Good parenting

This is not about MBA, but something greater than that. The most difficult art or science - is being a good parent. Read on. I saw this message and thought to share it here. I agree with all points, except that I think brother-sister fights in the childhood are a way of learning and growing up too. In such situations, the only thing the parents have to take care about is to be just in their decisions/settlements of fights irrespective of the gender.

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Don't let your son grow up to be a male chauvinist. Teach him to respect women as equals, so he grows up into a fine young man who will do you proud.

1. Teach your son that he should never, ever strike a girl, no matter what the provocation. If he has a sister who he constantly fights with and they regularly exchange blows, he may not easily grasp the concept that boys don't hit girls. However, as your children grow, they will outgrow the phase of fistfights, so it is important that you inculcate this value in him.

2. Teach your son to question sexism by teaching him to respect his sister as his equal. By doing this, you will be teaching him to respect all women as equals.

3. Make sure your son contributes equally in the household chores. If your daughter lays the table, your son can clear it after the meal. Chores should be rotated, so no child feels that they've got the raw end of the deal.

4. Don't expect your daughter to serve your son, or your son will expect the same of his wife. And if she does not meet his expectations, there will be marital discord. Similarly, teach your daughter to respect herself and her gender by not asking her to iron your son's clothes, or to prepare lunch for him when you or your cook are not available. They can order food from out, or the two off them can scramble some eggs together.

5. Teach your son cooking. Most chefs are men, and many of the world's best cooks are men. You will be doing him a service, not a disservice, by teaching him how to cook. If he's got a sweet tooth, start off by teaching him how to bake a cake… and take it from there. There's nothing effeminate about entering the kitchen. Some of the most macho men I know love to cook, so break out of this old school of thought. You could start off by asking him to watch you bake a cake, and to help you out by whipping the eggs, passing you the sugar, etc. Get him involved, and his interest will rise.

6. Teach your son chess, teach him how to use a computer or teach him a subject at school. Don't expect only your husband to teach him things that require him to use his brains. If you teach him how to, say, use a computer, his respect for you, and consequently, his respect for women, will increase tremendously. The fact that you may be a stay-at-home mother has nothing to do with it. If your son sees you as intelligent, you've done very well! But if he thinks that 'only papa is intelligent' or 'boys are much cleverer than girls', you've got some serious catching up to do.

7. Be a good role model for your child as a father. Respect your wife, and respect her opinions. Avoid cracking sexist jokes with your son, and if you do, make sure that your son knows that they are just jokes. Seek your wife's opinion. As a mother, strengthen your child's opinion of you by not nagging your husband constantly in front of your child, by not losing control of yourself or your emotions in front of the children, and by appearing strong and balanced in their eyes.

Happy Rakhi

Someone sent me this message: "I am Rakhee how you you?" (her name changed :). I thought there was some grammatical error! Now I know there was none! And I am loving it, when I say: "I have 7 Rakhees, how are you?" :)

From the childhood, the more number of Rakhees we had, the luckier we were. And those who didn't have sisters were really unlucky ones :) I have seen aunts with only two sons, longing so much for a daughter. Rakhee has been the day, when friends show off: I have 7 Rakhees, how many have you got? I too want to show off, so I repeat this again and again: I have 7 Rakhees today, how are you? :) It was also Rakhee, which always kept sisters richer than us. But Goddess of wealth is a lady anyhow, so we never complained.

And today, I hear a new story about my sister's kiddo: At 2+ of age, he has got a girlfriend in his class! (play school) One day, sister asked: Did Vrinda come to class today? He said: "Lekin bahut door baithi thee" (But she sat very far away ") And some days back when they celebrated Rakhee in school, he took chocolate for her and she came in a new dress to tie a Rakhee to him :)

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I saw this message yesterday. I think it was meant to be shared today only! I agree with all points, except the brother-sister fights. I think brother-sister fights in the childhood are a way of learning and growing up too. In such situations, the only thing the parents have to take care about is to be just in their decisions/settlements of fights irrespective of the gender. How do you like this? :

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Don’t let your son grow up to be a male chauvinist. Teach him to respect women as equals, so he grows up into a fine young man who will do you proud.

1. Teach your son that he should never, ever strike a girl, no matter what the provocation. If he has a sister who he constantly fights with and they regularly exchange blows, he may not easily grasp the concept that boys don’t hit girls. However, as your children grow, they will outgrow the phase of fistfights, so it is important that you inculcate this value in him.

2. Teach your son to question sexism by teaching him to respect his sister as his equal. By doing this, you will be teaching him to respect all women as equals.

3. Make sure your son contributes equally in the household chores. If your daughter lays the table, your son can clear it after the meal. Chores should be rotated, so no child feels that they’ve got the raw end of the deal.

4. Don’t expect your daughter to serve your son, or your son will expect the same of his wife. And if she does not meet his expectations, there will be marital discord. Similarly, teach your daughter to respect herself and her gender by not asking her to iron your son’s clothes, or to prepare lunch for him when you or your cook are not available. They can order food from out, or the two off them can scramble some eggs together.

5. Teach your son cooking. Most chefs are men, and many of the world’s best cooks are men. You will be doing him a service, not a disservice, by teaching him how to cook. If he’s got a sweet tooth, start off by teaching him how to bake a cake and take it from there. There’s nothing effeminate about entering the kitchen. Some of the most macho men I know love to cook, so break out of this old school of thought. You could start off by asking him to watch you bake a cake, and to help you out by whipping the eggs, passing you the sugar, etc. Get him involved, and his interest will rise.

6. Teach your son chess, teach him how to use a computer or teach him a subject at school. Don’t expect only your husband to teach him things that require him to use his brains. If you teach him how to, say, use a computer, his respect for you, and consequently, his respect for women, will increase tremendously. The fact that you may be a stay-at-home mother has nothing to do with it. If your son sees you as intelligent, you’ve done very well! But if he thinks that ‘only papa is intelligent’ or ‘boys are much cleverer than girls’, you’ve got some serious catching up to do.

7. Be a good role model for your child as a father. Respect your wife, and respect her opinions. Avoid cracking sexist jokes with your son, and if you do, make sure that your son knows that they are just jokes. Seek your wife’s opinion. As a mother, strengthen your child’s opinion of you by not nagging your husband constantly in front of your child, by not losing control of yourself or your emotions in front of the children, and by appearing strong and balanced in their eyes.

Happy Rakhee to all of you!

© Rahul

No more fun please…

These are times of boundary less world. These are also times of our obsession with the ‘less’. On one hand, we are trying to fill the gap by addressing sensitive issues in course curriculum, and on the other hand, we keep loosing it because of changes happening where we least expect. The changing profile and attitude of teaching faculty is one such thing. No longer has it remained the profession of the noble, as it is seen as just another profession, and some times a comfortable one. It has also become a feather in the cap of today’s manager. And hence, a very diverse set of people are entering the teaching line, with diverse interests and backgrounds. It is good to a large extent, but bad when we start expecting them of certain kind of nobleness as teachers were always expected to.

As I entered the class late, the teacher allowed me to come in. But he made the class give me a big applause (clap, clap, professors do that to bore the late comers :). I came in and said “thank you”. He seemed to feel that I was a bit intimidated, so he held my arm while asking me to come in and said, “Don’t worry dear, I am not touching you the wrong way :)” Good sense of humour? Let us see…

Two minutes later, he makes a point to one guy, saying, “Suppose you get married” (class laughs) “And suppose you have a child too” (laughter), “And even suppose it is your own child!” (more laughter)… He watches people laughing, stands tall, and says, “Yes, Can you know who the father of a child is? Never! Even DNA tests won’t tell. ONLY the mother knows the father of the child!” He feels himself superior and moves around, while people let the joke passed amidst laughter. Why this example? He was trying to explain the real decision makers in the buying process, and something about consumers and customers. 1.5 hours and 1.5 dozen double meaning jokes… Did we deserve more? :)

Today a friend in another class says his teacher of CRM asked a guy, “Do you think having one-night-stands every day would make you have a better relationship with your girlfriend?” (many worse examples are not shared here) What the hell! The class laughed while some people felt bad. He was explaining how customer relationship management is as complex as real life personal relationships...

Normally we all avoid minding or objecting to such comments because they are occasional ones and in pure humour. But many a times, they are derogatory to a particular sex, caste or religion. Most common is to see women as an object. And they take it that the class will enjoy such jokes! From my personal experience, this phenomenon is seen mainly in the visiting faculty from the industry, who would make their day (evening) by breaking such funny but double meaning jokes at every opportunity. The students just laugh and let it go. In one subject, we tolerated one retired HR manager for 3 months, who kept telling corrupt stories in the name of sharing practical cases. And one professor, who described lewd details in the name of explaining cultural diversities. We rated them low in the feedback forms, but I am not sure if anyone mentioned what they said in the class rooms. All such incidents still make me sure of one thing – no matter how much the new generation has changed, we still respect our elders. And we discount their bad habits to a generous extent.

I had read somewhere that while in public, we should never tell such jokes because public memory keeps that particular impression of ours for a long time. If I meet my teacher after 20 years, it may happen that I will recall him by the double-meaning jokes he told in the class. It is high time the teachers behave themselves. As such I am decided now that if that teacher continues his way, I would politely let him know of my opinion, ok, gyaan :) Complaint is a big decision and something I would avoid. But we never know :)

Everything can be laughed off, but there is always a limit.

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Note: This article doesn’t generalise the phenomenon or behaviour of teachers in general. Views expressed are personal. Nothing is against any particular teacher or university. For the record, incidents mentioned may be fictitious. And it should not be quoted for any action against anyone.

Guest Lectures

CK Prahlad on campus On Saturday, 19th of July, CK Prahlad was on our campus. The visionary professor of University of Michigan and author of ‘Fortune at the bottom of Pyramid’ was here in Mumbai to interact with the students of our university on the theme India@75. I couldn’t attend this session due to some reasons (ok, my decisions) but I caught up with friends later on. They had found the session a bit boring as the speaker had not been able to connect with the audience on the core of the theme. When the best of the authors and speakers try to reach out to the audiences beyond a limit, there is always a risk of being self-infatuated and missing the ‘magic’. And today, when one of our professors gave an assignment to a group on the topic “CK Prahalad’s contribution to the management practices in India”, the junta laughed :) This was neither because Indians are over-critical of other successful Indians, nor because Prof. Prahalad had not contributed enough. It was just a sample of the interesting phenomenon when many a times, sound principles become reduced to management jargons… SCM Head, Cadbury On 26th of July, Mr. Saurabh Tiwari, Supply Chain Head, Cadbury India was on campus to deliver a guest lecture on the topic “Exploring the beautiful world of business – from lens of Supply Chain”. He started from setting the context in the changing times in India, and then went ahead giving the snapshots of supply chain challenges in Cadbury, the framework approach, sales and operations planning (S&OP), and the skill sets and careers in the field. Apart from all technical insights, Mr. Tiwari’s presentation skills and his connection with the young audience were commendable. The simplicity in delivery and the easiness with which he described the models were exceptional. The loads of chocolates that he brought for the students were just a sample of enthusiasm that he showed in delivering this lecture. The audience, which was dominated by freshly joined first year students, got really enlightened and were tremendously motivated by the speaker. After the lecture, the crowd waited to touch and feel him :), and I hoped he would have returned back with the feeling of a job well done… Other guest lectures: Mr. Pradeep Chechani, Supply Chain Head, RPG Spencers interacted with the students in a guest lecture on 23rd of July, under the theme of “The story of the Watermelon Seller”. This event was organised by Optumiz – the Operations Cell in coordination with IIPC. Mr. D Shivkumar - VP & MD Nokia India Limited was on campus on 31st of July for a Guest Lecture titled, "Where did the Leader learn Leadership?" Dr. Narayan Rangraj (co author of the book Logistics and Supply Chain Management – Concepts and Cases) was on campus along with Mr. Pulkit Jain, a student of M.Tech. on 7th of August. IIT Mumbai had designed a simulator for suburban section of Western railway. They demonstrated the logic, software and the constraints. This event was organised by Optumiz – the Operations Cell.

Some recent reads

Churchill on Leadership

Winston Churchill gave this world the "V" sign for victory. Prime Minister of United Kingdom during the World War II, Churchill was a self made man who made the history the way we read and repeat today. This book tries to point out leadership traits from this great political leader, as applicable to the business world. Although fighting a world war and competing in the business world are very different, both require brilliant leadership for success."

Churchill's leadership style was essentially about taking responsibility, facing bad news squarely, staying open to changing your mind in presence of new information and keeping fully informed. “Responsibility must be combined with authority” and “decisiveness depends on the person at the top” are two of his philosophies.

Though I found the book more useful for those who already have good insights into the war time history and British political system, it does describe some basics for the beginners like the difference between political and business leadership w.r.t risks. Also, we get to know and understand why Churchill's style of leadership worked at that time. And why it can still work in many forms. More information on the Book at [Rediff Books]

Ten deadly marketing sins

Philip Kotler, Professor of International marketing at Northwester University's Kellogg School of management and author of 30 books is a God in marketing. In this comparatively new book, he describes the reason why 75% of new products, services and businesses fail. That is, he discusses the 10 deadly marketing sins:

1. Your company is not sufficiently market focused and customer driven
2. Your company doesn't fully understand its target customers
3. Your company needs to better define and monitor its competitors
4. Your company has not properly managed its relationships with its stakeholders
5. Your company is not good at finding new opportunities
6. Your company's marketing planning process is deficient
7. Your company's product and service policies need tightening.
8. Your company's brand building and communication skills are weak.
9. Your company is not well organized to carry on effective and efficient marketing.
10. Your company has not made maximum use of technology.

The language and approach by the author is very interesting and we get many good insights on the theme. A necessity for anyone in marketing… More information on the Book at [Rediff Books]

The Secret

I avoided this book by Rhonda Byrne for long, since I hate anything gives impression of craving for publicity and which rides on the herd-mentality of others. Now, I read every page of this book. It is such a simple book and tells the ‘secret’ which we all practice in some way or the other – the fact that like attracts like and if we ‘think’ good, good things will come to us. So if I love others, I will also get loved. But there is a catch. If I repeat weight-loss all the time, then I will end up growing fat, since life neglects the accompanying words and will hear only ‘weight’. So, we should do ‘positive’ and not ‘avoid negative’. At Rs 550, the book sells more on our curiosity than the real stuff. But who didn’t realise: common sense is the most uncommon thing these days?

The Coward’s guide to conflict

‘The Coward’s guide to conflict’ by Tim Ursiny has a very interesting title. It claims to have “empowering solutions for those who would rather run than fight and win”. And it starts with a quote from Ken Blanchard, “If you are a coward like me when it comes to conflict, then this book would be perfect for you. I now appreciate the need for conflict, and I am getting even better dealing with it”.

But the book doesn’t deliver what it promised.

“Many times our first response to an upset individual is to quite our voice and stay calm. Does this really calm the other person down? In most cases it doesn’t have a calming impact because the person feels like you don’t understand how upsetting the situation is to him.

A better approach is to match the intensity (voice volume, rate, etc) of the conversation without verbally attacking, and then slowly soften your voice.”

This is the only take-away from this book for me; though I am not sure if I would really shout the next time :) As such the book is written in a lucid way, with lots and lots of practical examples and real life situations. But what it lacks is to prove that those many examples were worth the effort in reading them.

Good one, if you are interested in the topic, have plenty of time to read, and don’t expect miracles.