Attachment

A couple of weeks back, a senior colleague happened to visit our work location. He had helped me many times before on some assignments and I thought I shared good rapport with him. Memories of how I had questioned him on technical topics and he had explained things so well to me, were fresh in my mind. When we met, we went on very well. We talked about a host of things, from work related to personal. We also discovered a common friend, who was his classmate and my ex-colleague. I thought I had found a good pal in him.

Recently he was relocated to another location onsite. In fact it was like a promotion for him. When he joined from there, he stopped replying or explaining things to me. I was conscious about his elevated position and hence didn’t push, but his ‘silence’ was troubling me. It also so happened that I would ping him but he won’t reply and would leave the chat as it was. I would send him emails asking for some clarifications to which he won’t reply, even though he was designated to help me in this project! I thought he may be busy, but his “status” on Communicator was always “green”. Now I started wondering what the reason was. Thought came to my mind if it was the common friend who had spoken something ill about me to him and hence he was cutting me off? Or was it that he was too much conscious of his elevated position and hence won’t reply to me like before? Was he finding his new position challenging, was already troubled with the things he was doing, and hence he found my enquiries uninvited?

Today, I couldn’t contain myself. I had sent two emails to him this morning, to which he hadn’t replied. Of course I had sent separate emails to other senior colleagues too, as my plan B, and I had managed to do my work, but that was not the point. I seemed to be troubled by him ignoring me! Despite the fact that I thought he was a friend! I pinged him and asked him exactly this: “you have become very silent these days :)” with a smiley and all small fonts, to appear friendly. This time, to my surprise, he replied, “may be....but am quite busy”. Just this much. I didn’t want to appear pushing, so I accepted it readily and replied, “ok ok, your status remained green so I wondered... no issues..”. And then I went for tea. When I got back, I saw his reply to the last one as “i don't bother to change the status msg :)”

So it indeed was because he was busy. May be, or maybe not. It can be that he has grown snobby and was indeed avoiding me. No matter what the reason was, why was I troubled? I think the reason why I was troubled was because I felt an “attachment” for him. I thought I cared for him and hence was hurt when I couldn’t feel an affirmative “return gesture”. The roots of my trouble were not in his behavior, but in my own feelings. My attachments.

When he said, “may be....but am quite busy” I felt hurt. In my true self, I cried in my inside. Why? Because his behavior was not nice to me; he whom I cared about and “expected” a similar return gesture. He may be behaving like this to everyone now a day, but not everyone would be feeling hurt. Was it because no one else cared for him? Certainly not. But may be others didn’t feel that kind of attachment which would require a return gesture. Was I selfish? Was I really “expecting” something in “return”? I wonder if I am like this to a colleague in office known for a month, how I would feel if someone I loved truly behaved with similar “unaffectionate” way. Why to keep such a sensitive heart, which gets hurt so often?

I think getting hurt because of being sensitive is “part of the parcel”. If one has not got that sensitive heart, one would not enjoy those small little joys of life which one doesn’t see from one’s physical eyes but can only feel from heart. Only those can fall who have risen first. Only those can feel lonely who have had a company. Only those can feel hurt who have been touched before. I think yes, it is part of the parcel… It is part of being us…  Part of being me.

- Rahul

PS: In the above text, I look like justifying attachment, which I also think is the reason of human misery; yet it is so very part of us…

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PS: (after 1 month): I think it has become quite clear now. He has taken his new position/responsibility very seriously and is working in much cautioned manner. He is now more introvert and formal with everyone. (At times bossy too) Perhaps he had to make this forced transformation because he is quite young by age for his role. Anyways by now I am perfectly at peace with the change. :)

Celebrating Indira Gandhi’s birthday

Today is late Smt. Indira Gandhi’s 94^th birthday. I come to know this through a news item displayed on google news. The news item also carries Indira Gandhi’s black and white portrait, with pallu of her printed saree covering her head. This reminded me of our childhood association with her.

When we were in school, my two sisters and I used to collect images of great personalities from our history and our freedom struggle. My elder sister and I were born in our grandfather’s professors’ quarters. Baba had kept many framed portraits of our freedom fighters in our home. When we shifted to a new home after his retirement, mother got many new portraits (all collected from the middle pages of magazines like Dharm Yug) framed in glass. We had Jawaharlal Nehru, Dr. Rajendra Prasad, Gandhiji, Indira Gandhi, and many others. (One curious picture of Nehruji and Indira Gandhi was taken from such an angle that it gave the impression as if their noses were touching each other). Mother got the portraits displayed on the high walls of our drawing room and bedrooms (one nail at the top, two nails at bottom, and the frame would hang slightly tilted towards the ground). Every year during the Diwali, we used to clean the pictures to make them new. After many years, some of those became fragile, so we put them on a support. We grew up under the shadows of our great freedom fighters…

While growing up, once I heard an interesting remark of one of our guests. Some visitors who were from his bank had come to see father. They saw the picture of Dr. Rajendra Prasad in our drawing room, and appreciated our father for being impartial to caste. Dr. Prasad was a Kayastha by caste and they said it was a great thing that Papa didn’t choose pictures of personalities like Pt. Nehru (who was a Brahmin) for the drawing room. I still remember this episode which happened many years ago.

When our collection of the pictures cut out from newspapers and magazines grew big, one year an interesting plan came to our mind. We decided to celebrate Indira Gandhi’s birthday. We glued some of her pictures on hardboards and some on other sheets, and displayed our whole collection at a place in our drawing room. We had plenty of very nice pictures of her, thanks to the Soviet Nari magazine which came from the USSR. We also decorated the place. Neighbors and visitors appreciated our effort. After that, we celebrated many more of such ‘days’, like Nehruji’s birthday (Children’s Day), and also days related to Rajiv Gandhi.

When I reflect on those days, I think the innocence of our childhood had kept us isolated from the realities of the world. We saw Indira Gandhi as a strong lady who had become our PM thereby inspiring all of us. We didn’t think if she could do that had she not been Pt. Nehru’s daughter; also we didn’t know about the Emergency Days when she acted like a near tyrant. We loved the immensely good looking Rajiv Gandhi without knowing the corruption charges against him. We loved Chacha Nehru oblivious of his flawed decisions leading to humiliation and loss of life due to China’s excesses. Though we still had Mahatma Gandhi, Dr. Rajendra Prasad, Sardar Patel and Subhash Chandra Bose, who were almost “all good”. Now from our present generation, if I have to choose some of our great leaders, whom shall I choose? Narsimha Rao? VP Singh? Manmohan Singh? Sonia Gandhi? Laloo Yadav? Or Mamta Banerjee? I think Atal Behari Vajpayee and APJ Abdul Kalam would be an exception and their portraits can still be revered; but not a single more name would prop in my mind. With a situation like this, I think if my children decide to celebrate the birthdays’ of great personalities, they would have to stick to my own old list – Dr. Rajendra Prasad, Mahatma Gandhi and a Subhash Chandra Bose.

Are there great leaders coming anymore?

- Rahul

Flipkart: Fuelling a Revolution

I have done shopping of books on Flipkart.com for a number of times. I have always found it very user-friendly and convenient. I have even availed discounts in the range of 30-40% on the website. More than satisfactory, I would say I have experienced customer delight through Flipkart.

Flipkart has employed technology for better user experience in a wonderful manner. For example, it always ‘remembers’ my shipping address and asks me if it can use the same. I have now realized how well it makes use of analytics.

During my last shopping session, I had bought a book from the brilliant author Devdutt Pattanaik. Today, I received an email from Flipkart, informing me about two ‘forthcoming’ books from the same author, titled, “7 Secrets of Shiva” and “7 Secrets of Vishnu”. 

Many of my friends have bought electronics items from Flipkart too. All of them feel very happy about their experiences.

I think Flipkart is really going good to great. I hope they keep up the momentum. What pleases me more is that it is an Indian venture based in Bangalore (its founders are Sachin Bansal and Binny Bansal).

Flipkart is now being called India’s Amazon.com.

While I hope more Indian websites and entrepreneurs take some leaves out of Flipkart’s growth story and take “Made in India” brands to greater heights, I also think that Flipkart in a way has fuelled a new “reading revolution”. By making books conveniently available at our doorsteps (Flipkart delivers books through couriers at a lightning speed), it has helped a lot of readers and made a lot of regular book-buyers out of occasional buyers. I am sure its contribution from this angle is immense and would grow in the coming days.

All the best, Flipkart!

- Rahul