Sunday, July 20, 2014

Ego impacting our behaviour

How ego works and how our behavior changes because of our ego-association with things can be seen in what happened a few months back. 

I was at our hometown after a long time. Normally father does all the shopping for the house. I am not used to buy things for the house in presence of father as it looks awkward. This time my nephew and niece were at home. Father used to buy for them ‘Kurkure’ snacks which they are very-very fond of and demand all the time. Once I went to market and bought them one pack of ‘Kurkure’ each. They were enjoying it when another kid from the neighborhood came and demanded some snacks for herself too (all kids are mad fans of Kurkure). My niece offered her the same, but the kid grabbed almost all that was in the packet and quickly started eating. Realizing the ‘loot’, my niece cried. Father became angry saying I should either have also bought one more pack for the neighborhood kid too since I knew about her presence, or else I should not have allowed my niece to eat it in the open in front of other kids. I noticed that I protested against this position and made my point bluntly that rather my niece should learn how to protect herself and same situation could have appeared even if I brought one pack for the neighborhood kid and yet she tried to rob my niece. While I had a valid point, but the manner in which I asserted myself in front of my father even surprised me. Why did I raise my voice and asserted myself on such a trivial issue? 

In a moment it became clear to me that my behavior was so because I felt “I” had right of opinion since “I” had bought the packets of snacks for the kids. This ego generating from “I” surprised me. I was ashamed of my behavior but by that time harm was already done. Though I don’t think father felt bad about it or remembered it afterwards but I knew I was wrong and I had a guilt feeling...

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