After
demise of Atal Bihari Vajpayee, one of India's best and most respected Prime
Ministers on 16th of August, his foster daughter Namita Kaul
Bhattacharya lit the funeral pyre [1].
That created some buzz in the media as media is always eager to cover as many
aspects of the ‘news of the hour’ as possible. Media reported about the fact
that a daughter lighting funeral pyre is not common among Hindus; which is
correct. But it is important to note that the reason behind the custom is not
any bias against women but a different one altogether.
First,
Hinduism as a religion does not ban women from attending cremation or a female
from lighting funeral pyres. A lot of women have done so across the times. This
practice of not allowing women at the cremation site is more of a cultural practice
or a social custom. The reasons can be explained in many ways.
The
major reason is that daughters are perceived to be emotional and too attached
to their parents and hence may not be able to carry the whole process as
strongly as a son would be able to do. This should not be seen as a sign of ‘weakness’
as modern feminist could judge it as. Any custom that society makes considers
the general welfare of people. In several cases a daughter may be strong enough
or stronger than the son but those would be exceptional cases.
"As
the fire leapt up, the pandit handed over a bamboo stick for the Kapaal Kriya — breaking the skull
to release the soul from the body. Several times in the process, buckets of
water were poured on me, or I was asked to pour on myself. Shivering to the
spine, in the cold November rain, breaking my dad’s skull, my senses were numb,
maybe heart stopped beating. I must be breathing. Must have, coz I didn’t die.
We came back, drenched to the bone, my soul and mind paralysed."
This
just gives an account of kind of experience the doer of the rituals have to go
through.
It
is an arduous task.
Even
if daughters or females were allowed to do the rituals, all of them may not
like to do it. Hence sons or male members of the family would take care of the
process. It is very important to note that this custom is to
"safeguard" the women from the trouble.
Many
a time when the deceased does not have a male family member, one of the
daughters or a female family member does the process. No Hindu organization
issues a "fatwa" against them or any other sort of protest.
To
conclude, this custom of not allowing females from doing the cremation rites is
social in nature, not religious. And this custom was made to safeguard the
females from the inconvenience and ordeal due to a cumbersome process, not as a
form of any gender discrimination.
:: Rahul Tiwary
References:
Disclaimer:
Views are personal.
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