Superman: Salman-Ka-Fan

Arjun Kapoor dances to the tunes of “Mai hun Superman… Salman ka Fan” and something is just too loud to be ignored. We can call it pride or even arrogance; but being Salman-ka-Fan sort of justifies it all… With this brush if we want to paint the fossilized topic of comparing the three famous Khans of Bollywood, how do we rate the Aamir, Shahrukh and Salman?

Aamir had always been too ‘girlish’. Several times he tried too hard to break this image but alas – how could be change it unless he comes on screen with a mask every time! So it does not matter whether he plays a tapori in ‘aati-kya-Khandala’ wearing leather jacket and growing a bit of stubble, he still appears like a cheeky chick. Shahrukh has slightly different flavor - even when clean-shaven he always appeared like unshaven – and he made the ‘boy-next-door’ look his biggest strength. Not all girls actually believe in their dream of marrying a prince – most of them would perhaps agree to marry a frog if the frog wears Versace. And what a rich wrinkled frog Shahrukh has been! A dog can bite, even a cat can bite, but a frog is too harmless to be of any harm – and that is what makes him attractive to girls. Girls could dream a lizard to turn into a monster but never an SRK to be threatening to them – that is quite some quality to possess. That brings us to the only Khan who has remained himself all through the ages. Salman Khan is the only Khan who never needed to humiliate himself in order to win our hearts… Don’t believe it? Just look at coy and childish Aamir playing pK!

Photo: Aamir playing pK

Coming back to Aamir being girlish. It was no surprise that Aamir failed when he tried to portray a Manly (Mangal) Pandey. In order to hide his girlish looks, Aamir tried something which worked just as bad – he tried to play the kid! We all loved him in 3-Idiots because appeared too natural for the juvenile’s role he was playing. He continued the same to Dhoom-3 where he played a character suitable for his looks – that of a cute child. Btw, before that he failed once again in Talash – because he was playing the role of a Manly Policewallah with a manly moustache. So in pK he returned to his comfort zone and this time took it several notches above – he made himself into a clown! Ok, fine, it was alien. But the alien he was playing seemed to have been inspired by a clown – just look at the way he carries himself off…

Photo: Aamir failed each time he played a manly character like Mangal Pandey or in Talash but succeeded when he played a boyish joker or a clown-like alien.

While Aamir thrived on his girlish looks, Shahrukh was neither a proper ‘boy’ nor a proper ‘girl’ and his only strength was his ‘newspaper vendor boy-next-door’ look. So our so called King failed when he played Ashoka the Great. His tapori-panthi, sly, street-smart moves were out-of-class for the classy look and feel needed in the character. Shahrukh also made complete fool of himself when he tried to outdo the original Bachchan’s Don. People would accept him a road-chhap tapori but he appeared to be wearing rented suits and stolen deodorants for his role as a Don. SRK being the only Khan without a look worth second glance outdid all his previous antics by growing his six-packs which appeared more naturally grown in a starving smoking man than a person frequenting a gym of any shape and size. With his eight-packs he proved in front of the whole world how desperate he could be! Before all this madness about body-chiseling SRK was thriving on being a rare combination of intelligence, manners and romanticism. All his earlier life he must have been an ignored, average and invisible boy and hence the viewers connected with him instantly! After all, despite having the worst biopics he always used to get the girl by the end of the movies! How fascinating for the public to see such a pathetic boy getting all beautiful girls from one movie to the other! To the girls, he appeared to possess many complimentary qualities which they would like to have in their boyfriends, if nothing less then nothing more than that also. Being a boring loyal husband was not an option but compulsion to the King Khan without a proper beard.

Photo: Shahrukh failed when he tried characters which required class; was ridiculed when he grew six-packs perhaps as a revenge on God for not giving him a proper body

The only Khan who did not need to humiliate himself in order to make it big at the Box Office has been the undisputed Salman Khan. Salman is the ultimate Dabang of Bollywood – the unashamed handsome devil – who had it all with grace and class each time. The only Khan who when takes his shirt off, people don’t close their mouths with hands, like they did with Aamir’s weirdly tattooed Ghazini or Shahrukh’s not-worth-counting packs. While Aamir might have gone completely nude to promote his one movie and Shahrukh might have nearly killed himself to develop eight-pack abs in this old age, Salman is the man who has grown older with grace worthy of his (sur)name.

Photo: Salman Khan is the unashamed Dabang of Bolywood; the only Khan who did not need to humiliate himself to make it big at the Box Office

While Aamir went after marrying multiple women and also did not miss to create affairs with a White woman abroad to produce illegitimate child and Shahrukh with his poor looks held on to perhaps the only woman who agreed to marry him as a loyal husband, it is Salman who dared to love. When he loved, he made no attempts to hide it. When his women abandoned him, he cried like any human would. And when he loved next time, he made no secret of that either! How can you not love the humanly vulnerable yet rock solid Khan? If you see him or watch his interviews, you would certainly notice one thing about him – he never pretends! He is straightforward and dil-se; what all other phony actors claim to be but are not.

Salman Khan is the only Khan with real fan-following from other men. If you are Salman-ka-Fan, you won’t need to be ashamed, something which comes frequently if we start to think about being fans of Aamir or Shahrukh. That is why Arjun Kapoor says “Salman-ka-Fan” and takes the Taj Mahal by storm:

Photo: Arjun Kapoor sings ‘Salman-ka-Fan’ in Tevar

Salman Khan was the only Khan who had the guts to stand with NaMo (Modi) and fly kites in front of the whole media, even before Modi got power in Delhi. On the other hand, Shahrukh is a known Pakistan-sympathizer while Aamir is by and large non-political.

Photo: Salman Khan with Narendra Modi

Salman Khan is also the only Khan who can pair-up with the Dabang Girl Sonakshi. Imagine girlish Aamir or tapori Shahruku appearing like school-kids in front of the Desi Girl? We would rather eat all the popcorn ever produced than watching the lesser-Khans humiliate themselves once again…

Photo: Salman ‘Dabang’ Khan with Sonakshi ‘Khamosh’ Sinha

On these happier notes, let me now take a break :)

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