Psychology: Father Son Conversation

The other day in office washroom I overheard a telephonic conversation between a father and his kid. The person called up his child (let us assume it was his son) and told him that he had received a Whatsapp message from school that the kid had not submitted an assignment which he knew he had taken to submit the previous day. “You had taken that assignment yesterday to school. Why did you not submit it?” The kid said that he had indeed submitted his assignment. Then the person asked him if that was the case then why did he receive a message reminder from school. The kid answered that the message must be a common message to all irrespective of whether the concerned student had submitted the assignment or not. The father simply said okay; accepting the reasoning. Then the kid asked him if he had received individual message or in the group. The father accepted that he had received the message in the “group” i.e. Whatsapp group. 

Two things struck me in the conversation. 

First, the father did not trust his son. When the son said that he had submitted the assignment, the person tried to trick him into accepting the opposite by doubting “if son had submitted the assignment then school won’t have to send a reminder!” The son had to explain how the generic messages work and then the father was satisfied. 

Secondly, the father was proven stupid when he confirmed that the “message was sent in the group and hence was a generic reminder” and it was not sent individually to him. The father should have understood this very simple fact by using common sense. So, the son would either have noticed that his father was stupid or else he would have noticed that he did not trust him. Either way the inference coming out from the conversation was not healthy. 

Lastly, these generic reminders are weird and often create confusion. I remember in my previous organization all of us used to receive emails asking us to take some mandatory actions and then in the end there would be a sentence saying, “Please ignore if you have already done this”. In the age of advance analytics and artificial intelligence, such “generic mailers” are simply time-wasting stuff which also add to the unnecessary stress to the employees. The fact that this was happening in an IT company makes it look more stupid. 

Now in my childhood days, my father never checked upon me if I had done assignments or not. I would of course do the assignments most of the times, since otherwise I would look stupid in front of others in the class and would also get punishments. Therefore, I do not understand this need to add a new check and “alert” mechanism which today’s parents are trying to put. If kids know that parents would remind them and alert them if they were missing something, they would have some less serious “sense of responsibility” and rather focus on having some better excuse making capability and certainly better “argumentative capability”. Now these may not be totally useless skills but still I would choose the scenario where the kid owns his decisions regarding school matters and has his own mechanisms of reminders, rather than his father calling him from washroom and asking him stupid questions to trap him, while being involved in something more urgent (using the washroom). 

- Rahul Tiwary

Travelogue: Durga Puja 2019 in Noida

- Rahul Tiwary

Travelogue: Vijaya Dashmi (Dussehra) in Delhi

- Rahul Tiwary

Animals: A Stray Dog in Gurgaon

A Stray Dog in Gurgaon – 

Notice how he has crossed front legs and is sitting like a gentleman

Travelogue: DLF Promenade Mall in Delhi

DLF Promenade Mall is a beautiful mall in Vasant Kunj area of South Delhi. Here are some of its pictures:

- Rahul Tiwary

Personal: Donation for Temple

At our housing society in Pune, a temple of Dutt Bhagwan is being constructed. There was an old but small temple in which place a bigger temple is being constructed. I have contributed Rs 5000+ as donation for the temple + idol. And I feel happy about it. 

- Rahul Tiwary

Philosophy: Jorden Peterson Videos

I Just watched some videos from Jorden Peterson and it opened a new world in front of me. He has a fresh perspective on most of the subjects and although I can see there are several controversies around him on the internet, when he explains things, his opinions hardly appears controversial. 

Dr. Jordan B Peterson is a Professor of Psychology at the University of Toronto, a clinical psychologist, a public speaker, and writer of several books including the best seller “12 Rules for Life”. 

Preferred Pronoun Controversy 

I think the biggest controversy about him was related to his disinclination to address a transgender person by the choice of pronoun as per the wish of that person. This was a new law created in Canada. Jorden questions why should government try to make such a law and why should not it leave the matter on the people. When an interviewer asked him why can’t be agree to the person’s demand, e.g. if a person looking like a lady asks him to address her as “he”, what objection did he have. His answer was interesting. He said “it depends” on the situation and he will make a decision about it as he feels right with that person. If that person (e.g. transgender) was genuine then he would readily agree to address using the preferred pronoun but if that person appears to be using the demand for preferred pronoun as a means to manipulate then he would not agree and he would use his own judgement to use either “he” or “she”. Listening to his this explanation, his decision appears fine. Then why so much controversy was created? 

I remember sometime back there was a controversy about which lavatory should a transgender person be allowed to attend. Should it be based on the biology (i.e. what type of organ (male/female) the person has got) or should it be dependent on the physical appearance and attire. The problem with first choice is that no one can verify it. The problem with second option is that some wrong persons may dress like female and go to female lavatory and this may be objectionable to other females using the lavatory at that time. Therefore, we can realize that all such decisions are tricky and hard to make and need a sharp intellect or clarity of thought. And hence many times if government makes such a law, some super intelligent people can just successfully challenge the law, proving it stupid readily. But then at times government is confused if it should make laws which would require lot of time to explain, or just follow the “popular opinion” and appease the masses. For politicians in the government, this later option may sound beneficial (satisfying the masses even through stupid laws may lead to help during election time). 

Gender Pay Gap Explanation 

Again, his opinion on gender pay gap appears to be fine. He argues that while there is a general average pay gap between men and women, it is not “because of gender” but it is because of several other factors. And he is totally right. I know many women who accept less salary or no promotion if they can get more flexibility e.g. less working hours, more work from home etc. This would of course lead to women earning less. But the interviewers or the journalists have hard time understanding this small thing which is a right argument. It is because media and everyone has done such a strong conditioning of our mind that we have become biased believing that women are discriminated against and women should never be blamed no matter what.

Jorden Peterson with Bill Maher

William Maher is an American comedian, political commentator, and television host. He is known for the HBO political talk show Real Time with Bill Maher and here is a video about Jorden Peterson’s appearance on this show. Jorden shares his thoughts and theories while Bill and his audience makes unnecessary ridicule of Donald Trump. 

Jorden Peterson Full Interview

One more good interview video is below: 

You can follow Jorden Peterson’s YouTube Channel: 

https://www.youtube.com/user/JordanPetersonVideos

- Rahul Tiwary

Environment: Why Aarey Colony Tree Cutting Should be Tolerated

If you are on social media platforms you must have heard about the environmental activists protests against tree cutting in Mumbai’s Aarey Colony area for Mumbai Metro project. 

What is happening

Mumbai Metro is an ambitious project which is expected to change the way of life for Mumbai residents for the better. I have lived in Mumbai for 4 years and I have seen that the life of a middle class person remains the same year after year and decade after decade. The city is so much crowded that new development is too challenging. Every time there are rains the city comes to standstill for some time. People are habituated to tolerate so much trouble, much more than people from any other city (I have lived in 11 cities so far in India). Mumbai’s life line is the local trains and the journey is very unsafe. Every day several people fell down from the open gates of local trains and are killed. In this context, Mumbai Metro will surely be a game changer. 

Protest against tree felling

Total 2646 trees are affected (461 will be transplanted and 2185 will be cut) in the Aarey colony area. But Mumbai Metro firm had already decided to plant 6 times more trees to compensate for the loss. You can read below news:

Mumbai Metro firm MMRC begins planting 20,900 trees in city

https://www.freepressjournal.in/cmcm/mumbai-metro-firm-mmrc-begins-planting-20900-trees-in-city 

Six times more trees will be planted, assures Metro body

https://www.dnaindia.com/mumbai/report-mumbai-six-times-more-trees-will-be-planted-assures-metro-body-2788594

Political angle

The tree felling is happening at the election time. Therefore there are high chances that they protests against the Metro project are politically funded by opposition parties. The fact that this is election time is known to the government too. Both government and Metro planners would have thought about alternative routes since everyone knows that cutting trees will be sure controversy. Govt is not stupid to do this at election time unless it was an absolute necessity.

Do you know that India is turning Greener?

Earlier this year, NASA released a report mentioning that India had contributed to turn our earth greener. 

Since the turn of the new millennium, the planet's green leaf area has increased by 5%, or over two million square miles. That's an area equivalent to the sum total of the Amazon rainforests, NASA says. 

A third of the leaf increase is attributable to China and India, due to the implementation of major tree planting projects alongside a vast increase in agriculture.

China and India account for one-third of the greening, but contain only 9% of the planet's land area covered in vegetation -- a surprising finding, considering the general notion of land degradation in populous countries from overexploitation," Chi Chen, the study's lead author and a graduate researcher at Boston University's Department of Earth and Environment, said in a statement.

India has contributed a further 6.8% rise in green leaf area, with 82% from croplands and 4.4% from forests.

https://edition.cnn.com/2019/02/13/world/china-india-greener-planet-scli-intl/index.html

Why tree felling should be tolerated

1.      Mumbai Metro is a vital project which will improve the living standards of common people immensely

2.      Mumbai Metro project will avoid daily accidental deaths due to unsafe travels in local trains

3.      Overall green cover in India is already having an increasing trend and India is helping our planet turn greener with more tree cover

4.      Mumbai Metro also has big environmental gains because it will avoid lots of vehicles on the road and hence air pollution will reduce overall

5.      Metro Project is already planting 6 times more trees than those being affected

6.      461 trees are being “transplanted” which shows the seriousness of Metro project planners

Due to above reasons, I argue that we should allow the project to go ahead along with the tree cutting to happen as planned.

- Rahul Tiwary 

Books: शरत चंद्र चटोपाध्याय की 'परिणीता'

'परिणीता' शरत चंद्र चटोपाध्याय द्वारा लिखित एक उपन्यास है जो मूल रूप में सं १९१४ में बांग्ला भाषा में लिखा गया था। मैंने इसका मनोज पब्लिकेशंस द्वारा प्रकाशित हिंदी अनुवाद पढ़ा।

परिणीता की कहानी एक मंत्रमुग्ध करने वाली प्रेम कथा है। शेखर और ललिता के लड़कपन के प्यार से शुरू होकर जब कहानी पेचीदे मोड़ पर पहुँच जाती है तो पाठक परेशान हो जाता है कि कहीं कुछ गलत न हो जाए। गिरीन्द्र थोड़ा सा 'दाल भात में मूसल चंद' जैसा लगता है, तो कभी थोड़ा हिंदी फिल्मों के 'विलेन' जैसा। पर कई मोड़ों के बाद कहानी 'सुखान्त' के साथ खत्म होती है। तब पाठक को ऐसा लगता है जैसे शेखर और ललिता के साथ हो जाने से उसे भी कोई व्यक्तिगत खुशी मिली हो। उपन्यास के पात्र पाठकों के साथ इतना अपनापन बनाने में पूरी तरह सफल होते हैं।

'परिणीता' पर एक फिल्म भी बनी थी। पर वास्तविक उपन्यास की कहानी उस से कई गुना अधिक पवित्र और सुन्दर है। आप भी जरूर पढ़िए।

- राहुल तिवारी

History: The Christian Crusades

In the history of Christianity, the ‘Crusades’ were a series of religious wars sanctioned by the Church in the medieval period. Several of such crusades or military campaigns aimed at recovering the lost land from the Muslim occupiers. 

In below video, Stefan Molyneux, a Canadian podcaster and philosopher explains about some of the misconceptions about the Crusades. He also has a background in studying history and hence he has brought in many historical facts. 

After going through this video we would have better understanding about the ‘justification’ and background of the Crusades. 

I have always been interested in history and think that proper understanding of history is needed in order to avoid repeating it. Hope you would also find the above video enlightening.

- Rahul Tiwary

Thoughts: A Child’s World

Due to rains and some health issues, I was not going out of my house much for several days. That explains why I was looking at the neighborhood with slightly curious eyes today. And I particularly noticed some scenes. 

From a rubber hose for watering the lawn, suddenly water had started spraying out in the open. A small boy had come to watch it. There was a look in his eyes seeing the water sprays.

A little girl was walking in the park along with her father. She was walking in a certain way. At times if she found something interesting in the grass, she would bend and check it out. There was a curiosity in her. 

Three small kids were playing near a shop. They just walked in a straight line one after the other in one direction, then changed course and walked in the other direction. They were happy doing this. 

And a group of young kids were involved in a Ganesh Puja pandal and were sitting on the stage, doing various things. There was their chatter. There was their enthusiasm which would occupy them for several hours there. 

When we go old, we tend to get bored soon. But when we are kids, we seldom get bored as the world looks interesting to us. The difference is in understanding. If we understand things, we no longer wonder about those things. But because of this, as we grow older and wiser and begin to understand most things, it is natural to lose interest and sense of wonder in most of the things. It’s a challenge is to keep this world interesting enough as we progress in life. I felt this after seeing those wonderful kids. 

- Rahul

Festivals: Ganesh Puja Pictures from Pune - 2019

Pictures taken with Nokia Phone (Made in India) by Rahul Tiwary 

History: World's Biggest Dictators

Inspired by National Geography documentaries, I watched some YouTube videos on world’s biggest dictators. Here are a few: 

Alexander Lukashenko of Belarus:

Ramzan Kadyrov of Chechen Republic:

Muammar Gaddafi of Libya:

Muammar Gaddafi shot dead: 

These videos help us understand important part of these countries’ history as well as world history. If we see something happening now, many times their explanation lies in the history. I am a big fan of history and reading more and more about it fascinates me.

- Rahul Tiwary