Failed Prejudices

How we keep some prejudices and how they affect us, can be seen in an experience I had recently.

I had lost my driving license (wallet got stolen in the office) and wanted to file a police report to reissue it. Now I had a feeling that police were corrupt and were better to be avoided. So I kept postponing my visit to them. I had never been to one in my life and didn’t want to either. But every passing week reminded me of my stupidity – what if someone misused my license in the meanwhile? Every morning I would promise myself to pay a visit in the evening and on the evening; I would vow to visit next morning. After stretching it to the end, at last I won over my fears and went to the police station. To my surprise, the police station looked like a typical government office, with all the guys there doing some paperwork. No criminals being beaten and no poor father pleading for his son. The police wallah asked me what the matter was, and asked me to make an affidavit with the advocate next door and then they would do the needful. I got that in 2 days – after spending 300 bucks as a penalty for losing my wallet. I went there again, wondering if the police would ask for a bribe. I took care to keep my mouth shut and hide my fears. I also wondered how “Maharashtra” police would react seeing that my license was “made in Bihar”. (was in Mumbai when “anti-outsider” riots had hit the roads). The guy preparing a certificate for me showed me a bunch of receipts for “flag ceremony” and said, “there are people who feel happy after their work is done; and then they donate some 200-500 rupees for the cause. It goes for the ceremony, not to us”. At last, my fears were right? I felt it was a nice way of extorting bribe; but I kept mum. He finished preparing a certificate, all printed and written in Marathi. I asked gently if there would be any problem if I present that in Bihar? He said, “Marathi and Hindi both are similar; they also have the same script; so don’t worry, they would be able to understand what I have written even there.” No sign of any hatred towards Hindi (or any non-Marathi language). When I got a chance, I pulled myself up and crossed the road asap. No one asked me for any donation for the flag-ceremony.

The visit to the police station had broken many of my prejudices: 1. I thought Police would be corrupt, but they didn’t ask for any bribe; 2. I feared they would be hostile seeing me from “North India”, while they were neutral on that; 3. I thought they would be angry at the matter of “language”, but they actually thought Hindi and Marathi were similar. Also, I thought police station would be some dreadful place while actually it was like any government office. All my prejudices had proven to be wrong…

It’s not that my experience with the police was nice enough to encourage me to go back there again, but it definitely made me shed some of my prejudices. It reminded me something which I often repeat but perhaps didn’t believe 100% in yet - there are all kinds of persons in every land and every profession…

Happy with my failed prejudices…

- Rahul

Advertisements:

 

Having a company is nice

Watched the movie ‘Up in the Air’ starring George Clooney. His character is a free man who doesn’t believe in marriage or any social commitment. He lives like that for years, dating women whenever he found interest in, and just travelling around the world which was part of his job. At one stage his sister’s to-wed fiancé develops a cold feed the day before their wedding and he was asked to convince the guy. He enters with a clean slate, and managed to find logic. He says something like, “Remember all the best moments in your life. Did you enjoy them alone?” The guys says, “no”. He hits the nail then, “That’s it. All the best moments in our life are enjoyed in someone’s company… It’s nice to have company…” The scared groom had a change of mind and everything turns out well…

That is so true. All things we enjoy in our life have some other people involved in it. Our spouse is that ‘permanent’ company. We are social beings, and having a permanent company and friend gives us emotional strength. On the other side of the coin, we can tend to depend excessively on others for those pleasures of our life. And theoretically there may be things for which we need our ‘space’, but I think there are very few things, if any, which can’t be enjoyed with our companion with us. Purpose of our life is also to learn by having relationships.

- Rahul

Anyone who claims to be an atheist is in fact a believer

Today, I tweeted at my Twitter site http://www.twitter.com/rahulbemba:

Anyone who claims to be an “atheist”; is in fact a “believer”. - Rahul

Someone asked me “how?" Here was my explanation:

If we think, atheism is also a “belief”. The person, who takes care not to believe in the conventional religions or wisdom which are at the end a “pattern”, can also be believing in a “pattern”. His anti-belief is also a belief; his anti-pattern is also a pattern. For example, just like devotees salute in front of the deity as a practice, he makes sure that he doesn’t salute – as a practice too! He thinks he is doing something new, but it is the same old in a different mould.

My own thoughts on this is that we should be free from the dogma, even if we call ourselves religious. Also, I believe we should be free from both pro- and anti- things... We don't have to be opposite of anything, but we should be free from all patterns, even from atheism... As you would observe, anything ending in an "ism" is a pattern, including atheism... Anything which can be described in an "ism", like atheism, is a pattern, and hence has a belief system… This is why I say, those who call themselves atheists, are in fact believers…

- Rahul

Forgive, Forget and Let Go

Got this wonderful forwarded email from a friend:
 

Professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see & asked the students “How much do you think this glass weighs?”
 

’50gms!’ ….. ’100gms!’ …..’125gms’ …the students answered.
 

“I really don’t know unless I weigh it,” said the professor, “but, my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?”
 

‘Nothing’ …..the students said.
 

‘Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?’ the professor asked.
 

‘Your arm would begin to ache’ said one of the student
 

“You’re right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?”
 

“Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis & have to go to hospital for sure!” ….. ventured another student & all the students laughed
 

“Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?” asked the professor.
 

‘No’…. Was the answer.
 

“Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?”
 

The students were puzzled.
 

“What should I do now to come out of pain?” asked professor again.
 

“Put the glass down!” said one of the students
 

“Exactly!” said the professor.
 

Life’s problems are something like this. Hold it for a few minutes in your head & they seem OK.
 

Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache. Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.
 

It’s important to think of the challenges or problems in your life, But EVEN MORE IMPORTANT is to ‘PUT THEM DOWN’ at the end of every day before You go to sleep..
 

That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh &strong & can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!

My Experience with Art of Living Yes+ Course

I recently attended the Art of Living (AOL)’s Yes+ course. YES+ stands for Youth Empowerment and Skills Seminar. I had heard about AOL a long time back when I was in my engineering college. AOL representatives had come to our college and had given a very nice talk. But at that time I had not attended the course because (1) there was a donation involved with it, (2) I thought Yoga and meditation are for old people, and (3) most of my friends had not done it. Now that time has changed and I got to realize my mistake in perceptions, I didn’t miss attending it. This time AOL was conducting sessions very near to my home (as well as our office). At the end of the program, I came out with a rich experience and very useful knowledge.

Yes+ course is designed for the youth (18-30 years). So the program is packed with life-changing thoughts and ideas most applicable for the youth. We had talks on how to make most of life; how to have good relationships; keeping gratitude towards parents; active role in society; and also what kinds of food are the best and why. I liked the scientific manner in which the trainers explained each concept – from why to avoid leather articles, or meat eating, or even tea/coffee. Youth are at very inquisitive stage but the knowledgeable trainers could clearly satisfy all the queries. Along with the talks which were mostly demonstrated with performing some practical exercise or tasks, we learnt many enlightening Yoga techniques. Most of the participants had wonderful experiences with the Yoga session.

The powerful spiritual flow into the content was really amazing. (I am not sharing much of the activities otherwise it may subdue the surprise element in newcomers.) Every day we were given some very interesting home-works. We also had Q&A sessions with the trainers in which we could ask them any doubts in our mind. I also loved the way trainers answered some controversial questions. They were also very much supportive of other Gurus, like Baba Ramdev. It was heartening to realize that the AOL guys practice what they preach. No surprise that when our teacher shared his own life story and his journey to AOL, all of us were touched. On the last day, we also ran through some videos introducing us to the world of Art of Living.

What an enlightening experience it has been. It ran for 6 days – first 4 days for us were in the evenings and then two long sessions ran on the weekends. I found the organization and structure of the training simply brilliant. Given that so many highly qualified and successful guys from top universities are part of AOL, it came as no surprise. Another aspect of the course was that we came to know so many nice individuals (as participants) – who are now good friends.

You can check these websites: http://www.yesplus.org/ and http://www.artofliving.org/yes-plus 

We were informed that advance Yes+ course is being organized soon in Bangalore. Hope to attend it someday. Till then, I have to maintain and improve on the Yogic path shown by AOL. AOL also conducts many other courses for people of all ages. I highly recommend the AOL courses for each one of us…

With heartfelt thanks to AOL and trainers,

Jai Gurudev!

Rahul

 

Good Food - A Bachelor’s Delight and a Nightmare

Though a bachelor’s life has theoretically some fun, for me it became a nightmare because of one factor: food. In those days, it seemed good homemade food was no less than a panacea. This is why one of the nicest and toughest memories of each phase of my single life has been none other than related to food. While I was in Lucknow preparing for IIT-JEE, I would often go to the nearest roadside vendor, eat whatever came in the name of roti/puri and rush back to study a little more. No wonder, health had never been a concern before that time. When in  engg college, one soul cleansing act was to go to the road side again and eat hot doodh-roti in a bowl. If there were no road side vendors, not many students would have become engineers I guess. In Mumbai, I became fan of big size samosas and for the first time got habitual to poha and kachori. When I recall my single life, it seems I was always starving. And good homemade food was such a hard catch!

Given the background, it became clear to me after one or two episodes that if someone offered me good homemade food, s/he was basically buying my soul. There was a lady blogger who posted a blog with some pictures of her delicious dishes. When I complimented her, she promised to offer me a sumptuous lunch if we ever met. The feeling in my heart was of boundless gratitude and humbleness. Anyone who made me have a homemade food was kind of buying a part of me. Then I also grew uncomfortable and shy receiving the kindness; but the luring of good food was always victorious. And at times this luring turned out to be nightmare…

I still remember that day clearly. During my MBA days I had not visited home for many months. I felt homesick each day. One morning, when I opened the door for some visitor, I found a lady, perhaps someone’s housemaid, distributing sweets which had come along with a new bride. Now at home, mother would always be cautious against we eating anything that came from the outside. But here, I was all alone. The sweet was basically bundi, which brought back memories from the childhood. It was years after which I could eat that sweet; so I finished it in 2 minutes… Perhaps I was not meant to be happy that day, so just in a while I suffered from acute diarrhoea. The memory of that day still brings tears to my eyes. Starved of home made food and homesick for anything which could remind me of home, I got some sweets reaching me by chance; but those made me sick… This did repeat many times afterwards also; as bachelorhood was a curse indeed…

I am so grateful to God that I got a wife who loves cooking :) I am not ashamed to say that the nicest memories of we together has some food made by her as inseparable part. This is why I am a strong believer that women should always know how to cook: that may mean a lot to many, but it is lifesaving for people like me. Still, whenever wife is not with me and I have to rely on restaurants, I face some hard time preserving my health. If I find something delicious, it would upset my stomach; and all digestible things seem to be coarse and tasteless. And then I know I am hiding a sin: if I took interest and learnt how to cook, perhaps I won’t have faced this much hardship. But then I won’t have had so many memories to go back into too!

Have a happy dinnertime!

- Rahul

My Wordpress Blog: Rahul Reads

Here is my Wordpress Blog: http://rahulreads.wordpress.com/

It is another micro-blog from this Blogger.com blog, based on my book reviews.

Is new prosperity creating raw deals for some working women?

Rukmini was a girl who grew up under fond encouragement of her parents. She grew up with a dream in her eyes – to be financially independent and to work and make use of her eduction. She saw her dream come true when she got a partner after marriage who allowed her to pursue her career. She cherished her first salary which she donated in total to an old-age home. Within a few years, her businessman husband got it all coming in his ways and achieved a grand success. His business thrived on a web based business model and the influx of high earning young population. And then, he asked his wife to quit her job and “look after the children”.

Rukmini had to quit her job. She had a Hobson’s choice between her family and her job.

This story is a quite real; it is happening behind the walls of 3/4BHK flats in high-rise Indian Metros. And the factor responsible for this trend is: high economic growth and the tremendous opportunities created by it.

I wonder if India’s high GDP growth and the new economic successes are creating raw deals for some women. Just a decade earlier, it was thought that both husband-wife working was a necessity to survive. With salaries for highly educated professionals and profits of successful new-age entrepreneurs going beyond the roof, this is not true anymore. And when it comes to re-prioritizing, it is mostly women who are asked to stay back at home and raise the children.

Indeed, this trend is one flip side to India’s growth story…

- Rahul

Article Published: 10 Reasons Why Airline Industry Is Unique

My article titled “10 Reasons Why Airline Industry Is Unique” is now published on MBASkool.com. Here is the link:

http://www.mbaskool.com/business-articles/marketing/207-ten-reasons-why-airline-industry-is-unique.html

In this article, I have tried to analyze how the airline industry is so unique, covering the business model, government interventions, profitability, safety concerns and a host of other factors. The inspiration for the analysis and report was a quote from Richard Branson. When asked how to become a Millionaire, Richard Branson said, “You start off as a Billionaire and then open an Airline.” I found this funny, but at the same time it was so true!

Read this article to know more…

Regards,

Rahul

Role of Expression in Parent Child Relationship

Have you seen your parents cry?

I guess you may not have seen it many times. But how would be the feeling? I guess that would take the world out of you…

Does it happen the same way when parents see their children cry?

Do they get a sinking feeling when they see their children cry? Do they see the world collapse in front of their stoned eyes; do they feel something as if bursting out in their hearts? I guess we would answer in the negation. They must not feel so deeply every time they see their children cry. After all, they are grownups. They are mature, have seen life and are not easily shaken. But even then there should be times and situations when no matter how much they have seen life, all would seem trivial; when no matter how grownup they are they would feel helpless in front of the situation. I hope you would agree with me. In those situations, what do you think - would their pain and grief be graver than ours? I think it is difficult to answer, though the pointer would be tilted towards “yes”.

I think we take expression too seriously. If we love someone, we are taught that we should express so. If we like someone, we should tell him or her how much they are for us. After some time, we tend to think “seriously” that expression is a necessary indication of what goes inside our heart. It may not always be so! And this is where I find connect with my example of parent-child pain situation.

If parents start expressing all their pains, problems and objections, I think our life would become very depressed. On the other hand, though we would always love to see them express their happiness, pleasure and applause, this knowledge can also make us over confident, relaxed and uncaring in extreme situations. Therefore, I think “trust” is an immensely important ingredient in a parent-child relationship. Though it is important in all other relationships too, it plays a very critical role in parent-child relationship because when children grow up and become laden with responsibilities while parents become old and non-contributing in worldly matters, the dynamics of relationship changes. A “trust” between them makes them perceive, imagine, empathize and feel more than simply react according to the expressions of the other.

I think expression is important, but not always necessary. It is good, but its absence is not always bad. A trustful relationship based on mutual empathy would turn the silence into another language of expression…

- Rahul

Ironing Clothes

I iron my own clothes. It saves lots of time and hassles for me. Today when I was ironing my shirt, I noticed how it worked. The shirt I picked up was clean and dried. But merely being clean didn’t matter – it had to be wrinkle free. When I ironed it, it eliminated all its wrinkles and made it appear perfect. But the process of ironing may not be very pleasant for the cloth. After all, it would heat the fabric, and then rubbed on the surface to give that perfect touch. This made me think: the process to attain perfection is almost always through some unpleasant experiences or challenges. It is also reflected in the oft repeated anecdote: gold attains purity only by getting melted in a furnace…

I kept watching the hot press move, the wrinkles vanish and my shirt becoming wearable… The difficulties and challenges in our life making us and our approach closer towards perfection…

- Rahul

Lessons Learnt - Online

Learnt these lessons:

1) Arrogance is a disqualifier for friendship.

2) We should learn to keep friends who are more intelligent than us, for our own benefit.

3) There is fine line between admiration and flattery and we should not become victim of the later.

4) Expecting flattery from friends means having only weaklings as friends who would not only dump us in critical times but lead us towards mediocrity.

5) Online friendships are often a ‘waste’ of time/energy and can be ‘dangerous’ too.

6) Intelligence breeds more opponents and enviers than friends.

– Rahul

My Article Published: “Role of Software Tools in Supply Chain Optimization”

My Article titled “Role of Software Tools in Supply Chain Optimization” has been published today on MBASkool.com. You can read it here:

.

Role of Software Tools in Supply Chain Optimization
By: Kumar Rahul

http://www.mbaskool.com/business-articles/operations/192-role-of-software-tools-in-supply-chain-optimization.html

Here is a small URL for the same: http://lnkd.in/FZ5tkZ

The article builds on my experiences during working on supply chain optimization software packages and in my interactions with many 3PLs (third party logistics services providers) in India. While interacting with many 3PLs and also their clients, I noticed a level of discomfort in using the latest software tools for supply chain design and optimization. They wanted to do the same thing using Excel. And I knew for sure that it was not possible to achieve the same result without using the advance tools enabling them. I have attempted to summarize my thoughts in this article.

Do read and if possible comment/discuss, like, or recommend.

- Rahul

.