Lessons from Ramayana – Part 3

Hinduism is said not to be a belief but a way of life. Hinduism doesn’t have one single holy book, or one person who started it; or not even a single sacred place to revere. The set of beliefs practiced by Hindus are diverse. This attitude of Hinduism or Sanatan Dharma as it is also called reflects at many places and times. These days, I am reading ‘Ramayana’ by C. Rajgopalachari who gives wonderful descriptions of the tales fitted to the modern times. He mainly uses descriptions from Valmiki, as well as brings comparative portions from Tulasi Ramcharitmanas and Tamil poet Kamban wherever required.

Here is an interesting episode from the Ramayana.

One morning in early winter the three went as usual to the Godavari for their bath and to offer their morning prayers and fetch water for the day’s needs. They walked conversing about the beauty of the season. Lakshmana thought of Bharata and how he would then be busy performing the ceremonies appropriate to the month.

He said: “Bharata is entitled to live in ease but he has taken on himself a life of hardship in the forest. My heart is full of sorrow for him. Even in this cold weather poor Bharata no doubt eats sparingly and sleeps on the bare floor. This cold morning he too is probably walking towards Sarayu! Pure in mind and speech and conduct, renouncing all pleasures, he lives a life of austerity for our sake. He is exactly like our dear father and quite the opposite of his mother. How could so cruel a woman in Kaikeyi bear so good a son?”

Raama stopped him, saying, “Talk as much as you like of Bharata and our father, but stop condemning Kaikeyi. All that you say of Bharata is true and my thoughts too today go for him in love….”

Thus thinking longingly of home and Bharata they batched in the Godavari on that early winter morning. After offering oblations to their ancestors and prayers to the sun, Raama rose transfigured like the Lord Shiva and returned to the aashrama with Seeta and Lakshmana.

(Chap 31, ‘The Soorpanakha Episode’, Ramayana, C.R., P194-195)

Shri Ram allowed Lakshman to say good words about Bharat and their father, but as soon as he started criticizing Kaikeyi, he stopped him. The reasons why he stopped him could be many. Ram knew that Kaikeyi was not really to be blamed for all that had happened. Destiny makes way for us to fulfil the purpose of our life and people are merely means. Kaikeyi sent Ram to the forest so that he could fulfil the reasons for his Avatara. Ram was born to eliminate Rakshashas and Ravan from the earth, and a lot of things had to fall in place in order for him to do it effectively. Also, we should not forget that Kaikeyi had fallen into confidence of her maid Manthara and hence done all the wrong she could. In any case, no good was to be achieved by venting anger against her. Ram had obeyed the wish of his father because that was his dharma. He received the hardships coming his way with a smile on his face and that is why we would always read Ramayan – Ram’s story – and would take inspirations from him. If Kaikeyi would not have made such wrong demand – Ram’s glory would not have become such great for us to see and learn from.

Also, I think Ram knew the futility of criticism. Negative criticism can only prepare one’s heart for more of negativity and is of no good use. Also, gossiping and criticizing others is considered sin in Indian culture and these signs of idle minds are discouraged. I think Ram’s gesture indicates towards that.

- Rahul

Lessons from Ramayana – Part 2

Hinduism is said not to be a belief but a way of life. Hinduism doesn’t have one single holy book, or one person who started it; or not even one holy place to revere. The set of beliefs practiced by Hindus are diverse. This attitude of Hinduism or Sanatan Dharma as it is also called reflects at many places and times. These days, I am reading ‘Ramayana’ by C. Rajgopalachari who gives wonderful descriptions of the tales fitted to the modern times. He mainly uses descriptions from Valmiki, as well as brings comparative portions from Tulasi Ramcharitmanas and Tamil poet Kamban.

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When Ram is exiled to forest, King Dashrath dies in grief of Ram’s departure. When prince Bharat returns to Ayodhya and comes to know about all the wrong doings, he becomes wrecked. But in those difficult times, Bharat is quick to make a resolve clinging to Dharma – he decides to go to the forest and persuade Shri Ram to return back to the throne.

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From the time he arrives in Ayodhya, Bharat is suspected. Even Kaushalya, Ram’s mother suspects him. Then the hunter-king Guha suspects him when he goes seeking way to reach Ram. Even Rishi Bharadwaj suspects him and asks if he intends to do any harm to exiled prince Ram. Grieved each time he is suspected, Bharat often sheds tears and explains that all he wished was to do service to the rightful king Ram and he had no wish for any kingdom.

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When Bharat arrives and touches Ram’s feet, this is how C.R. describes what Shri Ram saw:

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Raama saw before him lying on the ground Bharata with hands clasped in supplication, with matted locks and in garments of bark. With grief and fasting, his body had grown lean and he was tanned with fatigue and exposure. Raama embraced him and kissed him on the forehead.

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(Chap 27, ‘The brothers meet’, Ramayana, C.R., P168)

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While reading the narrative involving Ram’s exile and Bharat’s return to Ayodhya, I was so touched that tears continuously flowed out of my eyes. I can’t say even an iota of that divine spark reflected in my heart, but surely I was ‘affected’. At another place in the book, C. Rajgopalachari tells first about Bharat’s virtues and also about benefits of reading sacred texts like Ramayana.

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The story of Bharata in the Ramayana portraying a character of unrivalled purity and sublime selflessness is something more than an episode and stands out by itself even in that noble epic, as holy shrines do on the banks of the Ganga. It uplifts the heart and gives one a glimpse of the heights to which human nature can rise when cleaned by love and devotion.

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Jnaana and bhakti will automatically grow by a contemplation of the personality of Bharata. In order to recreate the scene and the person in his own mind the reader must bring into play his reverent imagination.

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We bring with us into this world as our inborn gift some wisdom and reverence. This gift is always in us and though sometimes obscured by prejudice or passion, it keeps alive the divine in man which prevents him from reeling back into the beast.

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(Chap 26, ‘Bharata suspected’, Ramayana, C.R., P157)

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The character of Bharat showed us how high our human nature can arise when cleaned by selfless love and devotion. No one needs to preach us to practice these right values – we can only see it in the behaviour of Bharat’s character in Ramayana. No doubt, even without any special formal religious education, most Hindu kids grow up with the right values and moral traits in them, just by reading or listening to texts like Ramayana. Such is the glory of Ramayana.

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- Rahul

Lessons from Ramayana – Part 1

Hinduism is said not to be a belief but a way of life. Hinduism doesn’t have one single holy book, or one person who started it; or not even one holy place to revere. The set of beliefs practiced by Hindus are diverse. This attitude of Hinduism or Sanatan Dharma as it is also called reflects at many places and times. These days, I am reading ‘Ramayana’ by C. Rajgopalachari who gives wonderful descriptions of the tales fitted to the modern times. He mainly uses descriptions from Valmiki, as well as brings comparative portions from Tulasi Ramcharitmanas and Tamil poet Kamban.

At one stage, he describes the events when Ram’s younger brother Bharat goes to meet and bring exiled prince Ram back to their kingdom of Ayodhya. Bharat himself is grief-stricken and ashamed of the act of his mother. He imagines the hardships that Ram, Seeta and Lakshman had to undergo because of his mother, and breaks down. But the scene on the other side is very different. Here is a portion from the book:

While Bharata was thus engaged in trying to undo the mischief wrought by others, in the forest hut at Chitrakoota, life went on fairly cheerfully. With Lakshmana and Seeta by his side, Raama lacked nothing. The grandeur of the mountain scenery and the forest and the sweet songs and play of the birds pleased his heart. He forgot the sorrow of his exile from kinsfolk and city.

“Look, Seeta, at those birds playing,” he would say. “Look at that rock on the hill with the blue, yellow and red veins shining on it. Look at these plants and creepers with their flowers. We feared life in the forest, not knowing how pleasant it would be. I am so happy here. And I have in addition to this pleasure the feeling that I carry out my father’s promise. We have the joy of duty done besides leading a happy life here. Over and above all this, I am happy that my brother Bharata is ruling the kingdom.” Thus Raama, free from sorrow himself, made Seeta happy.

(Taken from Chapter 27; ‘The Brothers Meet’; Ramayana, P163)

Here, prince Ram shows the way for generations to come. We notice how he is not down but only cheerful even though he was denied his rightful kingdom. He is cheering up his wife and perfectly playing role of an ‘ideal husband’. He embraces the harsh forest life as if it were a bed of roses. I think there is so much to learn from him, not only for Lakshman and Seeta who were at his side, but for all of us who read or listen to Ram’s tale – the Ramayana. Life is full of ups and downs, but those who take it in the right spirits with a positive attitude and keep their heads up, bring glory to their names. Shree Ram showed us this by practicing it.

- Rahul

Animal Lovers

I remember my first poem which was published in our school magazine. I had got a request for a poem and when I looked around for some inspiration, I thought about my neighbor’s dog. They had picked a cute puppy from the roadside and made it their pet. The pup became a hit in the neighborhood. But after some months, it was bitten by a diseased dog and became infected. They tried to get it treated but failed. So they took the pup to a faraway place and left it there. I wrote a touching poem in Hindi, telling about the pup’s plight…

I recall this episode today because this morning, I saw another dog on the road. It still wore a leather belt in its neck – telling about its once-privileged status. It suffered from some skin disease which had ruined its white fur. The dog had no friends and it wandered here and there. Once in a while when it saw a man approaching, as if in an expectation it waged its tail lovingly. But it got contempt in return. Even the roadside tea vendor ridiculed it – he called it by making signs to offer biscuits and when it came nearby, he threatened it and chased it away. I tried to escape from the sad scene, avoiding its eyes – but that wasn’t to happen. The dog looked at me as if searching for its old loving master.

Imagine, such pets would find it horrible to settle down in their new life because they weren’t born or raised in those conditions which make street-dogs accustomed to them.

Such abandoned pets are living examples of this life’s uncertainty. For a part of their life, they were pampered more than like family members. And now, they are rejected and hated by everyone.

I wonder – even after all this, there are terms like “Animal Lovers”. What lovers would throw their love on their streets when sick and vulnerable?

- Rahul

Recipes of a good Consultant

We had a Consulting Course. The trainer was a very effective communicator and delivered it so well. Amongst other points, he also made two important points which I want to share with others:

1) Maintaining punctuality is very important for a consultant. Perhaps only in India, we arrive late and no one raises a brow – many a time clients themselves are late. But never expect such leniency when dealing with international clients.

2) When we are in a team or with a client, we should avoid talking in a regional language which others won’t understand. Speaking in a regional or native language which some others won’t understand would make those persons feel ‘alienated’, which is never good for a professional working.

3) It is very important for consultants to ‘appear’ well-presentable. Especially when interacting with clients, one has to review one’s dress and its appropriateness for the occasion.
These small things, often neglected, contribute a long way towards making us good and successful professionals.

- Rahul

Getting Empty Subject Line Prompt in MS Outlook

If you use MS Office Outlook and sometimes send emails without a subject line, it allows you to do so. And you may not like the situation because appropriate subject lines in emails are necessary and part of net-etiquette.

If you search in the Outlook ‘Options’, you won’t find a place where you can made the configuration. There are some paid Add-Ins available which can help at a cost. But a friend shares a way to get the same warning message, free of cost.

Here are the steps:

1. Open your Microsoft Office Outlook.
2. Press Alt+F11. This opens the Visual Basic Editor and open Project-Project 1 (left side). (If this doesn’t open Project-Project 1 then press then Press Ctrl+R)
3. On the Left Pane, one can see “Microsoft Outlook Objects” or “Project1″, expand this. Now, one can see the “ThisOutLookSession”.
4. Double click on “ThisOutLookSession”. It will open up a Code Pane on the right hand side.
5. Copy and Paste the following code in the right pane (Code Pane) and save it

Private Sub Application_ItemSend(ByVal Item As Object, Cancel As Boolean)
Dim strSubject As String
strSubject = Item.Subject
If Len(Trim(strSubject)) = 0 Then
Prompt$ = “Subject is Empty. Are you sure you want to send the Mail?”
If MsgBox(Prompt$, vbYesNo + vbQuestion + vbMsgBoxSetForeground, “Check for Subject”) = vbNo Then
Cancel = True
End If
End If
End Sub

6. Now whenever you try to send a mail without subject, a pop-up is raised to remind you of the blank subject.

Donating Old Clothes through Goonj

Donating old clothes to the ones who need it but can’t afford, is a noble idea. Many times we donate old clothes to the nearby maids / servants / security guards. But at times, they are not so poor to accept those. Hence, we wonder what to do with the old clothes which get discarded every year. There are some NGOs who can help us in this regard.
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Goonj is one such NGO. It runs a campaign called “Vastra Samman” - which helps the poor with old clothes donated by us. I have donated old clothes through them when I was in Mumbai. So I thought to share this with you too.

You can search the website http://www.goonj.org/collection.html to find out Collection Centers in your city. Or just visit the homepage http://www.goonj.org/ and click on “GOONJ Offices & Dropping Centres” on the left hand side menu.

There are some guidelines for donations, e.g. all donated clothes should have been pre-washed. Please go through the clothes donation Guide Lines and other details about the NGO at: http://www.goonj.org/collection.html

I hope you would make use of this facility.

- Rahul

Difficult to be Good?

Someone asked if it is difficult to be good? Does it pay more to be dishonest?

I think the answer is yes, though it is not so simple to say yes. If one is righteous and of a good character, life is difficult for one because life favors those who are ‘flexible’. Keep lots of rules to follow and values telling you not to do this and that, and you face many road-blocks and hiccups.

From famous examples, we can recall one with Gandhi ji. He was pained when he spoke the truth but his teacher didn’t listen to him and gave him punishment. Gandhi ji said that the truthful and righteous need to be more vigilant than others, in order to survive. And that’s the key. We can choose to be good and honest, but then we would have to ensure that we maintain higher level of vigilance too.

I believe that in the end, it is your clear conscience that matters most. If you have done nothing wrong, not harmed others, didn’t have evil designs to progress, then you would be a happy man/woman from your heart. It is said that clear conscience is the best pillow. Also, I believe that those who are righteous face greater problems in life and hence they also become stronger and more virtuous. I believe many people would still favor these guys over those without a backbone, i.e. without a clear conscience.

- Rahul

Poor and Dishonest?

I went to her to get my slippers mend. She was a cobbler sitting on the road side of a location on the outskirts of Hyderabad. I guessed the price for the job would be Rs 10, or maximum 15. I haven’t seen much variation in cobbler’s charges across India. It was Mumbai first where I saw lady-cobblers; otherwise the job belongs to men in much of North India. I thought the job was slightly less demanding especially when you have a reserved small shop on the foot-path, and hence the trend would be for men to have more demanding jobs and women to occupy their place – at least in the cities. Anyways, she was doing her job and something was going on in my mind. Those days I was trying to find means to do something for the poor. I wondered if I should offer her a hundred rupee note. What if she used it to buy alcohol for herself? Should I ask her if she had young children in school and then help her with something specifically for them? My chain of thoughts got a break when I heard, “Rs 25”. What? “Rupee 25 is too much. Take Rs 10; it should be fair.”

To my surprise, she protested strongly. She started explaining about the job done which I showed to her was not much. Still, I gave her Rs 20. She said she won’t leave the remaining Rs 5. Then she commented something interesting, “You people come from UP (Uttar Pradesh) to Hyderabad and want to dictate me what should be the charge?” So it was about exploiting the “outsiders”? I got angry and asked her why she was bringing “UP” in between? If she asked Rs 100 for the job, should I give it to her only because I came from outside Hyderabad? She took a backseat hearing this. By the time two other ladies had also come to the shop and they became uncomfortable, perhaps thinking if they would also be charged exorbitantly. Anyways, I left her place after saying that I won’t give more than 20 and she could do whatever she wanted. Moments before leaving, I gave her a last glance and bewildered because I saw a “fun” in her eyes. May be such demands and encounters were “regular” for her.

Should I have given in to her demand? After all, Rs 5 or Rs 25 was not a big sum! I know that most of the street vendors are poor, but am I wrong if I expect a bit of integrity from them? And her comments on “you having come from UP” definitely gave the indication that she was treating me discriminately! Also, if people like me start giving her double the usual price, won’t she start demanding the same high price from the really poor customers too? That would be really bad. Anyways, I don’t know what I learnt from the experience, because such things happen many times in all places in this world. But one thing for sure: it broke my “charity bubble”.

- Rahul

Touching

Our company has an online bulletin board, or public folder, where people can ask for help regarding anything, or share something worthwhile and others would post answers, solutions or help. I read one message today which really touched my heart. I am sure you would feel the same. Here it goes:

Hi,

An Orphaned kitten needs a home. Its mother was killed by stray dogs. I took it home as it was injured and unable to take care of itself. It is 2 weeks old, very playful and cute. I have been looking after it for the past 4 days and its injuries have healed. I need to give it for adoption to a genuine animal lover who is willing to take care of it.

Colour: Black and Fawn.
Anyone who is interested in adopting this kitten can contact me on ………

Regards,
…..

(This is with kudos to the sender; he showed such a nice gesture by protecting the kitten)

Difficult to be Good?

Someone asked if it is difficult to be good? Does it pay more to be dishonest?
 

I think the answer is yes, though it is not so simple to say yes. If one is righteous and of a good character, life is difficult for one because life favors those who are ‘flexible’. Keep lots of rules to follow and values telling you not to do this and that, and you face many road-blocks and hiccups.
 

From famous examples, we can recall one with Gandhi ji. He was pained when he spoke the truth but his teacher didn’t listen to him and gave him punishment. Gandhi ji said that the truthful and righteous need to be more vigilant than others, in order to survive. And that’s the key. We can choose to be good and honest, but then we would have to ensure that we maintain higher level of vigilance too.
 

I believe that in the end, it is your clear conscience that matters most. If you have done nothing wrong, not harmed others, didn’t have evil designs to progress, then you would be a happy man/woman from your heart. It is said that clear conscience is the best pillow. Also, I believe that those who are righteous face greater problems in life and hence they also become stronger and more virtuous. I believe many people would still favor these guys over those without a backbone, i.e. without a clear conscience.

Karva Chauth and Feminists

A conversation between a feminist (Q) and a reformed-feminist (Me):

Q: You told me that yesterday was Karva Chauth and your wife kept a fast for you. Did you too keep a fast for her?

Me: Yes, but for one hour. When I came to know that she had not been able to see the moon and break her fast, though I was too hungry, I waited until she broke her fast. So in a way, I kept a fast for her too.

Q: That may be incidental. Why is it so that only women have to keep such fasts? Why don’t men keep such fasts?

Me: We have to understand how these festivals came into being in our society. Such festivals and customs are basically traditions. Traditionally men used to go to faraway places for their work or to earn money and hence such fasts would be inconvenient for them. Women stayed at home and hence could do the fasting, in order to show their love for their husbands. And hence mainly women keep fast, traditionally. Today, we still follow the same practice but if the lady is working and doesn’t find comfortable to do it, no one can force her. But still many women keep such fast as a token of their conjugal love.

Q: So men don’t need to show their love, and only women need to show?

Me: Men and women show their love in different ways and both make different gestures to show their love for each other. There is no harm in this; as a man doesn’t need to copy a woman and the vice versa, in order to prove they are equal.

Q: Should only women keep practicing such customs forever or a change would come?

Me: I would love to see men reciprocate the symbols of love or customs for their wives too. Personally I don’t like fasting for any reason and hence I may not love to maintain this custom, but there is no harm and only good if husbands keep fast for their wives too. I would be delighted to see that happening.

Q: I find such festivals like Karva Chauth very stupid! These are made only to subjugate and suppress women, and to maintain god like stature for men.

Me: I will tell you my experience. What did I feel when I came to know that my wife had kept Karva Chauth vrat (fast) for me? I felt humble. It was a nice and humbling feeling to know how much your wife loves you and that is why she has kept this fast for you. I supported her to maintain it properly. Such experiences only take mutual love to higher levels. I don’t see anything wrong but only good in such customs and festivals. May be at one time these festivals were maintained for some other reasons. But today, most of Hindu festivals still find relevance because their intent is good. Their inspiration is good. It is very essential to have a healthy and trusting relationship between a husband and his wife and such customs are nothing but gestures to strengthen them. I say that such festivals which give either of them an opportunity to show how much she/he cares for the other, are really nice.

Q: What about the stupid stories behind these festivals? Many of them can’t be real.

Me: Look at the inspirations and intentions behind them. I feel most of the stories and legends in Hinduism are great stories told in symbolism. Their content may belong to a different era or a different world, but their intentions are really benefitting and their messages are still very much relevant for our present generations. Dashahra is celebrated as a victory of good over evil; Diwali is celebrated as destroying darkness of ignorance by light of knowledge; Holika is burnt as a symbol of burning our desires; and then so many festivals symbolically make us respect our nature and mother earth – and I believe all these festivals give us a very relevant message for our generation too. This is why these festivals have survived for centuries. They are connected with the roots of our culture and social fiber. If a festival requires you to worship your parents as bhagwan – I see only good in it. For a festival of Raksha-bandhan, will you see it as a symbol of establishing female weakness (because she is asking her brother to protect her), or will you see it as an expression of bonding between siblings? I will prefer the later.

Q: So you recommend such old customs to continue for future generations too?

Me: Why now? If we understand their true intentions and can see that they are harmless and would only result in a healthier society, there is no harm in maintaining them forever.
Post Script: I called myself a “reformed-feminist” because once I thought I was a feminist and then I feel I grew up. In the spirit of becoming a feminist one doesn’t need to become as biased as male-chauvinists are. And if feminism makes you see violence at places where there is only love, we should better choose be happy without it.

- Rahul

Jootha?

An interesting conversation in Big Boss caught my interest. Salman Khan asked Manoj Tiwari why he disagreed to inmates eating from each-others’ dishes. He asked if Manoj found something wrong in the practice. I became curious. Indian/Hindu culture is unique in many aspects and Indians/Hindus maintain the highest aspects of ‘personal hygiene’ (as different from public one). And we have this concept of not eating other’s jootha – a word for which there is no English translation available at all! I support this practice – it’s anyone guess that eating someone else’s jootha may result in disease contraction – as jootha would contain traces of saliva; and contamination - we never know if the other person had properly washed hands or not. Salman Khan may not be knowing the background, or maybe he was casual (or tricky?) in his question. Anyways, so what did Manoj reply?

Manoj Tiwari’s reply was something like this: “I have no problems as such but I think we should not eat from someone’s plate until we know him/her properly.” He went on, “Also, I protested against them tasting the food in kitchen itself before it was served, which I found to be improper (unhygienic).” Interesting answer! It doesn’t offend anyone (which a lecture on culture or hygienic benefits would have done), and yet it is precise at the same time! I think such an art of speech really makes one very popular. And it is not everyone’s cup of tea.

- Rahul