“Ham to nahi dekhe hain”

Kiddo’s grandmother called him and after the initial first couple of months, there was a gap of about 5 years. He was informed that “daadi” (grandmother) was on phone. He picked up the phone and what he said in first sentence, floored me.

He said, “ham to nahi dekhe hain” (But I have not seen you yet). He said it in such an innocent manner and without any malice from the adult world. Well, it is true that he had not seen her from the time he remembers things around him. Normally, when we talk to someone over phone, the caller’s mental image comes in front of our eyes while we talk. But if we have never met the other person, we adults still try to make a bit of an image, based on the voice, tone and mannerism. But, how could a 5-year-old kid make a mental image of his grandmother when he never met her? That is why, the first thing he said was, “I have never met you!” It was so honest and so touching.

He talked nicely. And when asked about his mother, he said, “Wo duty jaati hai aur fir aati hai.” (She goes to work and comes back later). For the kid, mother going out of home and returning to home, both were “events” worth remembering. Normally, if same question is asked to a grownup person, one can just say, “she goes”. But, the kid had to mention both the going and the coming, because both were very significant events for him.

Children are ancient sages in disguise.

- Rahul Tiwary

Vijay Mallya Unseen Pictures from Younger Days

Source: ‘Bad Boys Billionaires: India’. Really liked the “King of Good Times” episode.

I still wish he returns to India, faces trial, returns all the money owed to the banks, and clears most of the bad name he earned in recent years. That will be a twist and ‘happy ending’ most movies won’t have.

- Rahul Tiwary 

Some Movie Moments and Dialogues

 

“An immature man wants to die nobly for a cause” ('Sun Dogs')

“I mean, travel is overrated.” (Sun Dogs)

“Without the glasses, you are not even ugly”. (from the Talented Mr. Ripley. This was said to Mat Damon, whom I had already noticed got a not handsome face.)

“It is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all” (‘Framing John DeLorean’)

“It is excellent to have a Giant’s strength… But it is tyrannous to use it like a Giant.” (quote from William Shakespeare)

“Street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression.” (from ‘Clueless’)

“Nobody would suspect us. We are women.” (‘Red Joan’)

“I used to think art was just bourgeois decadence, but…” (‘It’s kind of a funny story’)

“They are communists. Else why would they come at night?” (‘The Lady in the Van’)

“Pride goes before a fall.”

“Fortune favours fools, and success is the father of regret.” (from ‘A Fortunate Man’)

- Rahul Tiwary

Amrapali of Vaishali and Ajatshatru of Magadh

 

Long back during school days, I had read a book from my grandfather’s book collection, whose title I have forgotten now. But, most probably, it was वैशाली की नगरवधू (‘Vaishali Ki Nagar Vadhu’), by Acharya Chatursen. I remember some pages from the book now. Then, I happened to find this movie Amrapali (1966) on Netflix and watched it. They have done a great job by converting the movie it in color now.

At the beginning of the movie, the map of India is shown. Whenever I see this map, I get goosebumps. We have been often taught that India was but a set of small kingdoms in history. So what? Time to time, some great kings used to unify all areas into their great kingdoms. In those days, means of communication were very difficult and it was almost impossible to have large kingdoms. Still, we had kingdoms like Magadh (Present day Bihar) which was huge.

The main character of the movie is Ajatshatru, played by Sunil Dutt. Ajatashatru (492 to 460 BCE) was a king of the Haryanka dynasty of Magadha in East India (present day Bihar). He was the son of King Bimbisara and was a contemporary of both Mahavira and Gautama Buddha. He fought a war against Vajji, ruled by the Lichchhavis, and conquered the republic of Vesali. The city of Pataliputra was formed by by Ajatashatru. Ajatashatru followed policies of conquest and expansion. He defeated his neighbours including the king of Kosala. Ajatashatru occupied Kashi and captured the smaller kingdoms. Magadha under Ajatashatru became the most powerful kingdom in North India.

The movie begins with a war scene. The war scenes are very well shot, given that those days there were not many technologies available. There was a whole row of elephants involved in the war. It must have been challenging to shoot the war sequence without any injuries.

The movie shows a few novelties. Ajatshatru was fighting multiple soldiers single handedly, rotating his sword in the manner in which they have shown Bajirao Peshwa doing it in the recent movie Bajirao Mastani.

The chariot had this weapon, which was also shown in the famous movie Bahubali! I read that Ajatshatru is the inventor of two weapons used in war: the rathamusala (scythed chariot) and the mahashilakantaka (engine to eject big stones).

Using these machines, they were throwing rolls of fire on the enemy army. This has been shown in so many Hollywood movies too.

 Now coming to Vaishali. Vaishali which is near present day Muzaffarpur in Bihar, is known to have one of the most ancient democracies. It is called world’s first Republic.

The movie shows Vyjayanthi Mala in the role of Amrapali. She has given an immortal performance in the movie. Not for a moment she appears as an actress; it seems we are seeing real Amrapali. 

Amrapali is the Chief Dancer of Vaishali. When Ajatshatru, the king of Magadh attacks Vaishali, she asks her friend to bring his head to her as a gift. Amrapali is known to have developed one of the strongest bonds of patriotism.

Ajatshatru falls in love with Amrapali. He says, “An emperor is also a human being”, justifying his love for a dancer who was below his status. 

Ajatshatru attacks Vaishali in order to save and marry Amrapali.

People accuse Amrapali of treachery and she is publicly shamed. To my surprise, this was very similar to Game of Throne’s “Walk of Shame” except its nudity and vulgarity.

Ajatshatru comes to meet Amrapali. Look at the excellent set that is shown in the background. They made this in 1966!

Amrapali is devastated that her kingdom was destroyed indirectly because of her! Look at the dialogues, those are so powerful. She accuses Ajatshatru of murdering so many women just for one woman! So powerful.

 

Ajatshatru is devastated at seeing only hatred in Amrapali despite the fact that he defeated Vaishali’s army only to save Amrapali’s life. She can’t tolerate “hatred” in her eyes and Sunil Dutt has given such a touching performance. He says, “Do not look at me with so much hatred”. It was such a touching moment. The cruelest thing in this world is for a lover to receive hatred in return for his love.

Sunil Dutt and Vyjayanthimala have given an immortal performance. This movie and this story will remain in the classic pieces of arts and literature from India.

Blessed to have watched it.

- Rahul Tiwary 

‘Ray’ Web Series

 

Ray is a web series which released on Netflix recently. It is based on Satyajit Ray’s short stories. Its first season has 4 episodes, all are different in genre and nature.

#1: “Forget Me Not”

In this story, a woman (Maggie) takes revenge on a very successful entrepreneur (Ipsit Nayar) for making her abort her pregnancy after having an affair with her. As a revenge, she takes help from his friends and colleagues, and makes him believe that he was suffering from a mental illness, and in the end, he actually turns mad. The movie focuses on her abortion, in order to show her as a kind of hero while showing Ipsit (Ali Faizal) as a villain. But was it really the case there?

Although I am not a fan of abortions in general, but I do not like the way movie and fiction writers show it as a very evil thing. Most movies and fiction writers do a deliberate mistake of showing a baby as only the mother’s product and show as if the father was a “perpetrator” and not a victim. But the fact is that the mother and father are equally responsible for a pregnancy to happen and hence both are equal in that sense. Maggie, the woman in this movie took revenge on Ipsit, but the fact is that she had voluntarily made relationship with him and she had herself aborted the fetus. If she decided to keep the baby, she could have found a way. But she blamed the man for her own failure. Secondly, his friend Anil who became a peon in Ipsit’s office, was not forced or duped to become so. He voluntarily accepted that position and if he wanted, he could have declined. Same for another colleague who wanted to be recognized as equal partner. He was always free to resign and start his own company; if he though Ipsit was taking credit for his work!

I personally did not like Ipsit’s character or anything he did, but I can’t imagine that he was so evil that he should be punished in this cruelest manner.

#2: Bahrupiya

In this story, main character is played by KK Menon who has once again given a master class performance. I won’t reveal the whole story, but the moral of the story was very apt and practical. In a way, it was Karma in action. Although I do not approve of the unnecessary adult content shown in it. Since OTT platforms are not regulated by government, the producers of movies and web series put too much vulgar language and scenes. This is the reason I avoid watching movies on platforms like Neflix and choose to watch on TV, since the content is always censored.

#3: Hungama Hai Kyon Barpa

In this episode, Manoj Bajpayee has given another gem of a performance. His role as poet (Shayar) Musafir Ali will always be remembered for such a soulful performance. Manoj Bajpayee appears so naturally in this role, that you will be left astonished. The story is simply superb and the ending is totally unpredictable. I would remember this and the earlier part’s stories also for the genius story.

#4: Spotlight

Last in the season 1, this came as a huge surprise. Harshvardhan Kapoor has given a brilliant performance, which appears much matured and balanced. The character demanded a versatility in the actor and he has given a gem of a performance. Radhika Madan as a god woman “Didi” has given an equally stunning performance. I have not watched many of her movies, and I was really impressed by her performance in this one. In the climax scene where she displayed supernatural phenomenon and every one folded hands watching her, my hands got folded too and it felt like she was an avatar of Goddess Durga.

In general, Ray is certainly worth a watch if you are interested in brilliant stories and some out of the box concepts on action in Indian cinema.

- Rahul Tiwary

Watching Gangs of Wasseypur for Second Time

Recently, I watched both parts of movie series “Gangs of Wassepur”. I watched Part-2 first. I remember that when the movie had released in theatres in year 2012, I had gone to a theatre to watch it but I had to leave mid-way because I could not tolerate the violence shown on screen. This time, since I was watching on a phone screen and also for the second time, I was not affected that much. I skipped a few scenes wherever I felt like. Hence, even though the impact of story telling in the movie was full; I was not impacted as much by the negativity and violence.

I also noticed that when Part-2 was released, at that time I had not identified actors like Vineet Kumar Singh and Rajkumar Rao. Manoj Bajpaee’s impact was looming over the second part too, even if he had no role in it. Tigmanshu Dhulia in epic character of Ramadhar Singh, even though in old age, was still soulful. I could also notice that although Nawazuddin Siddiqui played his role very well, I wonder if anyone on earth could identify with his character. I blame his personality for that. In any good movie, audiences are able to identify in part with the hero as well as villain. But When Nawaz plays roles like these, I guess no one gets do to it.

I noticed that in Part-2, Vineet Singh had played his role much impactfully than Rajkumar Rao. Even though Vineet’s role was short, he was appeared as a really brilliant actor. Rajkumar Rao’s role was not too short, but I could not find him creating any memorable performance.

I also wondered why Ramadhar Singh did not shoot Nawaz in the final scene, even though he held a gun in his hand. By virtue of all his cunningness and strength, he should have shot, even if the shot missed the target. But the movie shows him pulling his hand down, as if in surrender. And then Nawaz does this epic episode of emptying multiple guns on him. Which actually is illogical because he was wasting too much time in this process while he was hold up in the bathroom. He should have shot and fled. But the movie maker tried to create a memorable scene there, and tried to depict his hatred which culminated in a sadist burst of anger. Still, I can’t imagine any real reason why Ramadhar Singh was so dejected that he gave up and surrendered like that. I think it was shown that way to make Nawaj appear the total victor.

Zeishan Quadri, who played Definite’s role was epic. All through the movie, he performed so well. I wonder why we do not see him in many other movies after GOW-2.

I wanted the Part-1 later on, and did not like it as much as Part-2. I guess we should never watch a movie sequel in wrong order. But, I noticed that Part-1 is dominated by Manoj Bajpai who has given such a powerful performance that he eclipses everyone else. Nawazuddin Siddiquia looks like a novice in front of him, and Pankaj Tripathi and Tigmanshu Dhulia’s powerful performance also appears regular.

After watching Part-1, I thought that Ramadhar Singh should have given more respect to his son JP Singh and listened to him. If JP Singh had his way, he would have eliminated all members of Sardar Khan’s family much before. The manner in which Singh family was insulted by Sardar Khan and later by Faizal, was the result of tolerating the enemies too much and for too long. The script writers gave a consolation by showing that JP Singh managed to get into power, by conspiring to eliminate his own father. This could have been avoided if Ramadhir Singh was not so arrogant. But it is also not practical that a cunning wise man like him would ignore his own son’s aspirations for so long. Movie writers have to show unrealistic things in order to shock viewers, I guess.  

- Rahul Tiwary

'Papa Takle Ho Gaye'

 

Picture credit

There is a neighborhood kid of about 6 who used to play with me a lot. He was visiting our home after a few weeks. I had recently colored my hair, hence I showed it to him and asked him how did my grey hair turn into total black? He did not reply. After repeating the question and making him recall how my hair had lots of whites earlier, he finally said that he did not know how it turned back. I realized that he had not noticed my hair; whether grey or white! It reminded me of another incident.

My kids were seeing me after a long gap. My daughter was about 3.5. I went to get a hair cut and as soon as I returned home, she came, noticed me, and said, “Papa takle ho gaye”, pointing to my short hair! She had not only noticed that I had a haircut, but she had also noticed that I had short hair now! Plus, she thought to share her observation with me. I was really impressed with her intelligence as well as thoughtfulness. And somewhere, it was also got to do with gender. My son did not notice my haircut at all!

At any given age, we can notice in small children that most of the times girls are cleverer than boys. Their minds work in slightly different manner than boys. We can notice the differences in the way they choose toys or express themselves. Now, imagine a society which tries to raise boys and girls in the same manner! Will that be called feminism? By all means, it will cause harm to both boys and girls. We need not force our gender-righteousness on our kids. Let girls be ‘girly’ and boys be like ‘boys’ if their natural inclinations are showing in that manner. Let us not force them to behave and be the “same”.

Thoughts triggered by the kind of news media outlets expose to me these days.

- Rahul Tiwary

1st June, 200*: The Bus Ride

1^st of June triggers a few interesting memories from my past. It was 1^st of June, when I joined my first job after completing my engineering. Despite many years have passed, I have vivid memories of a few things, due to the nature of those. I remember the day I landed in the city where I was to join my job – Kolkata.

My date of joining was one of the earliest in our batch. Just a few days ago, our last papers were done. I had vacated my hostel and went to a relative’s place for a few days. I needed money for my expenses. In those days, there were no internet banking or ATM cards. My father often gave me cheques which I deposited in my SBI bank account at our college branch, and then stood in long queues spending a few hours in order to withdraw money every time. There were no mobile phones and I needed to stand in long queues in front of PCO (Public Calling Office) booths, in order to make STD call to my parents’ landline phone number. Because of the nature of urgency, I was asked to visit the relative’s place, spend a couple of days there and take money from them. I even had to buy a luggage there, because I did not have any proper big size luggage after leaving the hostel. A day before 1^st of June, I caught a train to reach Howrah. No AC compartment, and perhaps an unreserved ticket since the distance was not much.

I arrived at Howrah railway station and came out dragging my luggage. I had visited the city a few times before, twice visiting the Passport Office and once for site seeing. Even in those days, I loved visiting places and monuments of historical importance, as I found those inspiring. After I came out of the railway station, I found myself in middle of a crowded mess. I talked to a few taxis who were charging very high fare. Then, someone suggested that the public bus that was standing nearby was about to leave and it would drop me exactly at the place I wanted to go. Quickly, I entered the bus, carrying my big luggage. I had no idea of what was in store there for me.

The public bus was too crowded. I could not get a seat and hence I just stood. But I had to put my luggage somewhere and hence I put it by the side of one seat, trying to cause less inconvenience to others. But I soon realized that it was indeed much inconvenient to others. The bus started and when the conductor came to offer me ticket, he objected to the luggage and I offered him to buy one more ticket, so that it is accounted for. But by that time, the other passengers had already watched me, understood me, and even formed an opinion about me. They soon delivered a verdict that I was nuisance creator, too selfish and a miser. A person started saying loudly that I should have taken a taxi instead of boarding a bus. Then, another person, from far away in the bus, started complaining about increasing selfishness in society. Then, another man said something else about me. They were all talking in Bengali, which I could understand only little, but I had understood their meaning. The bus was too crowded, exit gates were packed, and I could not deboard it even if I tried to. During whole journey, which felt too long to me, people kept discussing me and my luggage. All the while, I was standing in the over-crowded bus, being subjected to ridicule as a punishment for my ‘sin’ of having entered it. I had experienced discrimination and things like regionalism before, and I knew how to deal with it: keep silent and tolerate it all. So, I did exactly that.

Next day at office, I came to know that travel expenses including local conveyance was to be reimbursed by the company and hence I should have taken the costly taxi at the railway station! A young engineer from a small town, it was certainly a steep learning curve for me. From the same day onward, I started taking taxi to travel between office and the hotel the company had booked for me. There are perks of being a ‘corporate slave’ as they say, and we need to enjoy the ride, learning the ropes on the way.

- Rahul Tiwary 

Article: Femininity is Fragile

I came across a writeup and found it really interesting. I am sharing some portions of it here in this blog post. At the end of the writeup, two web links are given, to explore more from the author.

This is just for reflections. I am sure you would find many of these relatable with someone you know, or even with your life experiences.

***

You pay for the sins of every guy that ** her up before you met her. Her father, her ex etc.

Because the trauma from her suffering typically overshadows the wisdom from her experiences.

Women do not improve with use. They deteriorate.

Deep down everybody knows this.

This is why being the first love of a woman of a good father is the best shot you'll ever have.

This is why traditionally women were married off young as virgins.

Because women are fragile, and as they accumulate experience they accumulate trauma that ruins them for romance.

The feminine is not built for stress. It is the masculine that is forged through the traumas of suffering, not the feminine. Women who actively have to work on being feminine aren't ascending to a higher stage, they're trying to get back something they had but lost to suffering.

The feminine is in its natural state, complete. The same cannot be said for the masculine. The masculine undergoes a journey which requires the integration of the shadow and the shedding and loss of innocence to truly self-actualise. Women attempting the same journey will implode.

There is no man you would truly consider a man who hasn't paid a trip to hell. Those are the fees we pay. That's the cost of being man. A woman who went to hell is a shadow of her former self because hell destroys femininity. Which is why it strengthens men and destroys women.

Not every man survives hell. The weak ones suicide, or become sociopathic - highly emotional, unbalanced and destructive men who lash out at everything aggressively in the same way your typical feminist woman does.

But men *CAN* make the trip and be better for it.

Women cannot.

***

Men do "need to get in touch with their softer side" but not until they've been to hell, survived, made peace with it and come out the other end free of resentment and bitterness, but fortified by their experiences into a man.

And its a good woman's love that brings that out.

The reason for this is simple. If you've been to hell, you became a monster to beat a monster, and if you're not careful, that monster will possess you (sociopathy). Connecting with your softer side is thus a counterbalance to the evil that lurks within you and helps centre you.

***

Femininity is fragile and easily snuffed out.

Warm eyes, a coy stare, a gentle smile, a general cheeriness, a shy giggle, modesty, grace and a pure heart - when's the last time you observed the captivating beauty of healthy femininity?

That's what's hard to cultivate & easily snuffed out. Their spiritual beauty is fragile.

And when they lose their spiritual beauty, all that remains is their quasi impersonation of the masculine, and the negative elements of the feminine.

And you know what this looks like, because you've met plenty of feminists.

They are all damaged, failed women.

It's very sad.

***

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Thanks for reading!

Illness Should Teach Us Life Lessons

In our life, we take many things for granted. We assume that those things will continue in future and we do not need to make efforts to retain those. Taking some things for granted allows us to focus on fewer things, which improves our performance and leads to success. Think how difficult our life would be if we were to focus on everything or think, plan and work on 20 things at the same time, every day! So, while this habit allows us to succeed in our areas of interest, with time we forget that even though we do not need to actively work on some things, we should not take those for granted either!

A serious illness can act as a “wakeup call” for most of us. We realize that when we can’t even take our health “for granted”, what more certainties do we have in life?

“Loss of health can lead us to serious insecurities”

Every human mind is “wired” in a way where it will try to survive. And events of serious illness are the moments of “truth” where the conscious as well as subconscious minds must be on their best to fight the external ailment. But, especially if illness can prolong, one can be left wondering about one’s own safety and this can lead to feelings of insecurities in life. While some of this is natural and expected, too much of anything is not good. Therefore, we should try to avoid doing too much of worrying.

Most of us do not realize that good health is an outcome of our activities and ways of life. If we play by the rules, most of the time we are safe. If we violate the rules of nature, we are at risk. We may be saved by virtue of our good luck, but luck does not help same person all the time. If we realize that we are responsible for our health and we need to actively protect it, the battle is won.

Incidents of serious illness should lead us to “prioritize” things in our life. For example, if we were prioritizing our career over our family and an illness scar makes us realize that we were going to lose both career and family and “in the end”, our career and degrees won’t count, we shall be in for a shock. Times of illness are where we play by the “basic rules”. No amount of money can secure us proper health care, as we have seen time and again where celebrities and very rich people have also suffered because the healthcare professionals assigned to them did not do their duties right. A “family” can really make difference in such cases.

The other day I was watching a movie named “Rules Don’t Apply”. A big businessman avoided marrying late into his life and depended on hired employees for most of his work. But those employees could just “resign” and go away. Could he find trusted person every time? It is more difficult to find an honest person in this world, than discovering a goldmine.

We hope that the current situation of pandemic and bad news from all around also forces our society to think about its priorities as a whole. Were we valuing the right things? Should we have taken things for granted as we did and should we have prioritized material successes over human values? The answers are simple, but the trick is to sink those deep into our minds so that we never forget those.

Hope this crisis brings out something better in all of us and as a society, we become a better one with time.

सर्वे भवन्तु सुखिनः सर्वे सन्तु निरामयाः।

सर्वे भद्राणि पश्यन्तु मा कश्चिद्दुःखभाग् भवेत्।।

sarve bhavantu sukhinaḥ sarve santu nirāmayāḥ|

sarve bhadrāṇi paśyantu mā kaścidduḥkhabhāg bhavet||

“May all be happy; May all be free from infirmities; May all see good; May none partake suffering.”

- Rahul Tiwary

Travelogue: Shri Ram Janaki Mandir, Chhapra Megh, Muzaffarpur, Bihar

 

- Rahul Tiwary