Paper Weights and Our Life

In his novel “Bachelor of Arts”, RK Narayan portrays a very interesting father-son relationship. One episode is really heart touching. The son (who was a BA) was not agreeing to marriage and he rejected all proposals that came to him. His parents had grown old and wanted him to get married as soon as possible, maybe also because good prospects won’t always wait. One hot afternoon, his father comes to his office. After asking how things are going on, he tells about the purpose of his visit. He tells hesitantly that the boy’s mother was forcing him to talk to him about a particular marriage proposal. The son keeps silence and doesn’t tell anything. Then the father leaves his office; goes downstairs and start walking towards his home. After some time, the son wonders if his father would take his silence as his approval. So he goes downstairs and follows his father. While he is walking behind his father to stop him to talk, he notices that his father has become old. He is no longer the same young and energetic father whose picture he had in his mind. He stops his father and tells a straight “no” to that as well as all future proposals. Father tries not to appear disappointed and asks his son to forget about the proposal and be happy. Then he tells his son which goes something like this, “I noticed in your office that some of your papers were about to fly due to the running fan. Remind me in the evening, I will give you some paper-weights that I have kept in a trunk.” Then he carries on.

This was such a touching incident. The father didn’t want anything but only the wellbeing of his son. And he had a father’s heart to notice and care for even the slightest of his inconveniences. If a small paper-weight could help his son, he would try to provide it too. But did the son really care for his old parents? In his decision of not marrying, was not he denying his parents a lot of happiness and also a proper care? Didn’t his old parents deserve the happiness of seeing a bahu in their home? The son ultimately agrees to the marriage, much to the delight of his parents.

When we marry, we don’t marry only for ourselves. We bring someone to become part of our family. We marry for our mother, for our father, for our home and for our family. Extend it further and we can see that we do so many other things not for our own individual sake but for the wellbeing of a whole lot of others too. And this is a stark realization which we, the youngsters, often forget.

Can we lead our life without the love and care of our parents and family? Then, is not it natural for us to take them into consideration before we make any important decision? I think our relationships are like the paper-weights in our life; they protect us from instability and keep us grounded. Otherwise we may become as tall as the proverbial date-tree; despite its height it doesn’t provide even a little shade to others.

Let us remember the paper-weights.

- Rahul