Lord Shiva

 

In childhood, out of all gods, I had special attachment with Lord Shiva. When in crisis and difficult situations, like having missed doing homework for school, I would pray to Him and most of the time I was saved. I grew up believing that He listens to me.

When my son was born, I wanted to name him after Lord Shiva. I and my wife brainstormed, looked at all options and found a lovely name which had Shiva in it. I still see both my son and the Lord connected.

I have this particular weakness that when I visit a temple or stand in front of a deity, I can’t “ask” God for anything in particular. I have to force myself to try and ask God for a boon. I still can’t and fail to ask. Somehow my brain does not work logically and I am speechless in front of the deity. It has been like this for years.

Many times, when we are faced with a situation which is beyond our control, we blame ourselves for it. It is a form of ‘victim blaming’ too. Sometimes I blame myself for asking too many things to Lord Shiva in my childhood; which has made Him ignore me now. I can’t say that I asked for too many “little things’ in childhood, because at that time, those little things appeared most important to me. On these lines, perhaps what I want now may also be a “little thing”, even though I won’t realize.

Hope Lord Shiva still listens to me some times.

- Rahul Tiwary