One of my Marathi friends went to attend his friend’s marriage in Banaras (Varanasi), UP and came back surprised. He asked me “Tumare side me shaadi ke samay gaali ke gaane kyon gaye jate hain?” (Why do they sing gaali (slang) songs during marriage ceremonies?)
The practice of singing taunting slang songs during marriage is prevalent in many parts of India. It can even be seen in Hindi movies, when bride’s friends sing that kind of songs to taunt the bridegroom and his friends/relatives. The usual practice is that the ladies on the bride’s side sing such slang-songs when the baarat (bridegroom’s party) arrives at the groom’s place. It is an interesting part of “welcome” ceremonies. It creates a funny situation, often embarrassing for the bridegroom and his friends. Such songs provoke groom’s side too and even they can answer the taunting songs with their own taunting songs thrown back towards the bride’s side. At times it becomes a curious pitted battle between the two sides. The reason why such a practice exists is not difficult to understand. Most importantly it “breaks the ice” between the two parties. As not all friends/relatives of bride and groom know each other, and this kind of a battle results in they dropping their ego and connecting with each other. At times, memories of such gaali-wars remain with both sides for a long time. Whenever they remember those, they can’t stop without smiling…
It is also to remember that this custom of singing slang-songs is only a part of the gamut of marriage ceremonies which involve lots of fun and adventures. For example, friends of the bride steal the shoes of the groom and they won’t return them back until the groom pleads to them (and of course sheds some weight from his purse). Next, the girls do “dwaar-chhekaai” when they cover the door and won’t allow the groom to enter the house. They will let him in only if he pleases them with whatever they demanded, for example singing a song, telling them a joke, or again, giving them some currency notes! Such teasing and harassing not only lightens up the environment, but also makes the ceremonies adventurous and fun. (May be psychologically this helps the bride-side to cope up with the sorrow of their daughter leaving them forever for a new place/family.)
Returning back to (gaali) slang-songs; as I said, it is part of the “welcome” ceremony alone. Afterwards when actual puja or hawan starts when sacred light is lit and offerings are made to gods after invoking the deities, such slang-songs are never repeated. When puja starts, ladies sing “mangal-gaan” (auspicious songs). There is a very clear distinction between the slang-songs (gaali ke geet) and the auspicious-songs (mangal-geet) which are sung as part of the marriage ceremonies. If we forget their distinct purpose and don’t notice the phase and time of the ceremonies when these are sung respectively, we would probably misunderstand the intentions involved…
While I explained this to the extent possible to my friends who had questioned it, I wanted some backing. Today, I got what I needed. (It is said that whenever you have doubts, read out random pages from our holy scriptures and you will get the answer.) Today, I read a page of Ramcharitmanas written by Tulsidas (published by Gita Press, Gorakhpur, with Hindi translation) and it gave me exact evidence and explanation behind this custom.
The following verses from Tulsidas’ Ramcharitmanas (baal-kaand) tell about the marriage ceremony of Shiva and Parvati:
“Vividh paanti baithi jevnaara| Laage parusan nipun suaaraa||
Naarivrind sur jewant jaani| Lagin den gaarin mridu baani||”
Meaning in Hindi:
“Bhojan karne walon ki bahut si pangaten baithin. Chatur rasoiye parosne lage. Striyon ki mandaliyan devtaon ko bhojan karte jaankar komal vaani se gaaliyan dene lagin.” ||4||
Meaning in English:
“They (gods in groom-side) sat down in many rows to eat. Smart waiters started to serve the food to them. When groups of ladies (from bride’s side) saw the gods eat, they started to sing slang-songs in soft voices.”
Next verse is like this:
Gaari madhur swar dehin sundari vyingya Vachan sunaavahin|
Bhojan karahin sur ati vilambu vinodu suni sabu paavahin||
Jewant jo badhyo aanandu so much kotihun na parai kahyo|
Achwai dinhe paan gavne baas Jahan Jaako rahyo||
Meaning in Hindi:
“Sundar striyan meethe swar me gaaliyan dene lagin aur vyangya bhare vachan sunaane lagin. Devgan vyangya sun kar bahut sukh Anubhav karte hain, is lie bhojan karne me badi der lagaa rahe hain. Bhojan ke samay jo anand badha woh karodon much se bhi nahi kahaa ja sakta. (Bhojan kar chukne par) sabke haath-muh dhula kar paan diye gaye. Fir sab log, jo jahan thahre the wahan chale gaye.”
Meaning in English:
Beautiful ladies started singing slang-songs and speaking taunting jokes in sweet voices. The gods were pleased with the humor in their songs and hence they were taking longer time to finish their food. The pleasantry spread during the time of food was such that it can’t be described even by 10 million mouths. After they finished their food, they were offered water for cleaning hands and then they were served with beetle leaves (paan). After that everyone went back to their place where they had stayed.
(Notice that the custom to offer paan to our guests has survived thousands of years of time; it was present during Shiva-Parvati marriage and is present even today.)
After one more verse, Ramcharitmanas tells that when marriage ceremony started with Vedic methods, the ladies started singing “mangal-geet” (auspicious songs). This is the exact sequence in which the custom is still followed in the present times.
So what do we conclude? I think after seeing this episode from Sri Ramcharitmanas, we understand that this custom is very old. Even gods (all gods including Vishnu and Brahma had come as part of Shiva’s baaraat) and Rishis accepted this gesture of slang-songs (gaali-ke-geet) in the right spirits. They didn’t mind being ridiculed in the ladies’ songs. When gods didn’t mind it but if we mind it today, it would show only our own lack of understanding of our culture and the true meanings behind customs and traditions. I am sure many of us don’t take this custom in the positive sense and would even ridicule UPites or those regions where such a custom even exists today. I wish they showed a better understanding of this tradition.
Now a day our children are studying in English schools and imitate the Western way of life. It is not surprising if our ladies don’t even know a single traditional song to sing on any such occasion! When they can’t sing a “mangal-geet” also, it is highly likely that they won’t know or show any inclination to sing these slang-songs too! (Though this custom has survived in our Hindi movies and can be seen in many TV soaps also. It indicates that may be this custom will not die forever). But there are chances that this custom can die, like many other harmless customs and traditions are on the verge of becoming extinct since they don’t fit with our young generation’s way of life and aspirations. But I would wish to see each one of us showing some respect in case we witness such customs and traditions still being practiced…
I strongly believe that today there is the greatest need for us to spread the true meaning of our religion (Hinduism), its customs, our culture and everything around it. If people don’t know true meaning behind the customs and abandon those, they are not totally at fault! I hope the above elaboration and quotation from Sri Ramcharitmanas would have been an eye-opener for many. Let us all prove that we care for our culture and traditions and trying to know the real meanings of things is part of that care…
Note: I have written the above article using my little experience and exposure. Your comments sharing your knowledge on this issue are highly welcome.
(Kumar Rahul Tiwary)
