 50 km daily as Saina, apart from attending rigorous practice sessions, had to concentrate on studies, her father explained.

The impact of this tough routine began to show in the first week as Saina would often fall asleep on the back seat.

Sensing the danger, Saina's mother started accompanying them on the two-wheeler. This continued for three months.

Ultimately, the family had to arrange a house near the stadium in 1999. This time the distance was about 7 km from the stadium.

But the travelling ordeal did not end here as Saina was asked to attend evening training sessions as well.

With an extra training session, the travelling expenditure rose to Rs 150 per day. Added to this was the cost of training. Shuttles, racket, shoes, guttings and what not had to be purchased regularly. I spent around Rs 12,000 every month to keep her going those days, Harvir said.

But how did the family manage such high-cost training? Saina's father revealed that he had to sacrifice his savings.

I started withdrawing money from my provident fund. Sometimes it was Rs 30,000 and other times it was nearly Rs 1 lakh. It happened more than five times when I had to shell out money from my PF savings due to Saina's various requirements, said Harvir.

He stated that the tight-rope walk continued till 2002 until Yonex Sunrise sports offered to sponsor Saina's kit.

It came as a big relief. Fortunately, she got BPCL support late in 2004. Ultimately, she was spotted by Mittal Sports Trust in December, 2005.

But I had never disclosed to Saina my financial difficulties fearing that she might get disturbed knowing that her father was left with no savings for the future, he said.

When asked if they got any help from the sports authorities, the answer said it all.

Till 2003, she was getting Rs 600 per month from the Sports Authority of India (SAI). It was raised to Rs 2,500 in June, 2003. You can understand how I could have managed, Harvir said.

Apart from the training cost, hefty telephone bills put extra financial burden on the family when Saina started touring foreign countries for events.

The byte-crazy media played a part too. Wherever she went, be it the Philippines or South Korea, her phone kept ringing.

A major part of the prize money that Saina got from big competitions like the Philippines Open and World Junior Championship was utilised in paying her mobile bills, which were between Rs 40,000 and Rs 50,000 in the touring months, he said.

But was the prize money enough when she began her career? Saina was given just Rs 300 as prize money after winning the under-10 state level competition, held in Tirupati in 1999. The period between 1999-2004 was very trying for the family as we did not get any sponsor for her, Harvir said.

It was not only the financial burden but the risk of lagging behind on the educational front which added to the pressure.

Saina had to skip examinations twice. She did not take her first year intermediate exams because of the Melbourne Commonwealth Games and later in May, she could not write supplementary exams as she was in the Philippines.

At present she is studying in the second year at Saint Ann's College, Mehdipatnam Hyderabad. Ironically, the family, despite her big success at the international level, has not been able to celebrate much.

She has never been to any party, any restaurant or cinema in the past seven years. When the electronic media personnel visited my home in May last year for shooting of a programme, I could not even offer them sweets. Do I need to explain why, he asked. - PTI

Girl Donates Eyes before Killing Herself

Many times, news which could make us get out of our beds are buried in the inside pages of the newspapers. On 11th of April, 2007 there was a news report on the 8th page of Hindustan Times, Mumbai edition. Title made me shaken: "Girl donates eyes before killing herself."

In Lucknow, a girl named Divya Pandey (real name), committed suicide. She was a 12th standard student, and was to appear for her biotechnology exam. Divya's mother says: She was a very bright student, but was not satisfied with her performance. A day before she took this drastic step, she said to me that she doesn't remember anything that she had learnt and would not be able to score above 90 percent in class 12th. In her suicide note, she wrote that she wanted to donate her eyes. Her parents, though distressed at her death, decided to honor her last wish and ensured all procedure were followed immediately. Her body, which was discovered in the morning, was taken to KGMU, doctors harvested her cornea and within days, two people were able to see the world, thanks to Divya.

Donating eyes

This is the first such case in my memory. I have never heard if someone else in the past planned to benefit the society in this manner, the society in fact is the reason for their distressed conditions. It shows that Divya was in her sane state at the time of suicide. She knew what she was going to do. Still, if she chose to hang herself, it was not her failure only. It is the failure of the society in which she lived.

Worth thinking over

Should we stop after declaring it as a shocking incident, an unfortunate event and expressing solidarity with the family? Two things come to my mind immediately:

The state of cruel competition.
The expectations from the family members.

State of cruel competition

All of us know how brutal is the competition to get admission in the engineering and medical colleges like IITs, NITs and AIIMS. In IIT JEE, the success rate is 1 in 60. More than 3,00,000 students appeared for JEE-2006, for total 5500 seats. Around 5,25,000 candidates wrote the AIEEE – 2006 of which around 45,000 people in the open category have been called for counseling. And the matter of fact is that we have very few such institutes of excellence in India, and almost everyone wants to get in there only. In this cut throat competition, the students are so much tense and winding under pressure that if they sense a possibility of failure, they find their world falling over and in a state of depression, they take this decision as an escape from the hell.

Expectations from family

Parents these days are sending their children to schools at a very early age. They feel proud that their kids are already there when at the same age, they used to play at home all the day. Next, we have already heard and faced the problems in getting admissions in good schools. Schools charge huge sum of money for admissions, in the name of anything. Parents of Kangaroo Kids, Mumbai fumed in protests when the school hiked the fee for KG students in Mumbai is Rs 36000 [Ref 1]. If parents have to pay such exorbitant amounts, naturally their expectations will be proportional.

Also, the practice of comparing our children with those of others in our neighbor is an old one. There was a scene in the movie Ta ra rum pum, a young couple with two children was moving into a new flat, when an already residing couple met them on the stairs. When the gentleman says How lovely kids, her wife says Apnaa bhi koi kam nahi hai. If the neighbor's son has won a prize in recitation, your son will have to pay for it.

Analysis of suicide cases in South Delhi

In a paper titled “Suicide among children and adolescents in South Delhi (1991-2000)” [Ref 2], the investigators Lalwani Sanjeev, Sharma GA SK, Kabra SK, Girdhar Shalini and Dogra TD from Departments of Forensic Medicine, AIIMS, New Delhi, report the following key observations:

Out of 222 cases of children and adolescent who died by suicide, majority 55.4% of the victims were girls. This shows that the girl students have a greater pressure to perform and are more susceptible to be depressed.

Commonest age group involved was 15-18 years in both the sexes. This is the time when students appear for their board exams (10/12).

Maximum (56.4%) cases were reported in the months of March-July. The psychological problems due to studies, performance in examination and declaration of results are higher during these months.

The vast majority of suicide cases had applied hard methods with hanging which reflects a higher degree of auto aggressive behavior and determination towards self destruction.

What to do? Can we leave the things as they are?

In my opinion, nothing can be more useful in curbing the suicidal tendencies among children is parental support. If Divya knew that her world did not end with her less than 90% marks, she would have accepted her bad performance as part of life. Its time to think and correct ourselves before it is too late.

References:

1. http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/498230.cms

2. http://www.ijppediatricsindia.org/article.asp?issn=0019-5456;year=2004;volume=71;issue=8;spage=701;epage=703;aulast=Lalwani

3. http://in.rediff.com/news/2003/aug/14sc.htm

4. http://cities.expressindia.com/fullstory.php?newsid=121483